From Rags To Riches

Chapter Twenty-Two

** Harry's POV **

I know I have fucked up royally.

Every night I spend in our new bed alone reminds me of just how much I fucked this whole thing up.

It blew up in my face and I freaked out, it became too much to quick and I couldnt handle it.

The guilt, the pain of knowing I hurt her, the anger towards Jinx who I cant even face right now.

I feel like he won, he took her from me even though shes still here. We both got a dose of reality with this and it spooked me how much I care about losing her. How much danger she is in for being associated with me, she will always be my weakness and I cant have that.

Not in this life. It would kill me if something happened to her and no doubt my enemies would make it there mission to get to her, knowing they ultimately ruin me in the process.

"Brother" Hunter sat beside me, three weeks have passed with little to no contact between Pippa and I.

I have tried, but she has no interest and I can see the pain in her eyes when she glances at me. She is slipping away, I can feel it and I have to let it happen.

I just grunted at Hunter and he slapped my back and signalled to our prospect behind the bar to get us another round.

"Have you thought about what I said to you? Time keeps ticking" Hunter nudged me and referred back to the brief conversation he had with Pippa where she said I should speak to her, tell her I was scared.

But the woman wont fucking look at me, never mind speak to me!

I am fucking scared, more scared for what this all means for her if she gets involved with me. What it means to all our enemies out there that will open season on her ass. The guilt I feel from what has already happened, how can it ever work?

It cant. Its as simple as that.

"You need to get out of your own head and take the fucking leap" Hunter spoke again, knowing he wasnt getting anywhere with this conversation.

"Its done, its for the best" I gave him a weak smile before I knocked back my whiskey and stumbled towards the stairs for another night on my own.

***

I had just come back from the docks, our friend from PD let us know that we were being watched, so we spent the last two weeks pretending Racer works at the docks and we just roll up to give him shit.

Of course we gotta get our shit moved and off loaded to our warehouse so whilst we keep PD busy with our antics we have guys from the warehouse unload containers and get them back to our depot promptly.

I buried myself into this shit just for a distraction, Pippa came down for breakfast this morning and the tension could be cut with a knife.

I got up and left because I couldnt sit there and not want to absolutely devour her. Beg her to forgive me for being an asshole.

And I cant fucking explain how horny I am, its been weeks and I think I might be dying.

Some days I am even too sad or wound up to do it myself and that just tells me what I was fucking afraid of.

I was starving for sex and food and I knew I could only have one, so I was going to devour every single thing in the fridge and fuck everyone else.