Ineffectual Fists

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Meredith and Derek walked out of the hospital holding hands, and though the sadness they felt the last time they walked out these doors lingered, today their loss has become more bearable after they walked out of the room of a little girl he had been called upon to save, and they had been destined to meet.

"Hey," he said, as they reached the passenger door, "do you want to grab a bite to eat at Joe's?"

"We could," she said, knowing they had to get back some normalcy in their lives, whatever that meant for them.

"Or, we could go home," he said, noticing the tired look in her eyes, "I'll cook something for us."

"Let's go to Joe's," she said, and kissed him softly, wanting him to be distracted and stop worrying about her all the time, "we haven't been there in a while."

"You're sure?"

"Yes...and everyone will probably be there, but, I admit I'm tired, so we just won't stay long, ok?"

"Ok," he said, and opened the door for her.

The last time they'd been at Joe's some of their friends had been expecting them, unlike this evening, but then also, their hearts held a secret shared with very few of a new life they had created and the joy of anticipating the birth of an unexpected yet much wanted child.

She remembered their last evening here and took a deep breath as he held the door opened for her, and she felt the palm of his hand on the small of her back, and drew strength from the knowledge and security of the love she knew he felt for her, and from the experience they had just shared in Kelly's room and subsequently his office.

"Dr. Grey, Dr. Shepherd, we've missed you, first shot's on the house," Joe told him as they neared the bar, "same as usual?"

"Thanks Joe," Meredith said, "same for Derek, I'll have a glass of sparkling water, with a twist of lime."

"What?" Joe asked, "no alcohol?"

"I've been under the weather...I'll take you up on it next time we're here," she smiled, as they walked over to a table where Lexie and George sat with their group of interns.

"Hi Mer, Derek glad you're here. You all can close your mouths, you know she's my sister...and well, Dr. Shepherd ...he's...I can call him Derek."

"She means that he's going to be her brother in law," they heard Cristina's voice.

"Xena 3," Derek laughed, "not possible."

"What are you laughing at?" Mark asked coming to join them.

"Take what you can get," she said and glared at him, causing him to laugh again, "and just because you're ...well, she's already said yes, whenever you get around to it."

"Oh, we're back to that again," Mark smirked, "I still stay, two years, right Mer" he winked.

"Ask Derek, all I know, is it's going to be a surprise," she smiled.

"I'd say...it's going to be a surprise, and yes definitely within two years," he said and kissed her, unaware his voice carried louder than expected and a group of gossipy nurses nearby would have their own interpretation of the evening's events over the next few days.

They spent the next hour enjoying the company of friends, and several people stop by and said hello and that they'd been missed around the hospital, while Meredith tried to gauge the relationship between Mark and Tracy.

"Stop that," Derek whisphered in her ear.

"What?"

"No interfering, Mark's told you already."

"You cannot possibly know..."

"I can...you've been watching them and I see that little frown that tell me..."

"Derek, you have to admit, he's spending a lot of time with her."

"Yes, and..." he stopped just as Lexie walked by and said something to Mark, and both laughed.

"What...what are they doing Derek, I swear if he so much as thinks..."

"Weren't you just concerned over him and Tracy, and now you think..."

"They have been flirting with each other, Derek, and he's not, I'm not going to let him play around with her, she's vulnerable you know, doesn't have a lot of friends here."

"Well...well," he smiled.

"Don't you dare make fun of me," she smacked his arm, and smiled.

"I find it endearing, I love you Meredith."

"Break it up you two," Cristina said, "leave that for later."

"Cris, get Lexie here," Meredith told her.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Oh...she's flirting with Sloan, and big sister doesn't like it."

"Stop joking about it, he's with Tracy."

"Three..." Cristina called out to her.

"Three..." Mark spoke up, "you're not going to respond to that, are you?"

"Tracy," Lexie said, "play along with me, Mer thinks I'm flirting with Mark."

"Uhmm, are you?" Tracy asked her.

"No. He's too old," she laughed, "really, Mer needed a little lightness."

"Really, Dr.Sloan," Lexie told him and winked at him and Tracy, "you keep talking about perfect techniques, but...from what I've seen and heard..."

"That little..." Meredith said and got up.

