(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Two Hearts

Derek led Kathleen inside the trailer commenting, "this, it's not as bad I'm sure, as Nancy made it sound."

"You're right, but, I can see you here...I just hope not for long."

"That's the plan...to build a home."

"Derek, what you said earlier, trust...it's a big issue between you, isn't it?"

"One of the major ones."

"We need to talk about this, obviously, we're not going to finish this conversation before Meredith and Mark get here, but I'm not letting you avoid it."

"We're not. I thought we'd spend the day together tomorrow, we can talk...all day...we can talk..."

"You're not working?"

"I took the next few days off, after I called you, this morning I made arrangements for the next two days off."

"How do you feel about playing tour guide?"

"You want to hit all the tourist places, The Needle...Pioneer Square..."

"Actually, no, I've read a couple of books that took place in the San Juan Islands, and have seen some footage, and I'd kind of like to go there...maybe we can even spend the night and come back the next day, I looked it up and it's about a three hour drive."

"We can drive up...but I can't stay the night. I've got to be back here by seven tomorrow."

"I thought you took the day off."

"It's Meredith, she...she took the first steps and has an appointment with a therapist tomorrow, and I need to be here."

"Of course...I understand that. Derek, that's an important step, whatever problems you have, that's very important."

"Yes, it is, especially for her."

"Then you have to be there for her."

"Kathleen, what did you think of her?"

"I think she's wonderful."

"Really? You really do?"

"Yes, and I find her vulnerable and beautiful and completely in love with you, and that is all that matters to me. But, Derek, when you called...something...something very wrong was going on."

"There was, and it was important...very important to me that you meet her first, without telling you all that has happened, because, I don't want you judging her...Kathleen, I won't have anyone judging her. I wanted you to see for yourself... why I love her...not all the issues that she's had to deal with."

"I already told you, I'd make up my own mind."

"Yes, but, our lives, since we met, and this last year...it's been hell, and I almost lost her, I can't lose her again...that's what my call was about."

"Do you mean the back and forth, and yes I know about that..."

"No, literally, I lost her..." he paused, tears filling his eyes, "she drowned...and I pulled her out of the water...and she was gone..."

"Derek...she drowned..."

"Yeah..." he said, "and everyday I live in fear of losing her..."

"Oh, Derek," she said with brimming tears of her own, "I'm so sorry," and pulled him into her arms and let him cry.

"Last night," he said, "last night was about that...that fear that never goes away."

"But, today, you both seemed happy, like all was alright."

"It is, but, there's a lot we need to work on, and she took the first step with therapy, and I need...I have to do the same, but I needed you...I needed you to be the one that helps me when I fall apart."

"Derek, that's very dramatic...since what I've seen, the two of you together..."

"We love each other Kathleen, that's the only thing that's helping, the only thing that gives me hope."

"What can I do?"

"You're here, that's a start."

"Tell you what, let's enjoy tonight, and tomorrow we talk...you start at the beginning and we talk through it all, you can join me at the B & B which is lovely, or I can come here."

"We can drive to the San Juan's, if we leave early we can still get back in time."

"Derek that's pushing it, we can go there another time. I'll be back, especially since you've now made the offer to my fishing addicted husband and he's all ready to fly out here."

"Hey, it's not a bad drive, we can go. If you're still an early riser, we can leave by seven and be back here in plenty of time. It's up to you, since you're the one that would be jet lagged."

"I'm perfectly fine, and I'd love to go, if you don't mind.

"Then that's the plan."

"Let me help with dinner."

"Sit down and relax, I'm going to marinate the meat and everything else won't take long. I hope Mer's not too late, so I can take you out to the site, you can see where we're going to build our house."

"Derek, you have a trailer next to yours, care to tell me about that?"

He laughed and explained why Richard Webber was his neighbor.

"Kathleen," he said after a few minutes of silence, "I've never loved anyone like I love her."

"I can see that."

"And I have hurt her so much."

"Has she hurt you too?"

