Chances | Dazai X Reader

Eleven • Weight of Guilt

"Chuuya..?"

• • •

Dazai wakes up into the familiarity of his room. Rubbing his eyes, trying to figure out how he even got here in the first place.

He looks around for a moment, his vision still hazy. He looks around in hopes that he's just hallucinating or that he's just thinking he's awake. But then he's painfully reminded of something.

Chuuya.

He gets up from his bed immediately, running to check Chuuya's room in hopes of him being there.

He unlocks the door, but there's no one in the room. He runs out, trying to talk to Mori or Oda or just anyone that may know where Chuuya is. So he does, Kouyou stops him midway. "Dazai?" She examines his face, the bandage around his right eye is slightly loosened. "Where's Chuuya?" he interrupts her before she can say anything else.

"Chuuya's at the hospital...[Y/N] called us last night."

"Oh, right," he looks around for you. "Is he...okay?" Dazai asks, and there's this unmasked sadness in his voice.

"We aren't allowed to go visit him yet. We're not sure how he's doing," Kouyou explains, "Dazai, let's go back to your room."

"N-No I need to see-"

"Dazai."

"Kouyou, please," he extends one arm, trying to move her out of the way.

She grabs him by his arm, leading him back to his room. Only then does he notice that it's still really early, that almost no one is awake.

What was Kouyou even doing?

Kouyou opens the already unlocked door of Dazai's room, bringing him inside and making him sit down on the edge of the bed.

She brings the chair from his desk out a bit, taking a seat herself as she gets closer to Dazai.

"Which hospital is he at?" Dazai breaks the silence. Kouyou looks at him, a small frown on her face as she speaks, "Dazai, I can't say that just yet. I need you to calm down."

Dazai scoffs, "Calm down? What do you mean calm down? I don't know if my partner is okay after a mistake I made."

"Listen to me, you need to stop worrying so much," Kouyou's trying to make him feel better, but she's lying to herself when she says that she isn't worried. But she keeps herself composed, trying to be rational.

"I pretty much killed him, didn't I?" Dazai whispers, his hands are put into fists on his lap. His knuckles are turning white from how much he's pulling at the fabric of the jeans he's been wearing since yesterday.

"No, you didn't."

Dazai finds that really hard to believe.

"I wasn't there for him."

"Dazai...it wasn't your fault," Kouyou tries to convince him.