"Lexie, I have to tell you...as far as his techniques are concerned," Tracy went along with her, not fully understanding what had happened with Meredith, but knew it had deeply affected Mark.

"Lexie," Meredith said standing next to her sister, "Derek wants to talk to you, will you join us?"

"He does..." she smiled, "sure..."

"So...Derek, you wanted to talk to me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he smiled.

"Derek," Meredith scolded, "tell her...tell her she can't play with fire where Mark is concerned, you're going to get burned, he's too old for you, and he's seeing Tracy, and you can't... well you just can't...he's a manwhore."

"Mer, what if he turns out to be the love of my life?"

"WHAT?" Meredith and Derek said simultaneously.

"Gotcha!"

"Lexie, you are so going to pay for that."

"Mer...we all agreed...to play a little, it doesn't mean anything, and I got to see a bit of that bossy Meredith my brother in law keeps talking about..."

Derek felt the vibration of his phone and looked at it and smiled, it was Kathleen.

-Absolutely perfect

"What are you smiling at Derek," Meredith asked as he typed something back.

-ok getting it tomorrow
-when are you leaving?
-sat morning she does not know
-ok keep me posted
-yes thanks

"Kathleen, she asked me for something," he replied.

"You are lying."

"You don't know that."

"Show me."

"What," he said as he erased the last text messages.

"The text messages."

"No."

"See you're lying."

"It's got to do with those four initials..."

"Oh, forget it," she said irritated, and turned her attention back to lecturing Lexie.

"Mer, can I go now..."

"I'm telling you..."

"Mer...remember that morning, you said you hadn't seen Derek...and then he answered...and you made me believe I'd stood you up, and he was right there the whole time?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just got you back...I'm only kidding Mer, really, Mark," she said quietly, "is definitely too old..."

"You remember that...and planned..."

"No, Mer, it was just a coincidence, but it was too good to pass up, I have an excellent memory ...photographic in fact."

"One more thing to know about you, I guess," Meredith told her smiling.

"Yes, and if I ever have any feelings, you know..."

"Lexie," Meredith warned.

"Oh Mer, it is good to see you like this...and not..."

"I know...it does feel good."

"Can I go now?"

"Yes, Xena," Derek responded having listened to the exchange, and agreed with Lexie, it had been good for them to stop at Joe's, she needed the change.

"Enjoy the rest of the night Mer..."

"Lexie," Derek called out to her as an afterthought, "do you have a passport?"

"Why?"

"Just wondering? Do you?"

"Yes," she smiled, "why?"

"Yes, Derek, why would my sister need a passport?"

"I didn't say she did, I just asked a simple question," he smiled.

"Derek..."

"Meredith...it's just a question."

"You told me," she said quietly, "that you would not be asking her to plan...our...our..."

"I remember exactly what I told you," he said and kissed her, "and that has not changed."

"Ok," she said and rested against him and closed her eyes briefly, giving in to how tired she felt in spite of the good time she was having amongst friends.

"Damn," she heard Tracy say, "look what the cat dragged in."

Derek looked up and saw Rose walk in and join a group nearby, and felt Meredith stiffen in his arms, and did not know what to say or how she would react.

"You're quiet," she said.

"Would you like to leave," he said, and felt her take a deep breath and then relax against him and turn her face to look at him.

"She knew you and I were together, and in spite of that took advantage of your, shall we say...stupidity...that's what Bailey would say mind you..."

"What would you say," he asked her.

"In spite of your stupidity," she repeated and he laughed, while their friends allowed them the privacy it was evident they needed as they sat speaking quietly in the booth.

"I deserved that," he agreed.

"You deserve a hell of a lot more than that, you idiotic, brainless, moron... but who's keeping track of all that..." she said seriously.

"Accepted," he said.

"In spite of all that," she said softly and quietly so no one else could hear, "or maybe because of it, you and I are here now, and I have no doubts...none whatsoever that you love me, and that if you could, you would change what happened between you...and because of this, I can stay, and if I need to...if she dares to think she can ever come between us again..."

"She can't...Meredith...she can't...you have my word, nobody can."

"If she tries...I will..." she smiled, "I'll let Cristina bring her down, or have Izzie go cage fighter on her," she said and laughed.

"I'm sorry, Meredith, for hurting you like I did."

