(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

An Angel's Goodbye

Derek had two scheduled surgeries before his afternoon with patient follow up appointments, and there was little time left for the newlyweds to run into each other during the rest of the day.

Meredith joined her friends for lunch and shared a few laughs about the morning's hospital gossip. She'd purposely kept her break to thirty minutes in order to spend the time with Kelly later in the afternoon.

"So, Mer," Cristina said, "you and McDreamy are really going to join us, take a break from doing the nasty nasty?"

"Who says," Meredith told her with a deadpan expression, "we're going to take a break at Joe's...there's always the bathroom..."

"Oh no," George said covering his ears, "I don't carry earplugs."

"Ah...Mer," Cristina said, "we don't really want to know that."

"Then why did you ask?"

"Bitch," Cristina said, the banter easily accepted between the two friends.

"C'mon Cristina...Mer..." Izzie chimed in, "it's going to be a happy occasion."

"Dude, Shepherd won't have any complaints for damn sure," he spoke in between bites of his lunch. "In fact bet it ..."

"Alex Karev," Meredith said, "you make one more bet about us and you're going to have to start looking for a place to live."

"Good," Izzie said, "he can go find his Ava...and George can move back in."

"Shut it Bethany," Alex glared at her.

"Listen evil spawn..."

"Enough! Enough! All of you," Meredith reprimanded. "We're going to celebrate my wedding...so stop with all your immature..."

"Mer," Cristina interrupted her, "you've been gone too long, this is normal."

Meredith looked at her and then laughed, "I guess you're right, not to mention calling him McDreamy."

"Temporary lapse in judgment," Cristina mumbled.

"Cristina..." Meredith smiled, "he has been."

"Yeah...yeah," the usually sarcastic friend answered, and the attempt to hide a smile did not go unnoticed by Meredith who mouthed "thank you" to her.

"This is cozy," Mark Sloan drawled as he walked up to the group of five, "isn't it," he said looking over at Lexie who had walked in beside him.

"Perfect," Lexie said enthusiastically, "everything's set for tonight, guys you just have to get there, and everybody that needed to be included has been invited."

"Lex..." Meredith asked her, "just who is everybody...this was just supposed to be..."

"Grey," Mark interrupted her, "leave it to us, you and Shep just have to be there."

"Mark this is not supposed to..."

"Save it," Mark told her, "I'm the best man, think of it as the bachelor party we didn't have for Shep..." he smiled, that wicked grin he knew would get a rise out of her.

"Oh no," Meredith groaned, "I should have known."

"Mer," Lexie told her, "don't pay any attention to him, he's just trying to save face, since he's been all sentimental and..."

"Xena," Mark said, "no more talking. Let's join Tracy, you can talk to her about it."

"I'll be back," Lexie said to the occupants of the table, "when Mer's gone."

"I'm still here Lexie, I can hear you."

"I know," she smiled, and Mark pushed her along.

Meredith watched her sister and Mark walk away and indeed join Tracy, and wondered just how she was supposed to disregard the nagging, knowing feeling that just wouldn't go away. She'd just have Derek deal with it and talk to Mark if necessary.

Preoccupied with reviewing a case with one of her interns, Meredith was reminded it was already three o'clock when her phone vibrated, and after seeing the text she smiled.

-love you
-derek?
-teasing me... now?
-prelude lol
-can't wait
-love you too
-mulligans here exam room 3
-meet you now?
-20 min just walk in
-ok

There was a soft knock on the door exactly twenty five minutes later before Meredith walked in quietly. Kelly was sitting on the examining table talking away, "someone wanted to see you," Derek smiled without turning away from the little girl.

"Dr. Mewedith," Kelly exclaimed, as her parents smiled, "you're back."

"I am," Meredith smiled, "and I wanted to say hello."

"Now we can go to the twailer," she said happily.

Derek glanced at Meredith and motioned for her to move closer, and she did as she smiled at John and Colleen on the other side of the examining table, but first placed two gift bags on the nearby counter by the sink.

"Married life suits you," Colleen smiled at her, "you look radiant."

"My husband," she smiled back, "has been spoiling me."

