(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

My heart...for always

"Derek..."she whispered, "oh, God...Derek..." she said, and unable to speak, she allowed the tears to fall freely, unashamedly revealing her emotions.

Finally, opening her heart to him. Completely.

"Hey, come on...you're supposed to be happy, not these tears," he said as he reached for her, and cradled her face in his hands, softly kissing away the tears and then placing his lips on hers.

Finally, allowing him to lover her.

"I am...I am...happy tears..." she said, kissing him back softly.

"Promise..."

"Promise...they are..." she said, while the tears kept flowing.

"I love you Meredith," he said, mesmerized by the love reflected in her eyes, their lips almost touching.

"Tonight...Derek," she paused, swallowing softly before continuing, "I give you my heart... you've already saved my life..." she said, and he could feel the soft words, the gentle breathing upon his lips, "but now...now...I give you my heart...for always..."

He felt the muffled sob on his lips, and then the gentle pressure of her lips seeking his and their tears and lips intertwined, sharing the kiss of two lovers sealing the most powerful vow of all...the promise of forever.

"Do you...Meredith...do you have any idea how much that means to me...and how unworthy I feel that you would trust me...trust me with your heart."

"You've trusted me with yours...and our baby's heart..." she said, and reached for his hand, placing the necklace in his open hand, and placing her hand over his, cradling the two hearts between them, she whispered, "Derek, now, our hearts...yours and mine...our baby's...we're one...for always..."

He was moved beyond words, as he gently squeezed her hand, "for always..." he whispered holding back tears, as they stood lost in the reflection of each other's eyes.

"Derek, I know...I know how much I hurt you, last night..."

"We don't have to talk about that...not now..."

"But I have to."

"Ok," he said, their hands still joined.

"I want you to know...that no matter what happens, from now on, no matter what...you won't have to worry about me again...like last night...Derek, I'm ashamed...deeply ashamed...and tonight...I promise you...Derek, I give you my solemn vow...that you will never have to worry about me...like you did last night...like you did..." she said, and he could see she was getting upset.

"Meredith...it's ok, it's over..."

"No, it's not. This is just the beginning, and I will deal with it...I will... but last night, what I said, what I made you feel...you never have to worry about that again...like you did..." she choked back a sob, "the day I drowned."

"Meredith...I know that..."

"No...no you don't...he told me, Derek...he told me...of the day...when I drowned."

"I'm sorry...so sorry, he...Mark should not have said anything."

"But you're wrong...he should have, and I'm glad...so glad he did..."

"There was no need..."

"There was...because now, we can begin to heal...we need to deal with all those issues...and heal...before the baby ...before the baby is born."

He smiled, and indulgent smile.

"What..."

"Nothing."

"Derek..."

"Meredith..."

"You're supposed to...to... be nice... and it's not good to keep secrets...and make me upset."

"I haven't been nice..." he teased, "and keeping secrets is making you upset," he said, and kissed her, and could feel her smile on his lips.

"Yes...it does...and it makes the baby upset..."

"It does...and you know that...how...the baby talks to you...kicks...already..." he joked, as he placed his hand on her stomach, "aren't you the one keeping secrets now?"

"Oh, Derek," she said, as she removed her hand from his and took the necklace and placed it carefully in its box, "I love you so much," and put it back where he'd had it, in his jacket for safekeeping, "you can help me put this on at home, I don't want to risk dropping it here, there's hardly any light."

"So, what's the baby telling you now," he teased.

She quickly circled her arms around his neck and hugged him, and then pulled back and brought her lips to his, and they got lost in the ageless mating dance of tongues sharing a soulful kiss.

"We...we should...stop," he said.

"Sorry."

"Don't be...but we have an audience."

"Oh, no...now Kathleen will think she got a glimpse of the slutty intern...and tell your Mom...and Jenna...and Derek, they'll think that Nancy is right...and...I'm ..."

He laughed, "Meredith...she's not going to think that."

"Derek, you are laughing at me...seriously...you're sister will think I'm just like Nancy said...and... you're ... laughing at me..."

He kissed her to stop her ramblings, "she already thinks you're wonderful, and she knows how much it meant to me to have some time alone with you and give you that gift."

"Did you tell her?"

"No...I wanted to...but we'll wait...we can wait to tell her..."

"Derek...if you want...after...the doctor's appointment...we can tell her."

"Really," he said, as she noticed the sparkle in his eyes.

"Really."

"Thank you..." he said and embraced her, " thank you."

"Mark knows...and I really want to tell someone else...I want to tell Lexie..."

"Not Cristina?"