"And...to finish her off..." she said, looking in his eyes, "these so called ineffectual fists are going to grab her and pull her by that stupid ring and chain she wears around her neck, and choke her," she said in a serious tone, "for daring to even consider challenging me again."

"You haven't forgiven me, have you?"

"Maybe there's a little hurt left, so next time I say, no sex...remember why..."

"Meredith, I am sorry, and I told you, if I could change that, I would," he said and she heard the repentance, and longing in his words, "and I'll wait as long...as long as you need."

"Derek, I love you, and there is a little hurt left, but I won't...I won't be using that against us..." she said reassuringly, "I love you...and I know you love me."

"I do..." he said quietly.

"I know," she said, and reached for his hand "as I love you."

"Thank you," he said.

"For what?"

"Loving me...in spite of all I've done to screw up...to hurt you."

"We're going to have a lifetime Derek, that's all that matters," she said sincerely.

"You're not going to hold this, and so many other stupid brainless things I've done over my head..."

"Oh, I didn't say that," she smiled, "that...Derek, that is going to be the fun part..." she said and laughed, and he loved the echo of her laugher, "when you least expect it," she teased.

"I guess that's a small price to pay," he said in a serious tone.

"Derek," she said, looking deeply in his eyes, "I'm teasing you...we're moving on, we've talked about these things...most things...and we move on...I'm not saying there may not be times we don't bring some things up, but, what I want for us...what I want does not include hanging on to past misunderstandings...ok..."

"I'm going to try Meredith, I'm going to really try not to be so brainless...and stupid..."

She giggled, "now, that, I'd like to see..." she joked with him, "but, they're some of the many things I love about you...so, let's agree that I will point them out to you each time."

"I can live with that," he smiled, "I think."

"You can...because, I'm sure there are things you will point out to me too."

"Not if I value my life," he teased, "with three Xena's and cage fighter Izzie."

"I love you Derek."

"I love you too," he said and drew her closer to him, and their friends watched the scene before them and understood the challenges they'd faced had been met, and they would be able to handle anything that came their way.

"Shep," they heard Mark say, "how about a game of darts?"

"What's the catch?"

"Winner dates one of the Grey sisters," Mark said when he walked over and only he and Meredith heard him.

"Mark Sloan, you are dead meat," Meredith challenged, "this game is between you and me, I set the stakes, and you and Derek play."

"Really, and what's at stake?"

"Bestman...and godfather..." she said quietly and purposefully.

"Forget it, stakes are too high, I won't risk losing either of those," he said.

"Mark," she said, "you better stop flirting with Lexie, or else."

"Mer, we've been pulling your leg, honestly, Tracy was in on it."

"That better be all it is," she said not quite certain how she really felt about it. There were sides to Mark Sloan, she was beginning to think were not that bad at all, except he really was too old, for her sister.

"Meredith..."

"Uh huh..."

"What are you thinking," Derek asked.

"You mean you don't know."

"I'm almost afraid to know."

"Uhmmm...they are going to be godparents..."

"Meredith..."

"I'm not going to meddle...I'm just...thinking...Alex may suit her better."

"What is this, you've become a matchmaker now?"

"She needs someone."

"She'll find that on her own," he said.

"Uh huh..."

"Meredith..."

"What?"

"You're not going to..."

"Derek, I can't believe it, I wasn't thinking before, but she's moving in with George, and that...well...that may not be the best thing Derek...she's lonely and vulnerable, and doesn't have a lot of friends here and George ...well, I don't... Derek...I just don't see her with George."

"Ok...you need to drink...you're scaring me."

"She's my sister Derek, I have to look out for her."

"Yes, well, that does not mean you interfere...with her... "

"I can too...give her advice ..."

"I was going to say... with her sex life..."

"Oh...well, that ..."

"Meredith, let's go home."

"You think that's going to shut me up?" she raised her brow at him.

"I hope so," he said as he shoved her a little and she got up from her seat, and extended her hand to him.

"Let's go home Derek," she laughed as they walked over to the pool table area to say good night to their friends, but not before he got suckered to a game of darts, the stakes to which were acceptable, loser paid for the next round of drinks and Mark did.

"Told you," Mark whispered to Meredith, "I knew the stakes would have been too high, I had the feeling he'd win."