"Dr. Mewedith, I've gots two secrets," Kelly interrupted wanting all of Meredith's attention.

"You do?" Meredith said, all attention focused on the little girl.

"Yep..." she giggled, "a big and a little secret."

"Are you going to tell me," Meredith smiled as she ran a hand over Kelly's dark hair.

"You already knows," Kelly giggled again.

"Oh," Meredith played right along with her, "you mean that you were a very good girl while we were away and listened to all Mommy and Daddy asked you to do."

"No," she grinned.

"Really, that's why I thought Dr. Shep was smiling."

"No," she whispered conspiratorially in a most childishly delightful way.

"Do I guess again," Meredith asked her, and felt Derek's hand reach for hers.

"You're not Dr. Shep's girlfriend."

"I'm not," Meredith acted surprised, "and he didn't tell me."

"You gots married," she grinned.

"Ah, you found out our secret," Meredith smiled, "did Dr. Shep tell you that?"

"Don't be silly, I asked him if he gots married, like Mommy and Daddy, cause he's wearing a ring, just like Daddy," she beamed as though it was the most logical thing in the world.

"He didn't do a very good job of keeping the secret did he Kelly," Meredith joked.

"It's just a little secret," Kelly told her, "cause I already knows about it. Mommy and Daddy told Nana and I heard them and then Angela called and talked to Mommy and she said Antonio was going to buy a bottle of pain for you cause you and Dr. Shep gots married," she paused before continuing, "and I asked mommy why she wanted you to have a bottle of pain but she laughed at me and said I was too little to say the word but that you would really like it...did you like it?"

"We loved it. It was a wonderful bottle of champagne."

"That's what Daddy told mommy that it was very expensive and good pain..."

"Don't," Derek said trying to keep from laughing at Kelly's ramble, "let them spend any time together," and the three adults laughed while Meredith turned to glare at him in mock offense.

"Little pitchers..." John said, "honey...you keep forgetting."

"Daddy, you're so silly, you say that all the time," and surprising both Meredith and Derek, she actually knew the rest of the quote, "but I don't see no pitchers with ears."

"Out of the mouth of babes," Derek laughed.

"Dr. Shep," Kelly said seriously, "do only old people like you talk like that?"

"Old people," Derek asked her, "you think I'm old."

"Of course," she stated matter of fact, "Daddy and Nana Maggie and Paddy and..."

"We got it, sweetie," John Mulligan smiled.

"Wait," Derek smiled, "how about Meredith, she's not old?"

"She's beautiful...like Mommy."

"Thank you Kelly," Colleen told her.

"I love you Mommy," she smiled.

"Don't look at me," John exchanged a look with Derek, "I'm still trying to figure it out."

"Daddy," Kelly looked over at him, "I love you too, but you gots to be old."

"I do?"

"Just like Dr. Shep, cause daddies are old so they can have little kids...like me...and Sean and now that Dr. Shep and Dr. Mewedith are married they can have babies and I can play with them."

"That's right Kelly," Meredith said, certain that Kelly's vision of the future would indeed be their reality one day, and kissed her cheek tenderly, "when Dr. Shep and I have babies, you and Sean can play with them."

"Dr. Mewedith," Kelly said suddenly very excited, "I forgots...did Dr. Shep buy you a ring like my mommy's...cause her rings are beautiful and did he get a rock...that's what my grandma calls it ...but it's so funny cause it's a diamond..."

"Yes, he did," she said, and smiled wondering if one day, when Derek and she had a daughter she'd be as chatty as Kelly, and showed her the rings she wore, "what do you think, is it a pretty rock?"

"OH...it's beautiful," she grabbed her hand, "pwetty just like mommy's."

"Well I'm glad you like it, I thought it was very beautiful too."

"Dr. Shep, did you pick it out all by yourself?"

"I did," he said, somewhat confused by the question.

"Cause Daddy, he had to help Uncle Mike, cause Daddy said he damn well,"

"Kelly," her father said, "we don't use that word."

"Daddy, I'm not using the word, I pwomise... just saying what you said..."

"Oh God," Colleen mumbled, "here goes."