"Lexie will be happy...not so sure about Cristina, and Derek, I don't want anyone saying anything negative about our baby."

"Mama Bear..."

"You're calling me a bear..." she said raising an eyebrow.

"Meredith, it's an expression."

"I would think....you would not want to remind me of bears on this particular spot."

He laughed, and lifting her off the ground twirled her around, "I love you Meredith."

"Derek...don't...it...it..."

He heard the panic in her voice, and stopped, holding her gently.

"What..."

"Dizzy...makes me dizzy."

"I'm sorry...I wasn't thinking..."

"It's ok...I'm ok... now."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said as she leaned in to him, and then swatted his arm, "and don't divert the subject again," she laughed, "bears are a very sore subject."

"I love you," he whispered against her lips, and both laughed.

"Let's go home, I'm starving, and we've given Mark and Kathleen enough to talk about."

"Speaking of..." he said, as they started to walk back, "what did he do now?"

"Derek, he is incorrigible...in the OR he ..."

"Well, you two decided to join us, Shep, we could have stayed behind, rather than watch the two of you make out."

"We're ignoring you...but, I do want to know why Meredith thinks I may want to kill you."

"She was joking."

"No I wasn't," she said as they all began to walk to Derek's car.

"Grey, you wound me...all the while, you thought I was your knight..."

"Her knight...really...do tell...Meredith..."

"So...my favorite DM....you were right..."

"Mark..."

"What's he talking about?"

"Nothing, he's just being Mark."

"You throw me under the bus... and now, I'm just being Mark..."

"Guys, what does your favorite DM mean?"

"Dirty mistress."

"Mark!"

"What, you know that's your nickname, our club."

"How could you..." she said, and they all heard a catch in her voice.

"Grey, I'm teasing, really, just kidding."

"It's not nice...I mean...it's not...Kathleen, she doesn't know me...and now..."

"You're in for it now," Derek told him, as Meredith got in the car, and Mark had opened the door behind the driver's seat."

"I didn't do anything..."

"You convince her...I just went through that...nice...well, it's is a new state of mind."

"Oh... you mean...hormones."

"I guess," Derek said, and both men laughed.

Kathleen noticed the change in her mood immediately, and tried to draw her out during the short drive to the trailer.

"Meredith, how do you put up with this overgrown child all the time?"

"It's not easy, and if he's not nice...I just may change my mind about ..."

"Grey, you cannot change your mind...I am your bestman...and...now..."

"You talk too much," she said, while reaching for Derek's hand, "I'm re thinking it."

"You are not," Mark said with enough doubt in his voice for her to smile, and felt Derek's gaze on her, and smiled back.

"It's going to be up to Derek, I mean... I already told him, he may want to kill you. It may be easier to take back your bestman position."

"Fine, that's the last time I stand up for you," he said, and got out of the car pouting.

They all were out of the car, and Derek was by her side, "I think he took you seriously."

"I was."

"You were not, you're enjoying taunting him."

"Yeah, well, wait till I tell you about the OR..."

"I think I want to hear this now..."

"Let him tell you, there's a slight bit of humor. Come on, let's get dinner ready, I'm starving."

Mark and Kathleen sat in two of the chairs on the deck, then Meredith and Derek walked up hand in hand, and she went over to Mark, and stood in front of him.

"Listen, you big baby," she said and smacked him on the head, "I'm kidding you."

"You are."

"Yeah..." she said, and whispered, "my knight," and heard Mark roar with laughter, as she walked in the trailer to join Derek.

"Mark, you were right about her."

"Which part?"

"Wanting to protect her."

"Derek," she said, as she came up behind him and put her arms around him, "can I help?"

He turned around and hugged her, "you want to help with dinner?"

"I can...I can do something."

"Uhmmm..."

"What...I can help..."

"Guess...uhmmm... domesticity goes hand in hand with mommy..." he teased.

"That's not funny," she said, suddenly serious.

"Meredith I'm teasing you."

"Well, it's not funny, because you know...I'm not...I don't have any of those domestic or mommy qualities....so it's not very nice for you to make fun of me..."

The red flag was up again, when he heard the word 'nice', which tonight seemed synonymous with mood changes.

"I'm not making fun of you...and you can help...you can help bring all of this out," he said as he pointed to several containers and a bottle of wine.

"Derek..."

"Yes..."

"Hormones are a bitch," and threw her arms around him. "I'm sorry."

"I love your hormones...and the reason for them..."

"Our baby..." she said.

"Our baby."

"Derek, will you put my necklace on?"

