(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Building Trust

She did not know how she managed to hold herself together without breaking down, after Derek had spoken of a great loss in their family, but somehow she had until they reached his office.

They walked in and he closed the door behind him, and simply held her "shhh, it's ok," he said kissing her temple, "you were so brave in there...and I'm so proud of you," he murmured softly, "and I love you very much," he said trying to keep his own emotions under control.

"Derek..." she cried, "I'm sure...I am...if there's such things as angels...that...that was our baby...somehow...she let us know...Derek...she knew her daddy saved another little girl," she whimpered and held on to him tightly, and with that, his resolve crumbled, and they both held each other and cried.

"I'm going to be gone for just a little bit...I'm going to go check on her scan...and then, we can leave..." he spoke gently, "will you be ok?"

"Yes."

"Will you lie down a bit...please," he said and walked her to the small couch, and when she sat down kissed her lips briefly.

"I'm ok...go, make sure she's ok...do you think she is Derek, do you think she's going to be ok?"

"I want to review all her tests, and what's happened since her surgery, but, Meredith, there's no explanation for that drop in temperature, there really isn't..."

"Derek," she said, holding his hand in hers, "maybe there is..."

"Let me check everything out, I won't be long."

"Derek...it's too much of a coincidence...my dream...the name...Briana..."

"We'll talk later...ok?"

"Yes. Is it ok, if I use your computer?"

"Of course," he said, and walked over to his desk, and pretending to look for some papers, placed a small black and white image inside his coat jacket, " I should be here shortly, if you need anything...page me."

"I'm ok..."

"Yes...you are..."

Derek...when you come back...can we talk...talk about my dream..."

"We can talk about anything you want," he said, and again walked over to her and brushed her lips with his.

Derek hurried through the hospital corridor, he wanted to understand Kelly's sudden recovery, and make sure there was nothing they were overlooking.

"Derek," he stopped at the sound of Lexie's voice, "is something wrong with Meredith, you're here, you had to bring her in?"

He smiled at her concern, "good morning Lexie, no she is fine, we dropped off Kathleen at the airport and I got paged, a 911 with the little girl I operated on right...right before Meredith...before she lost the baby."

"Where is she? Did she go to her house?"

"No, she's actually in my office, I didn't think she was up to seeing a lot of people yet"

"Yeah...I get it."

"Lexie, I'm sure she would not mind seeing you...if you have a few minutes."

"I do...I'm early...you know, Dr. Yang, I'm trying to be here when she gets here, get the best surgeries and all."

"Lexie..." he started to speak, but stopped.

"Derek, did you want to say something?"

"Yang, she's an excellent doctor, she will be an amazing surgeon, but you...both you and Meredith have a quality she does not have, compassion...and that...don't ever lose sight of that..."

"I want to be a great doctor...I want to learn..."

"You will, just keep the important things in life in perspective, it's not all about the surgeries...I'm afraid Yang forgets that at times..."

"I won't...and if I do...I'll have my sister and brother in law to remind me..."

"We will...go see her."

Meredith heard a soft knock on the door, which she decided to ignore, she was not ready to face anyone or answer questions yet, but, the door open slightly and she was a bit annoyed until she saw it was her sister.

"Mer, Derek said you were here, that I should...that it would be ok if I came to see you, I hope you don't mind...that's why I opened the door, he said you probably wouldn't answer.."

"Lex, stop rambling, and come in and close the door."

"He told me he was called in after you dropped off Kathleen."

"Yes, he was...what are you doing her so early? It's barely six, don't you start at eight today?"

"Cristina, she's been her since five...get the best surgeries and all and she's kind of teaching me a little, letting me be in on her surgeries."

"Really?"

"Just in the last few days...but yeah, so I had to get here early today."

"Lex...Cristina is brilliant, as a doctor, a surgeon, but don't lose sight of who you are, I've seen you with patients, don't ever lose that for the hard core approach she has..."

Lexie laughed, "that's what Derek just said."

"What do you mean?"

"He gave me a similar speech...not to lose being compassionate...and I told him I'd have the two of you to remind me, and keep me in line."

"We will..." she smiled, "he really said that?"

"Mer...you two...you are amazing...how in sync you are..."

"It hasn't always been that way..." she murmured.

"But, it is now...don't forget it."

"I won't, don't worry."

"Mer, are you two ok...after that argument...that night...I don't want to ...well you know, I'm not being nosy, I just...it was important...and I hope you've talked."


"We've talked...we still have some things to work on, but we're working on them, and Lexie, he's been so amazing...wonderfully supportive, I could not have...couldn't have done this without him..." she said softly.

"I'm glad...so glad the two of you are ok..."

"Lex...having you...and Mark and Kathleen, it's meant a lot...we both needed you."

"I'm sorry...sorry it had to happen. But, Mer...I'm glad you let me help...even if just a little."

"You helped more than a little," she said and kissed her cheek, "you have no idea how much it has meant to have your support ...since that night...the night you first drove me home."

"That feels like ages ago..."

"It does...I wish...I wish, so much I had known I was pregnant...I don't know how I could be so stupid, Lexie, I'm a doctor, I should have known, and I would have tried not to be so upset...to do things differently...Derek tells me it would not have made a difference...but Lexie, I don't know...if I would have taken better care of myself..." she said and Lexie saw her eye mist with tears.

"Meredith, you know that's not true...what happened, there was no way to prevent it...Mer, from the beginning, even when you did not know it...there were signs...that something wasn't right, it wasn't your fault, these things happen, and as doctors most of the time we can't explain it...please don't do this to yourself."

"That's what Derek and Kathleen have said."

"They're both right," she said as her pager went off, "I have to go, it's Cristina."

"Lex, I'm glad I got to see you this morning, we'll be back in a couple of days, well, back at work in three days, it worked...with the days I was already scheduled off, and these days...it worked...to be off and not back so soon."

"Meredith, try to relax...take your mind off things...I know it won't be easy, but he's trying so hard, he really wanted to take you somewhere where you could..."

"Lexie, you know where he's taking me...tell me..."

"No...I don't know...really, I have to go..."

"Lexie..."

"Fine...I know, but I'm not going to tell you...it's a surprise, and he really wants you to enjoy it...Mer...just go with it...he wants to take care of you."

"I can see where you are always going to be on his side," she pouted, hoping Lexie would talk.

"Meredith...that fake pout doesn't work...and I've told you before...whenever I'm on his side...it's because you're going to be happy...enjoy your time away, he put a lot of thought behind it."

"Ok...just tell me...when did he plan it?"

"You can wait...and ask him..."

"Lexie, come on...that won't give it away..."

"Ok...while you were taking a nap, yesterday, at Kathleen's we went online and it was just what he had in mind, I wish I was going..."

"Where is it?"

"It's not that far...only about..." she paused, "you...you ...cheat...no, I'm not telling you anything else," she said and got up and walked ot the door, "Mer...he really loves you."

"I love him too. I'll see you in a few days."

Once Lexie left his office, Meredith went to sit at his desk and turned on the computer, smiling as she entered his password. First she decided to check the same websites she'd consulted about her pregnancy and now read about miscarriages, and decided she'd call to make an appointment with Dr. Cameron, then she went to check her emails, and was shocked to see one already from Mrs. Shepherd, along with many that had remained unread far longer than usual.

Meredith, dear,