"Yes, but...most of the time...it was because of my own behavior."

"Derek, you can't take the blame for everything that goes wrong in a relationship."

"I'm not, but I know...I know each time I failed her, I drove her away by reiterating all her doubts, and we almost didn't make it."

"But now, you think you're going to make it?"

"I know we are. We both do, no matter what, we're committed to making it work, it's been hard, the last two weeks have been hell, but where we are, where we are right now, there's no going back."

"So, basically, you need to go back and deal with your issues...one by one...individually and together."

"Yeah...basically."

"I can deal with that, it's my specialty, remember?"

"I remember."

"Good, and you should also remember I'm one of the best in my field."

"Uhmm...Shepherd cockiness rears its ugly head," he teased. "Here, toss the salad, you can help with that."

"Is that cheesecake chocolate?"

"One of Mer's favorite, and lately, she's been cr..." he stopped before revealing more information.

"You are trying very hard to please her."

"I'm only making up for some of the times I...I should have treated her better."

"Derek, relationships, they require two people ...two committed people."

"I know. It sounds like they're here, I can hear the cars driving up, when she gets here..."

"Derek, relax. I like her, a lot, and from what you've said, and Mark, I think he's right."

"What's that?"

"He said she was his sister now too, and that once I got to know her, I'd want to protect her too."

"He said that?"

"He was a totally different Mark, his demeanor about her, very protective."

Yes...I think he's right...I hope you will see all that I see in her."

"I think I already have. Derek, her eyes, when I look at the expression in her eyes, I've never felt such a powerful emotion...her eyes are truly windows to her soul."

"That's her...that's what I see, when I look in her eyes."

"It's much more than that...it's especially powerful, when she's looking at you."

"Thank you."

"For what."

"For really looking at her...for capturing who she is...who she is to me...what we are to each other."

"It's hard to miss...and I'm going to make sure, I help you both heal, and build a strong relationship."

"I love you Kathleen," he said with deep emotion.

"As I love you...hey, when are you giving her the necklace?"

"Now...when we go out to the site...so maybe you can help me get a few moments of privacy, and keep Mark occupied."

He could hear Meredith's laughter as she walked to the front door and swung it open.

"Derek, I think you are going to want to kill Mark," she said as she walked up to him.

"I did nothing to warrant killing me, I was strictly defending your honor."

She smiled at Derek, and kissed him softly, "Derek, you are truly going to want to kill him, he's made us the main attraction again, and even started taking bets in front of me."

"Mark, what the hell did you do this time?"

"Kathleen, see what I get...I try to be gallant, and all I get is this kind of crap..."

Meredith stood in front of Derek and slipped her arms around him. "I missed you."

"Me too...did you get..."

"Yes..." she said loosing herself in his gaze, and smiling.

"Shep...stop with the eye sex, you do have company."

"Mark, why don't you show Kathleen the lake, before it's too dark. We'll meet you in a couple of minutes, so we can go out and show her where we're building."

"Derek, we can see in tomorrow," Kathleen told him.

"You have to see the view, Kat, the view at dusk is spectacular."

She noticed the longing looks between Meredith and Derek, and knew they needed a moment alone.

"Mark, show me the lake."

"You're a smart woman, wearing sensible sneakers," he said as they walked out the door, "he ruined my three hundred dollar shoes dragging me out through the mud at the crack of dawn."

The minute they were left alone he drew her to him and embraced her. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Did you look at your test results?"

"I did, but it's not my specialty, so we really do need to wait for the doctor to review them, and I think it looks fine, the HCG levels are high...but other than that, we need to wait."

"It's really official now...no more doubts," he said and kissed her softly.

"No more doubts...I'm definitely pregnant."

"I can't wait...Meredith...till I can see...the baby growing...watch you ..."

"Get fat..." she joked.

"You're going to be beautiful...and I can't wait to see the changes..."

"I did say, I'd let you feel those changes...later..."

"Tease."

"Derek, there's one change you can see right now..." she smiled.