"He said, he better get a nice ring cause he was already in deep," she paused, and within seconds continued, "cwap with grandma and grandpa cause he and my auntie, that's mommy's sister, they gots a baby before they got married, right Daddy?"

"Mer..." Derek laughed, "don't ever say a word in front of our babies..."

"Dr. Shep," Kelly opened her eyes wide, "you're having a baby?"

"No sweetie," Derek said, "we just got married..."

"But auntie Shannon, she gots married after she gots a baby in her tummy."

"Kelly, honey," her mother interrupted, "why don't you let Dr. Shepherd finish examining you and then we can go home and we can watch that new movie we got."

"Mommy...he already finished, don't you remember," she asked so adult like, this time all four adults laughed.

"Dr. Shep," Meredith asked, "did Kelly follow all your instructions, and she's healing nicely?"

"She's doing great and her mom and dad told me she was a very good girl."

"So, do you think we should give her the gift we brought her?"

"Dr. Mewedith," she raised her voice, "you gots me a gift?"

"We did..."

"What is it?"

"Meredith," Colleen said, "there was no need..."

"There was," Meredith smiled, "we wanted to," and the two smiled in mutual understanding that the bonds of a budding friendship would last beyond their own lifetime.

"Young lady," Derek said coming closer to her, "before you get your gift, you have to remember all we talked about...everything you have to do when you go home?"

"Yes...Dr. Shep..." she said a bit impatient, though she still flashed him an enchanting smile. "I can't pick up my baby brother, and I have to do everything that Mommy and Daddy and the grown ups tell me and I've got to rest when they tells me."

"Very good...I'm very proud of you, you did everything I asked you and that's why you're healing so much faster than I thought..."

"Does that mean I can visit the twailer...can I ..." she asked ignoring Derek, "Dr. Mewedith can I visit now that you're back?"

"Derek..." Meredith turned to him and raised her eyebrow.

"Kelly, you will be able to visit us pretty soon, but when you do, I want you to be able to have a really good time and right now you still need to rest a bit...and the nurse that's with you every day she will help you with your exercises so you can be better much faster."

"Ok...but...we'll do bubbles," she said as though that would it worth the wait.

"Absolutely, all the bubbles and all the running around you want," he assured her.

"After we come back...I can go to the twailer and have the barbie?"

"We'll see...ok...when you come back we'll see if you're healed completely, and I will tell you how much longer we have to wait so you come visit the trailer and we have a barbecue."

"But I feel good, jut like I tolds you, only a little pain and Mommy gives me medicine."

"I know you do, but we just have to wait till I see you again, ok?"

"Can I get my present now?" She changed the subject in typical childlike subject retention.

"Yes," he said and walked over to grab the bags on the counter and gave it to Meredith. She'd asked him to pick up what they'd brought back when he dropped her off this morning, and then he'd gone to the hospital gift shop and bought two bags to place them in.

"Kelly," she said, "let' see, there's two gifts here...one is for Sean," and took out a set of handmade wooden blocks from the boyish baby bag Derek had selected.

"My baby brother will love them," she smiled, "he likes to put blocks on top of each other and then knock them down."

"Well, I bet you can help him build lots of things," Derek said.

"I can...and I gots to teach him not to knock them down, cause he's gonna be art...something," she said dismissively when unable to pronounce architect, "just like Daddy."

"This," Meredith said as she handed her the very pink girlish bag, and taking a very small gift envelope, "is from Angela and Antonio for you, a get well present."

"Look Mommy, just like the little bag that Daddy brought you from his trip," she said referring to the traditional European mini bags with the small satin ribbons.

"It is," her mother said, caressing the little girl's locks as she stood behind her, amazed and grateful of her daughter's incredible recuperation, "let's see what Angela sent you."

"Oh, Mommy it's beautiful," she said as the small gold bracelet slipped into her hand.

"It certainly is," Colleen agreed, "do you want to wear it now?"

"Yes, please," she said and waited patiently for her mother to fasten the clasp.

"Just like a big girl, wearing a shiny gold bracelet," she said as she smiled at her little girl's delight over the thin bracelet with four tiny corals interspersed on her daughter's wrist.

