Chances | Dazai X Reader

Eight • A Little Sweetness

"Goodnight, Dazai."

• • •

In a matter of short days, it's already yours and Dazai's shared birthday.

The mission Mori had assigned was in two or three days according to Dazai. So, you had a bit of free time until then.

With the fact that even on Chuuya's birthday, only the three of you actually held the party. You decided to do the same for Dazai's. Besides, you all were much more comfortable with each other. The last thing you needed was Mori and Elise celebrating with you.

The cake was set on the table in front of the couch in Dazai's room. It wasn't too fancy of cake, it was just a small party after all.

"Well, since you put it on my face last time, I get to put it on yours," Chuuya announced before picking up some icing on his index finger and rubbing it onto your nose. You merely chuckle, "That's not fair." Even though, it was totally fair since you did the exact same thing to him before.

You spread some icing onto your finger, bringing it to Chuuya's face and rubbing it the same way he did. And while you and Chuuya are laughing, Dazai's looking at the two of you...and he's smiling.

"Okay, it wouldn't be fair if the actual person who's birthday it is didn't get any cake on their face."

You take a little more into your hand, bringing it closer to his face and Dazai's frantically putting his hands out, blocking his face. He's trying not to laugh too hard, but he fails when you take your other hand and lower his arms, allowing yourself to rub the icing onto his nose.

And well, Dazai looks cute. He looks like he's actually enjoying himself genuinely—because he is—after so long.

But he doesn't want to.

His eyes remain closed for a few seconds before slowly opening them, coming eye to eye with you and seeing you laugh at him. "You both look cute," you told them, because they did. It's not something that happens everyday, where you get a chance to smear cake on your partner's face.

"Well it's not fair if Chuuya's the only one who gets to put cake on your face. It's your birthday too."

So Dazai takes some onto his finger, bringing the icing closer to your face and brushing his finger downward, letting the icing get onto your cheek.

He doesn't want to.

"Hey! We haven't even blown out the candles. I thought that's what you guys said to do?"

Oh, right. Even Dazai forgot that the candles were still there.

Dazai chuckles before motioning you to the candles. You both blew them out in sync, laughing at each other while Chuuya clapped.

"So you're both officially the same age as me again huh?" Chuuya raised and eyebrow while grinning.

"Yep," you emphasize the 'p' making it pop. "And," you move a little closer to Dazai, "Happy birthday." You say as you bring your arms up and wrap them around him.

He reciprocates the hug, letting a part of his head rest in your hair. His eyes flutter shut and Chuuya's shocked to see him smiling for so long, but that's not the point.

Because he doesn't want to.

"It's your birthday too, you know?" Dazai whispers, lightly stroking your back. Because it technically is still your birthday, real or not.

"Chuuya?" You call him. "I think you know what I'm going to ask."

He lets out a breathy laugh, walking towards you and Dazai and wrapping his arms around the two of you. "I hate you two," he whispers, sarcasm practically dripping from his voice.

"Wow, we love you too, Chuuya."

After hours of casual conversation, alcohol, and a bit of arguing between Dazai and Chuuya, because even though their relationship has gotten better from when they were only fifteen, it wouldn't be fun if their constant bickering stopped altogether.

It was already way past midnight, everyone was tired—not to mention asleep—so the three of you decided to wrap things up.

"Goodnight, Chuuya. Goodnight, Dazai." You said before reaching for the doorknob, opening the door so you and Chuuya can go to your own rooms.

And Dazai...he's tired. Mentally drained as per usual since, it's something that usually happens to him. Using all of his energy and actually being happy during the day always resulted in him not having enough sleep. He stays up, trying to sleep, but he can't.

It's repetitive. Use all of your energy, and then stay up all night, trying to find something to light that loneliness inside you.

Because he's scared. He's scared of it, whether he shows it or not. He's been hiding his whole life and he can't imagine things changing so drastically.

He remembers what he said to Chuuya during a mission when he was fifteen and he pauses, trying to calm himself down.

He groans as he shifts around in his bed, sighing loudly as his mind continues to hit him with several thoughts. A strong pounding of a headache wraps around his head, making it even harder for him to sleep.

He doesn't want to get into something like this.

A/N: Heyy first of all, I wanted to apologize about my slow updates. I also wanted to ask about my writing style and whether it's difficult to read, etc. Other than that, I hope everyone's doing okay!