Chances | Dazai X Reader

Thirty One • Magicians and Overthinking

TW: very minor mention of s*icide

"A date it is."

• • •

He reaches his hand out, hoping that you'd put your own in his, and you do. "Where are we even going?" You ask him, because none of this was planned. "Anywhere you want to go," he suggests, not too worried about what you may choose. "Why don't we just go out, and go to whatever we find interesting? A nice day out," you say, not too fond of the idea of following a strict date schedule or anything like that. "That would be nice, actually," Dazai says, on board with the whole idea.

Meanwhile, Tachihara and Chuuya have no idea where they're going. They only said they'd hang out, they didn't say where though. It doesn't matter to either of them. They're fine with going wherever, even if they went back to one of their rooms, that would be fine.

But, Chuuya's mind is also very...occupied. Stuck on the thought of Dazai because he still feels bad. He feels bad that he wasn't able to understand him for once. Dazai would always make jokes about suicide, and now? He hardly mentions it. And Chuuya's glad, believe him—he would always try to distract Dazai by calling him names or anything that may get his mind off of that.

He hates him. He hates him so damn much, but he doesn't want him to die.

Even if Chuuya always says that he'll kill him one day, he knows that he'd never be able to bring himself to do that to him. Because only then will he feel even more lonely than he felt ever since—

Forget it.

He just needs to focus on Tachihara for now, yep. They said that they would talk later, right? It shouldn't stress him so much. "Do you wanna...go back to my room?" Tachihara finally breaks the silence, making Chuuya shake himself to pay attention. "I'm good with anything."

Mainly, they're just trying to get to know each other better.

Once they reach his room, Tachihara looks through the pockets of his jeans, pulling out the key to his room. "You don't have a partner, do you?" Chuuya asks while stepping into his room. It's not much different from any other basic room, he still needs to add his own touch to it, Chuuya thinks. But, the room is definitely brighter compared to the others. Tachihara turns to look at Chuuya, "Nah, I don't think I'm gonna have one either." Chuuya raises an eyebrow at him, "You're okay with not having one?" Tachihara sits down onto the bed, pulling out the chair at his desk for Chuuya to sit at. "I mean, a friend or two? Yeah, that'd be nice. Partner? Eh," Tachihara shrugs. "Like, what if you don't get along with your partner? Then what, it's a never ending hell?" He laughs a little, amused by his own response.

"That's true..." Chuuya says, thinking about the first time he met Dazai—how he stepped on him—and how different things are now. Okay, maybe it's not too different from the outside, but there's this massive trust, bond, whatever, that they both feel. "Mori told me a lot about your partner...Dazai, his name? He's the executive, right?" Tachihara says, not noticing how Chuuya stiffens at the mere mention of his name.

As much as he wants to forget it—

That night always makes his way back to him.

"Yeah, that's him," Chuuya replies easily, trying to control himself any way possible. "Ah, right. He was telling me about how you guys got the name soukoku," he says. Chuuya nods at him, a little confused as to why Mori was talking about them so much to a new recruit. And then Chuuya remembers something he had been meaning to ask.

"You have an ability, right?"

Tachihara chuckles, "I do." Chuuya scoffs lightly, "And what would that ability be?" Tachihara puts a finger to his lips, leaning in a little closer to Chuuya, "A magician never reveals his secrets." Chuuya rolls his eyes, that sounds exactly like something Dazai would say when they're arguing, God.

"Okay fine, the wonderful Houdini, you do you."

• • •

Time had passed really quickly while you two were on your date, and it was nice. You had done a majority of some of your favourite things—things that you had gained an interest in after reading about them at the orphanage. And it was great that all of those things happened with Dazai by your side. He enjoyed it just as much as you did, and he loved watching the way you would talk about the things you looked at in complete joy.

As you're walking to Bar Lupin—Dazai thought it would be a nice way to wrap things up—a question that you had been wondering about comes across your mind. "Dazai." He turns to look at you, still hand in hand, "Yeah?"

"This may sound like a weird question—" He raises an eyebrow in response, intrigued about what you're going to ask. "Have you had your first kiss already? Like before—" It really shouldn't be a weird question anyway. It was just to get knowledge of his past experiences, relationships, whatever he may have had. "...I have," he replies, trying to be a little more cautious in his responses. Because normally, he'd say whatever because he could cover it up himself, but since Chuuya's also in this situation—and Chuuya had asked him not to say anything—he has to be more careful.

"Oh, so you were with them?" You ask. "No, it wasn't anything like that." Dazai pauses, "Why? Have you had yours?" He asks the question back.

Faded memories make their way back.

"No, I haven't," you say. "I was only asking because we don't really know our experiences in terms of relationships, you know?" Dazai nods slowly, it does make sense, it's not like what happened before will majorly change things now. Not that it would change much anyway—

He stops at the alleyway near the bar.

"We're here."