"Mommy we have to call Angela so I can tell her I love the bwacelet..."

"And say thank you," her mother reminded her.

"Thank you Dr. Mewedith...for bringing it to me."

"You're welcome," she said and hesitated before giving her the other present, second guessing her choice and not even sure now if the little girl would even like it.

Derek noticed her uncertainty as she bit her bottom lip, and stood behind her, resting his hand on her hip, "Kelly, would you like to see your other present."

"Oh yes...please..."

He caressed her hip ever so gently, and said, "go on, show her."

"Kelly," she said as she took out a box from the bag, "it's just a little something that made me think of you...Dr. Shep and I were walking around and we saw this...and I thought...maybe you'd like it... and I don't know too many little girls...in fact, you're really the only little girl I know...but I think...little girls like to..."

"Meredith," Derek said softly, "let her open it."

"Oh...yes, here, you can open it," she said, and Colleen helped her open the box and lifted an exquisitely detailed animated reproduction of a miniature carousel with colorfully decorated horses that also included a lion and smiling children atop the animals, and a little girl wearing a beautiful dress and hat covering her dark long curls sat smiling atop a zebra. The light and dark blue circus like tarp completed the decorative cover graced by a blue elephant on the top.

"Oh my goodness," the little girl almost whispered, "Dr. Mewedith, cawousels are my favorite...and you gave me my very own...I love riding the cawousel"

Meredith eyes watered, amazed at the happiness she saw in Kelly's eyes, but unprepared for the words that followed, when she had to lean back gently against Derek for support.

Kelly face beamed as she began to touch each of the small figurines, and then said, "my friend Bwianna, she likes cawousel's too, but she doesn't like horses, she likes lions," she said innocently, "cause she said her mommy likes lions too," and a small gasp escaped both Meredith and Derek.

"Honey," Colleen said, concerned with her daughter's obsession with the imaginary, yet more often than not she wasn't quite so sure was so imaginary. "You didn't tell me that."

"Cause Mommy, she only told me last night," she said, "when I was going to sleep, and she told me a secret."

"Look Mommy, Daddy...it goes around," she said, as she heard a familiar tune, when Meredith wound the mechanism that brought the carousel to life.

"It does," John said, "you haven't said thank you, and it's a very thoughtful beautiful gift."

"Thank you...Dr. Mewedith...Dr. Shep...it's the most beautiful carousel I ever saw."

"You're welcome Kelly," Derek smiled, while glancing over at Meredith.

"Are you going to tell us the secret," her mother asked.

"No silly, cause it won't be a secret."

"Dr. Shepherd," John said, "we're a bit concerned."

"It's not unusual John, for kids to talk to," he mouthed, "imaginary friends."

"It's been more than that," John argued.

"Honey," Colleen placed her hand on his arm, "it's ok. It's a dream."

"Mommy, no, it was not a dream," Kelly said emphatically, "and she told me a secret," she continued to be enthralled by the carousel.

"Why don't you tell Mommy, please. While I put this away so we can take it home."

"I tell Dr. Mewedith only."

"Mer," Derek whispered, "are you ok?" He asked, and all the answer he got was a light squeeze of the hand he held.

"Kelly," she moved closer to her, "you can tell me," and she leaned down as the little girl began what she thought was a whisper to her ear, but was heard by all.

"She told me she had been a bad girl," she giggled, "no, wait...a naughty angel, and her grandma and grandpa told her she had to stay with them all the time, so she had to say goodbye," Derek inched closer, placing his hand on the small of Meredith's back offering the emotional support she needed, "but she was always going to be close cause she was my angel for always..."

"She said all that," Meredith smiled at her.

"She did Dr. Mewedith...she did...but she can't come back no more, but she's going to be my friend forever and ever...and that's a long time...like from here to the moon..."

"Yes, it is," Meredith told her, "and I believe she will be...and that she's your special angel friend."

"That's what she said," Kelly beamed, "and I can tell you her secret."

"Why don't you do that," Meredith encouraged.

"She said" and her voice was quieter, "to give Dr. Mewedith and Dr. Shep a big hug and a kiss and that she loves you lots and lots."