"I'd love to," he said and took the necklace out the box and placed it around her neck and fastening the hook, and then kissed her neck, and worked his way to her mouth.

"I love you Derek, thank you...for this...I'll treasure it always."

"I just...just wanted something special..."

"It's very special."

"What...are you thinking?"

"You can tell..."

"Always..."

"You're going to have to help you know...with everything..."

"I'll help."

"Derek, I mean with everything...every step of the way...because...well, I'm not good with babies...Derek... I've never even held a baby...except, well, when I've had patients, and it's not that many, but never...never really held a real baby."

"You mean, you've held a fake baby," he said, unable to resist joking with her.

"You ass."

"I love you too."

"Yeah...I love you too."

"So, about this fake baby you've held..."

"I meant...like patients Derek, they don't count...I've never really cuddled a baby," she said, and his heart broke for the longing he heard in her voice.

"You weren't around babies... that's ok... I had no choice, with my sisters all having them by the dozen..."

"You'll help me...with changing diapers...and baths....and feedings...well, not feedings, not for a while..."

"You're not going to let me feed the baby?"

"I'm going to breastfeed Derek...you can't do that..."

"No, I guess I can't....I'll wait for bottle times," he said, amazed at the changes in her.

"It's ok, I mean...that we wait...it's good for babies you know...breastfeeding."

"I know...and no, of course I don't mind, and yes, I will help with everything."

"Did you hear that...baby...we may have to remind your daddy of that at two in the morning sometime," she said and kissed him softly.

"Grey, Shep what's taking you guys so long, we're hungry."

"Let's feed our oldest child," Derek told her, as they began to carry everything outside.

The steaks were on the grill, while the four engaged in amiable and pleasant conversation that continued throughout the evening. Kathleen paid close attention to Meredith and her reactions, and to Meredith and Derek together, and she felt a tugging at her heart and smiled.

"Ok you two, time to spill the beans...what's with the knight, and why am I going to want to kill Mark?"

"Suffice it so say...I was definitely her knight in shining armor today...and Grey was right..."

"About what?"

"That you wouldn't like it..."

"What are you talking about," he said defensively.

"Exactly that....that you don't want anyone to be her knight...or like that she called me that..."

"That's...crap..."

"That's the truth, my friend... only the truth...anyhow, Meredith was in my OR, and
I had to reprimand a nurse..."

"Mark!"

"What, who's telling the story..."

"Not...that..."

"Listen, Kathleen's a big girl, and she's going to hear it anyway, but let's just say, Derek was an ass, and about two weeks ago decided to break up with Meredith."

"Mark!!!" they both exclaimed.

"Cut the crap, and let me tell the story."

Meredith was mortified, and ready to retreat, when Derek got up, walked up to her, and extended his hand to help her up, and then sat down and brought her down to sit on his lap.

"Long story short...they broke up, he asked this nurse out to dinner..."

"Derek...you didn't..." Kathleen commented.

"That's what we all thought..."

Meredith buried her head on his shoulder, and whispered, "it's ok...really, I'm ok with him telling the story."

"You are?"

"I am."

"Look at them Kathleen, they're not even listening to me..."

"We are too."

"Fortunately, he came to his senses right away, and they've spent the last two weeks getting back to where they needed to be all along."

"But..." Kathleen said.

"The nurse has been a bit difficult, and has created a couple of scenes, including a drunken on last night, so I asked Meredith to join me in surgery this afternoon, and it happened she was there, and I implemented a new policy in my OR."

Derek groaned, "what did you do?"

"Banned her. No one allowed in my OR within twenty four hours of being inebriated."

"Your knight...I agree...he was... I agree... why would I want to kill him?"

"Wait till you hear the rest."

"Shep won't mind this part."

"Derek, he made us the center of gossip again, and I would want to kill him, if I were you."

"I defended her honor, and then...I let everyone know...in subtle ways..."

Meredith snorted, and felt embarrassed, "subtle...not in your life."

"Maybe not...I happened to mention Mer would become Mrs. Shepherd...and that I was definitely best man at the wedding."

"You called Meredith Mrs.Shepherd?"

"Absolutely."

"And Meredith didn't kill you then?"

"She couldn't... I let her intern scrub in, and Lexie..."

Derek laughed, "you are laying it on thick..."

"She keeps threatening to take my...roles away...and bestman... I know you'll defend me Shep...but....when it comes to...god...well...she may not let you decide...if I piss her off."

"I think you're safe...for now...I don't want to kill you..."

"Grey, I told you, he wouldn't."

"Derek, he practically told everyone we're getting married..."

"We are... you said so yourself."

"But...what if.. I mean... you could...you could change your mind..."