"Meredith...Mark and Kathleen...they're waiting for us..."

"You're mind is in the gutter...this is what I meant," she said, and lifted her shirt and sweater."

Derek wasn't quite sure what she meant, and didn't say anything.

"You don't notice anything?"

"Sorry, should I?"

"Derek," she said, "you really don't notice anything?"

"Well, you don't usually go around with your jeans unbuttoned...."

"No, I don't..." she said and watched the realization on his face.

"Meredith...you mean...you're ...they don't....button, that's the baby growing..."

"Yeah...that's the baby growing...and making me have to leave these jeans unbuttoned, because it was just too tight to be comfortable."

"Meredith...later tonight, maybe...we can see a baby bump...you think..."

"No...there really isn't...it's too soon, but definitely my waist is larger...that's the reason these jeans are to tight."

"We're having a baby..." he said, and placed his hand on her belly, "he's really there."

"He really is...and making his presence felt more each day..."

"Are you ok..."

"Other than spending lots of time in the bathroom...yeah...I'm ok."

"We should go, " he said kissing her, "really do want to share that view with Kathleen."

"Derek, I'm starving, we won't stay long?"

"Just long enough."

"For what?"

"Uhmm... you'll see."

"Derek...don't tease me... I don't like surprises..."

"You've liked your surprises lately," he said and kissed her again.

"I have...maybe...I'll get used to them..."

"Maybe you will..." he teased, "let me get my jacket, are you warm enough with what you're wearing?"

"Yes," she said kissing him again, this time deeper, eliciting from him, a low deep moan.

"Let's drive down to get them," he said as he reached for her hand, and they got in his four-wheel to drive to the edge of the lake to get Kathleen and Mark.

"Kathleen, this is Meredith's favorite time of day...mine too now...the colors of dusk, and from this view...they are spectacular."

"Get ready to ruin your shoes too."

"Mark, stop complaining..." Kathleen told him just as her phone rang.

"Hi honey, everything ok with the kids...yes, let me talk to her."

"Hey, sweetie, how was your game today? Really, that's great...yes, Uncle Derek really spoke to Dad and asked him to go visit him...well, I don't know when we will see him, but, after I get home from this trip, we'll call Uncle Derek and figure out when we can visit...I know...sweetie, it has been a long time since we've seen him...I'll be home in a few days, right after I finish with my patient...she did, well you tell Grandma, that when Mommy's are doctors, they have to travel unexpectedly sometimes...ok, I love you too.. now let me speak to Dad."

"What the hell is that about?" Mark questioned.

"Mom doesn't know where Kat traveled to."

"You guys are in so much trouble," he laughed, "I can't wait till the Shepherded women find out."

"We're driving to the site on Derek's land where he's building a house, and then going back to the trailer for dinner. Uhmmm....yeah...I'd like that too...call me, if you're up...call me later...I love you."

"Kathleen, you've been married for how long...and you still have those conversations, it's pathetic," Mark commented.

"You're just jealous...because you haven't got past your man whoring ways."

"Not likely...I'm having great adventures..."

"You're old Mark, time to settle down."

"I'm not old."

"Children...it's been thirty ...can you please behave," Derek reprimanded, and all four adults laughed.

"Here we are...get ready for a hike," Mark stated, and he helped Kathleen out of the car, and linked her arms through his. Kathleen and Mark linked arms and walked behind Derek, who'd done the same with Meredith.

When they reached the spot he wanted to show her, he did not need to say anything, as the view spoke for itself. Dusk had settled deeply into the far away Seattle skyline, and what remained was the deep indigo blue of the sky with just a hint of burnt orange in the background, and the small scattered lights extending from the mountain side to the valley and beyond to the city lights of Seattle.

"Derek, this is beautiful...a perfect location..."

"I thought you might see it that way..."

"It is... I can see why you chose this spot...Meredith, this is a beautiful site for a home."

"Yes, it is..." she said, and leaned in close to Derek.