"Oh sweetie," Meredith said as she hugged her, "thank you for sharing your secret."

"Dr. Mewedith," the little girl said after being held tightly and she looked at Meredith, "your eyes are wet again, are you sad?"

"No sweetie, I'm happy that I got to meet such a beautiful and special little girl."

"That's me?"

"That's you...and that you have an angel for a friend, because only very special little girls get to have a friend like that."

"She's going to be my angel friend forever."

"Yes, sweetie, I know she is," Meredith said, "and you know what else?"

"What?"

"I think that your friend Brianna would be happy if you gave Dr. Shep that hug she told you about," and she moved out of the way so the little girl could hug her husband.

"Dr. Shep," she whispered, "Bwianna said she loves you...lots and lots," and Derek hugged her as he would have liked to hug his daughter and the other three adults in the room understood the magnitude of the spiritual moment shared. They knew they'd been fated to be in each other's life, and that the little girl the famous neurosurgeon held in his arms had been chosen to help heal two souls whose dreams had been shattered the same day prayers of an entire family had been answered, and the miracle of life preserved.

Three souls afar on another plane smiled at each other as they continued to witness the healing journey of two broken hearts whose devastating loss had ultimately helped restore their faith and sealed their loved for a lifetime. A healing journey began with the gentle dream and whispers of an angel named Brianna that had now whispered her, albeit temporarily, goodbye.

The quiet intensity of the moment was broken by a child's quest for answers.

"Dr. Shep," she said quite seriously, as though she'd given the matter a lot of thought, "why are your pajamas dawk blue...and Dr. Mewedith has light blue?"

"Kelly," Meredith smiled, unable to keep from teasing Derek, "that's because he'd old, and he has to wear the dark blue."

"You're going to pay for that," Derek whispered in her ear.

"Gladly," she laughed.

"You're talking grown up," Kelly frowned, "just like Mommy and Daddy, it's not nice."

"No sweetie," Meredith said, and lifted her off the examining table and hugged her, and the little girl wrapped her legs around Meredith's wait, and laid her head on her shoulder, "it's not, so we won't do that anymore."

"Dr. Mewedith," Kelly said and looked up at her and her small hands cupped her face, "I love you...lots and lots," and Meredith's heart melted and was unable to control the tears that gathered as she looked back at the little girl that had unknowingly given her so many treasured moments of healing and hope.

"I love you too Kelly," Meredith kissed her cheek tenderly and hugged her close.

"Dr. Mewedith," Kelly said very softly, quietly, almost as though she knew it was something very special.

"Yes, sweetie."

"Is Bwianna your angel too?"

Meredith swallowed past the lump that seemed permanently lodged in her throat by the things this little girl made her feel, "can you keep a secret?"

"Yes," she whispered in Meredith's ear.

"She is...she is my angel too...and Dr. Shep's."

"That's a really big secret," Kelly said, "can I tell Mommy?"

"Yes, you can, you tell your Mommy everything...you don't keep anything from her."

"I love you, Dr. Mewedith."

"I love you too Kelly," she said and handed her over to her mother.

"Meredith," Colleen said, "we'll see you next week."

"Colleen, don't you mean later?" John asked her. "For dinner?"

"Daddy, we're going to see Dr. Mewedith again later...for dinner?"

"Meredith," Colleen said, "you owe me a remedy, remember?"

"Oh yes, the foot syndrome," she answered and both women laughed.

"Daddy just meant we'll see them again next week Kelly."

"Derek," John "congratulations again, we'll see you..." he paused, "soon."

"Thanks John," he smiled, "we'll see you soon."

"Bye Dr. Shep, I'm gonna follow tructions really good so I can come to the twailer."

"I'm sure you are, and if you keep following instructions like you have, I think that will happen very soon."

"Don't forget the bubbles."

"I won't. You have sweet dreams tonight princess."

"You too," she giggled.

"You called me a princess."

"Dr. Shep," she smiled, and Meredith and Colleen looked at each other and smiled, they would laugh later about how Kelly was flirting with him, "you're so silly."