Kathleen laughed, "it will be a cold day in hell when that happens," she said, and watched them closely.

"You don't mind?"

"No...do you?"

"Not really, but he started a betting pool."

"He did what?"

"Betting pool...two years he said."

"Two years," he laughed, "Mark, you set out to lose the bet."

"Guess I owed you," he said and winked at him, "and had to throw them off, for my
real bet," he commented and they all laughed.

"Derek, I want dessert, I'm dying to eat a piece of that cheesecake."

"I'll get it," he said and started to get up.

"No, just wanted to let you know I'm going to get us all dessert," she said, getting up, and looking back at them, "by the way, do you have a camera?"

"Yeah...why?"

"I may not be telling them where I've been, but once they find out I was here, if I go back without taking some photos of you...and Meredith, and your...home...they're going to kill me."

"It's actually on top of the table, as you walk in...I charged the battery earlier."

"Mark, want to help?"

"No."

"Get off your butt and help me," she ordered, and he did.

"Kat, you're too damn bossy."

"What's going on with those two?"

"What do you mean?"

"There's something...and you know about it...all those looks between them...did they elope?"

"No...and I don't know what you're talking about..."

"You can't keep a secret Sloan...and you know it..."

"Care to bet on it? "

"You're on...$ 100 dollars...you wont be able to keep it quiet...I'll know before I leave."

"Not from these lips."

"You're on," she said, and gave Mark a tray with four plates to carry outside, and grabbed the camera.

"Kat, you look like the cat that swallowed the canary," Mark commented as they sat down and ate dessert, Meredith and Derek in a world of their own.

"I'm happy to be here," she smiled and noticed Meredith reaching up and touching the hearts on the necklace Derek bought her, and the two became lost in each other, and oblivious to their surroundings, he brought his hand to rest gently on her abdomen and smiled, and then kissed her softly.

Without them being aware, she snapped a picture and then another, unaware she was capturing a moment that would live in their hearts forever, a moment of happiness that could be taken away unexpectedly.

"Kathleen, close your mouth, you'll catch flies," Mark said as he watched her changing expressions.

Derek and Meredith looked up, and found themselves being closely scrutinized by her.

"Meredith," she said softly, with a smile forming slowly and turning in to a grin, "how far along are you?"

"What..." she heard all three others exclaim.

"You're pregnant," she stated smugly.

"Mark...you promised..." Meredith turned to him.

"I haven't said anything... not a word....I don't know what you're... what she's talking about."

"He didn't...in fact... I just bet him one hundred dollars he was keeping a secret and would not be able to keep quiet... but I lost... he did not say a word."

"Meredith..." Derek said quietly, concern in his voice, "are you...are you ok..."

"Derek..." Kathleen said, "you...you didn't know," suddenly feeling horrible for opening her mouth, maybe he didn't know... but, not, it wasn't possible, he knew.

"It's ok," Meredith said against his lips, "tell her."

"No more secrets, you two..."

They both smiled, and Derek told her, "Kathleen, you are going to be an aunt, again."

She was out of her chair immediately, and standing in front of them, bent down to hug them.

"You're pregnant," she said, full of emotion and hugging her tightly and kissing her check, ant then, kissing Derek as well, "my baby brother....is going to be a dad..." she finished with tears in her eyes.

The four adults shared a moving and emotional moment, as Kathleen went over to Mark, now standing, and hugged him. "Congratulations...you're going to be a godfather," she said, and both had tears in their eyes, "a wonderful godfather."

"What's wrong with this picture," Derek joked, Meredith still in his arms, "you congratulate him and think he's going to be a wonderful godfather...what about us...
you don't think we're going to be wonderful parents," he commented, while gently caressing Meredith's stomach, now that he had nothing to hide, he delighted in the pleasure of touching her.

Meredith smiled at his caress, and his protectiveness, placing her hand over his.

"Derek, he needs all the positive reinforcement we can provide, we're talking about Mark...as godfather..."

"Hey, I resent that...I'm going to be a hell of a godfather."

"I guess you're right," Derek joked.

"Grey trusts me...right...Meredith...you trust me..."

"I actually do...I trust you with our baby..."

"Did I just hear you..."

"Derek...you know he is...my brother in law is going to be a very special godfather..."

Meredith had little family experience, but at that moment, familial bonds began to expand and take root in her heart. Whereas Lexie was now a constant source of support, at this moment, she allowed herself to trust....and embraced the feeling of being part of his family.

"Derek, Meredith," Kathleen said, "I have no doubts, this baby will have the most wonderful parents in the world."ss