Chances | Dazai X Reader

Fifty • The Past Makes Its Way

"All of Mori's missions are weird—"

• • •

"Can't even argue with that," Chuuya replies, and for a second, they completely forget about the bomb that is still in the room with them. They glance over at each other, and both of their mouths hang open for a split second. "Where did he put it?" Chuuya asks, looking around the room.

"Well, from a guy like him—" Dazai starts, already walking over to the place where he suspects the bomb is. "He would keep it in a drawer." Like magic, Dazai opens the drawer and points at the bomb inside. "In conclusion, the man was an idiot."

They still have time left, so they're not running all over the place to defuse it—

Dazai takes something out of his pocket. Chuuya's eyes widen, "And what are you thinking of doing with that?" Dazai rubs a hand down his face, "Cut the red wire, you know, like how they do in every other movie." Because sometimes—according to Dazai—movies can be a way to learn. And he has learnt many, many different things throughout movies—we can leave that to debate. "That's bullshit," Chuuya says, rolling his eyes at the man.

"Yeah, well if it doesn't work, fly us out of here with your ability," Dazai replies, obviously not thinking it through. "As if I can take you with that stupid ability of yours." Dazai laughs at that, mouthing 'true' back at him.

"If it goes off, you can fly out."

"And what will you be doing?"

"Oh, it's always been a dream to die, Chibi. Even if this one might be a little painful," Dazai says. The way he says it? He says it like it's nothing, and that pisses Chuuya off a bit. "Even with [Y/N] here?" Chuuya asks.

"...you know that's not how it works."

His voice is so low and quiet that Chuuya almost missed what he had mumbled. But it hits his ears hard, and he guesses that Dazai does have a point. People's problems don't just magically go away, it takes time. Before Chuuya can say anything else—he is a little thankful he didn't get to because he wasn't exactly sure if what he was going to say was right—Dazai's picking up the gun he left on the floor.

Chuuya looks at him, confused above anything else. Before he has time to even ask what he's doing, the gun fires, and Dazai's eyes were—and still are—fixated on the bomb the whole time. Chuuya sees the way he has his arm bent, pointing the gun behind him and there's now another dead man at the doorway. He didn't even glance at the man before shooting. That small laugh that goes along with it doesn't go unnoticed either. And that laugh is so familiar to Chuuya that he shakes Dazai a little.

Dazai looks at him, "What?"

"You did it again."

Oh.

A long time ago, Dazai asked Chuuya to tell him when he was going back to his...more insane side. Okay, maybe insane isn't the right word. You know, when they were fifteen and Dazai kept shooting an already dead person, eyes widened, and laughing? Yeah. He only asked because he doesn't want you to see that—technically you did during the mission that you cancelled, but he doesn't want that to happen again.

"...thanks for letting me know," Dazai replies, focusing back on the bomb. "I'm gonna cut it." Chuuya inhales sharply, but when has Dazai actually messed up a plan by accident? He trusts him, should he be trusting him?

"Okay."

There was still about thirty seconds left on the bomb before it was going to go off, which makes them wonder how long it was there in the first place. Without sparing another thought, Dazai cuts the wire. And like in every other movie when they defuse a bomb—when they all sigh in relief and hug each other—that doesn't happen. They both look at each other and end up jumping out the window—

Which, yes, is on the second floor.

But Dazai only got a scratch, so he's fine. He's only fine because it didn't hurt at all. They make sure that they're not seen as they quickly try to get back to Mori. Because walking around with blood on your clothes is totally normal. Well, only Dazai has blood stains on his clothes, but they aren't too visible anyway because of what he was wearing.

"I'm keeping these, by the way," Dazai adds on, finally saying something after a few minutes of walking. Chuuya looks down at the rings, then back up to see the piercing. "They're all yours."

Dazai and Chuuya, as everyone knows, haven't always had a great relationship. Hell, they don't even know if their relationship now is any good. But they've definitely progressed, they don't argue as much, it's mainly just name-calling. It's always been something normal for them, but the arguments were never normal. They weren't very common, there were almost never serious arguments.

And sometimes, Chuuya regrets saying some things.

• • •

Chuuya and Dazai, 15 years old.

There's a few things that have been thrown around in the room. They've known each other for a few months—far too many months as they would say. They're still not in any good conditions either, even after being forced to go on missions together.

They were forced to share a room at the time their first actual fight happened, Dazai's things are on the floor. And you'd expect Chuuya to be the one who caused the mess, but no, it was Dazai. Ruining his own things because it's something he's so used to doing—ruining himself again. This very night was when a crack on Dazai's mask finally chipped off.

"That's not my fault."

"It's not mine either! You keep talking like we understand each other when we don't," Chuuya yells.

"No," Dazai mumbles, getting closer to Chuuya, "no, we understand each other perfectly. You may not see it, but I can tell." And he's not wrong because Chuuya thought about it for so long after the fight, he thought he was losing his mind when he could hear Dazai's voice along with others in his head. "Shut up," Chuuya yells back.

"Wounded me with that. Just try to understand what I'm saying—"

Their first argument is still engraved in Dazai's mind, like a needle stabbing at his skull everytime he almost forgets about it. It's not that he's still upset about it, it just hurts because—

"Holy shit, Dazai. You always talk about how much you hate pain yet you don't give a fuck when you hurt other people!"

He hates remembering it because he's right.

Chuuya freezes when he doesn't get a reply instantly, and he's almost afraid he said something bad. Obviously, Chuuya isn't all that worried about it, but that weird bond that they've had ever since they met was always there. Reminder, this all happened when Chuuya hadn't comforted Dazai yet, when he didn't understand any part of it. Dazai's eyes widen, but he tilts his head downwards almost immediately.

"Get out."

"What—you can't ju—"

"Get out."

"Dazai, what the fuck—?"

His burning gaze meets Chuuya's again.

"Get. Out. Now."

• • •

It's a stabbing reminder that he is easily capable of hurting someone without even trying.

A/N: fifty chapters already?? all of your support is literally the thing that keeps me going, thank you.