"Yeah Kelly," Meredith said as she wrapped her arms around his waist, "he is," and that made the little girl giggle and the room was filled with a lighthearted happiness that lingered after the family had left.

Derek wrapped his arms tightly around her as soon as the door closed, "I love you Meredith."

"She said goodbye..." Meredith whispered, "not just to us last night...to Kelly too."

"She did," he said, as he kissed the top of her head. "But, I also know," he said and she heard the raw emotion in his voice, "she will be back."

Meredith hugged him as though she'd never let go, and then she loosened her hold to meet his gaze, and both saw the reflection of hope for the future. "She will," she said, "I expect to hear I love you lots..." her bottom lip quivered, "mommy and daddy... one day...we'll hear that again."

"We will Meredith," he said, and the unshed tears made his eyes shine brightly, "we will," and kissed her lips tenderly before holding her in his embrace until both were ready to let go of each other and continue with the rest of the day.

"I'll see you at five," she said, as she caressed his cheek, "so we can go home before we go to Joe's?"

"You gonna make it up to me...about the old comment?"

"No," she laughed, "we're going to do the nasty nasty..."

"Mer," he laughed, "what are you twelve?"

"That's what the wicked witch said, wasn't it?"

"Ah...what....I don't ..."

"Brainless," she laughed, and kissed him fast and quick. "I'm joking," she paused, "well not really, I do mean we're going home and ..."

"The nasty nasty, which of your friends came up with that?"

"Cristina," she laughed, "you know when I lost my panties."

"You lost your panties?"

"Derek, seriously...the prom..."

"Uhmmm...those panties...fond memories...you know Mer..." he said, looking around the examining room.

"Don't even think about it," she laughed, "not right now anyway."

"Spoilsport."

"See you at five. Don't make me wait."

"Nag."

"But, you love me anyway."

"I adore you," he said and gave her a quick kiss before they walked out of the room.

It was just after five when Meredith met up with Derek in the hospital lobby, and they walked out holding hands.

"So, Mrs. Shepherd..."

"Yes...Dr. Shepherd..."

"Do you remember the last time we walked out of here ... as single people."

"Derek," she changed the subject, "I think now that we're married," she smiled, "I should get your parking spot."

"You mean because you're lazy and always running late...so you want to have one of the closest spots to the front door?"

"Ass," she joked.

"Ah...you said that," he smiled, "that day, you said the same thing."

"Uhmm..." she said, and as they had reached their car and much like the day he referred to earlier she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him and then took her time kissing him.

"Let's not waste any more time," he said, "for the nasty nasty," and they both roared laughing, oblivious to the audience and uncaring that the sexcapades of Meredith and Derek would again be the evening's entertainment.

"What are you waiting for?"

"Just wanting to make sure," he teased, "what was it you asked me, that last day...whether married sex...would be boring..."

"I did not..."she laughed, "and you know it..." she said, thinking back to the comment she'd made, "and besides...how can it be...you have a wife...that's definitely not boring, and she even let's you ...flirt with that slutty intern..."

"Meredith," he whispered upon her lips, "my wife...she's let me do a lot more than flirt," and she glared at him before he continued, "you're the only woman...since the day we met...the only woman I've wanted...or want...the love of my life...for always."

"I love you Derek," she said and kissed him deeply, and both gave in to the pleasure of the other's lips until they took a much needed breath, "you've been the only man...the only man I've ever loved."

"Let's go," he said, "we've just provided another one of those moments we'll never live down" and both laughed, "especially since the last time we did this, in plain view of the hospital gossip mongers, we were away for ten days, but tonight," he teased, and nibbled her bottom lip, "we'll be at Joe's in a little more than two hours."

"Two hours," she laughed, "it's after five Derek, we're supposed to be at Joe's at seven, that's not more than two hours."

"Who says we're going to be on time?" he said, cocking his head slightly, the McDreamy smile enticing her, making her forget any compelling reasons for them to need to be on time, and she smiled as he leaned down to kiss her once she was seated on the passenger side.

"Let's go home Derek," she smiled and deepened their kiss, leaving him wanting, aching for her, "where it all began...and take me for a ride."