"Let's walk over, closer to the cliff, you've got to see that site."

"Well... I'm not sure about that...not very fond of cliffs... you two go..."

"Kathleen, you've never..."

"Mark, let's walk over in that direction...turn that flashlight on...looks like there's a couple of chairs to enjoy the view."

Derek smiled at his sister's manipulation, there was no way in hell she was scared of cliffs, but it gave him the moment alone with Meredith he needed.

"Hey, walk with me..."

"Derek...I'm starving...and I've seen this before..."

"There's not an ounce of romance in you... is there...as I try to steal a moment alone with you...to kiss you..."

"What...you think there's not romance in me....that's....Derek, that's not nice..." she said, and he could tell she was actually getting upset.

"Meredith, I'm teasing you...come on...I want to show you something..."

"I've seen it before," she muttered stubbornly.

"No, you haven't...please..." he said, and pulled her along with him.

"Fine."

"Try to sound a bit more enthusiastic."

"You said I had no romance in me..."

"I was kidding...all I need to do is look at you...and I think of nothing but romance..."

"Derek...that was really cheesy..."

"But true..."

"I love you Derek."

"I love you too," he said and facing the horizon, wrapped his arms around her, setting gently on her lower abdomen.

"Do you think Kathleen and Mark can see us?"

"Not the best lighting in the world for that... but she knows I wanted a few minutes alone with you."

"She did...you planned this..."

"Uhmmm... I did."

"Why?"

"Because I have a gift for you... and I told her I wanted to give it to you out here..."

"You got me a gift...another one?"

"Technically...it's not just from me..."

"Who else would get me a gift..."

"Here...open it and see..." he told her as he reached for his pocket and took the turquoise box with its white satin ribbon and placed it in her hands."

"Derek...what did you do...what did you get?"


"I'm not going to tell you...open it...before we lose all natural light and you can't see it."

"You...you're going to spoil me..."

"I'm going to love spoiling you....for the rest of our lives."

She ran her finger gently over the satin ribbon, and then carefully untied the bow, and lifted he small lid to reveal the gift he'd purchased.

"Derek," she whispered, "this...it's ....beautiful..."

"You like it...really..." he asked with a hint of nervousness in his voice, "it's from both of us...our baby...and me."

"Oh..."she said, and he heard the quiet sniffle, "but...I...what I got you...it was nothing like this...just an outfit...and not expensive...just I thought... I wanted. to tell you...and...I found...it... but this..."

"Meredith...what you got me...that gift...I can't help but smile...each time I think about it...the message...that you'd think of it...and how you planned to tell me...that...that was priceless...and always will be."

"Really... even though....it was...so... so simple..."

"Simple...no...our baby...and his message to me...was priceless."

"The baby does...you know...our baby loves you..."

"Well...I wanted to make sure you also know how much our baby loves you...how much we both love you."

"Derek...you are making me cry, all the time...and this...it's beautiful...and...I love you...Derek, I love you both so much too," she said as she lifted the chain and small pendant from the box and placed it lovingly in the palm of her hand.

"When did you get this?"

"Today...when I went to lunch with Kathleen, I stopped on the way home."

"She knew...she saw it..."

"I asked her...after I picked it out...if she knew the designer...and she did...and, I thought you'd like it...it reminded me of you....delicate and beautiful..."

"Oh, Derek, it is...and it means...so ...so much..."

"Should I wear it...do you want me to...?"

"Of course I do...Meredith, I kept looking for the perfect gift...to celebrate...and thank you...and tell you I love you...really I wanted you to have something from both of us...and I saw this...and thought you'd like this..."

"I love this, it's beautiful...and that you'd think of this,"she said, looking at him eyes brimming with tears.

"How could I resist, two open hearts...silver and gold, and it made me think...of you and me, and the baby...and first I saw the two hearts, you and me...our hearts entwined forever, but also...and nobody has to know yet, and Meredith, the smaller one, the baby...two hearts...his and mine...beating because of you...for you..."