"Why is that?"

"No sex Grey," he laughed, "that's when he's best at this game, all that pent up..."

"You ass," she laughed, and swatted his arm.

"That's good to hear Grey...really nice to hear your laugh again."

"Mark..." she said, giving him a hug, "he would have lost, if you'd accepted my stakes..."

"You think?"

"I know...because, you losing, neither Derek or I would have let that happen."

"What are you two talking about," Derek stood by them and asked.

"The stakes...for bestman...and godfather," Mark replied.

"Oh...that...she'd never have let me win..." Derek said.

"You told him to lose?" Mark asked her.

"No, he just knows you are the best man for those two jobs," she said, linking her arm through Derek's.

"But, still not good enough for your sister," Mark teased her.

"Good night Mark," she said, leaving a look shock in his face.

"You did that on purpose," Derek laughed as the walked out of Joe's.

"What?"

"That last comment, Meredith, the look on his face."

"He deserved it, he's been playing with that all night," she said smiling as they walked to his car and drove to her house.

"I didn't realize how tired I was," she said when he joined her in bed, "it's not even ten o'clock."

"Dr. Cameron told you, you could expect to be tired, for a little longer," Derek said, "you should hve told me earlier, we could have come home.

"No, it was a good idea Derek, going to Joe's, I enjoyed it, it worked out...all that happened tonight, it worked out."

"It did," he chuckled, "the look on Mark's face when we left and you didn't say anything else to him about Lexie, him speechless was priceless."

"Derek..."

"Oh here goes..."

"It's too bad he is so old."

"Meredith, I'm beginning to get a bit concerned here."

"Why?"

"We're the same age."

"Derek, don't be an idiot."

"I get that you love me," he joked.

"I'm seeing this other side of Mark...one he tries to hide."

"Meredith, stop thinking," he said and leaned over to kiss her, before bringing her close to him and holding her in his arms.

"Derek, you didn't tell me about your conversation with the Chief."

"We had a very good talk, with Miranda too," he said and they each exchanged the conversations with Miranda, and he told her most of his with Richard.

"Derek," she said as she laced her fingers with his, "Kelly's a really special little girl, I'm glad you were there that day to operate on her, to save her life, I think that was meant to happen."

"I think you're right," he said, kissing the top of her head, "we...we couldn't do anything for our little girl, but...Kelly..."

"I think our baby is very proud of you...of her Daddy, and she chose Kelly, to be her own little angel and let you know that, that she knows you saved her life."

"Brianna," he said, "our little angel Meredith, in spite of our loss...we were given that gift."

"Isn't it funny Derek, how Kelly spoke about her, like she's really seen her...seen an angel."

"I'm sure she has," he said, "and your dream, what my Dad said, there's no way...no way it was anyone but him," he said, his voice filled with emotion.

"Derek, I think even though I couldn't...she couldn't be with us...I think we were meant to have her...those few days," she paused and pulled back from him, laying on her side face to face with him, looking deeply into his eyes, " she ...our own little angel forever Derek...she made me realize that dreams could come true, and I loved her from the moment I suspected I could really be pregnant, and to remember the day she was conceived and truly understand how very much I loved you...she gave us hope and made me believe we could have it all..." she stopped, and he wiped the tears from her face, "she brought faith back to my life...and I know now that not matter what happens, you and me...we are worth fighting for."

"Meredith, no matter what happens, as long as I have you...my life will be complete, but I promise you, I will do all I can...to make your dreams of a family come true...whatever it takes...and I think Brianna was meant to give us that...bring back a little bit of that faith maybe we had both forgotten."

"Derek..."

"Uhmmm..."

"We're going to have it...they will come true, my dreams...you asked me, remember that night...to take it all on faith..."

"I remember..."

"It's my turn...to ask you..." she said, as she leaned in and kissed him, making him believe that nothing would ever get in the way of their dreams again, and as he often did, he had a feeling that the worst had all been put behind them.

They lay in each other's arms, each filled with faith, that their dreams had just began to unfold as they fell into gentle slumber. This night, neither questioned the familiar and beautiful whisper of an angel, but simply took it on faith, smiling, and both would have sworn they heard, "I love you lots...Mommy...Daddy."

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