(Shattered...) Dreams Fulfilled

Weekend Pleasures

Meredith snuggled safely in his arms, the light snores a comfort to him, as they'd settled into the spooning position that had been a favorite for so long. Things, he thought as he simply held her, might be getting back to normal and relished the moment, the once rest disturbing snores now symbolized their lifetime commitment, as they lay together every night. Likewise, it was a reminder of how close they'd come, because of him, to losing it all.

Weeks before the renowned and oftentimes cocky neurosurgeon had met overt disdain; none more so than from those she considered her family, over the last break up incident between him and Meredith, and the entire hospital had apparently been privy to the fact that "McDreamy" had feet of clay. He'd been angered at first, that their private life continued to play a protagonist role in the rumor mill, but part of him had been pleased that there'd been more support for Meredith, and he had immediately recognized it was entirely up to him to redeem himself.

The break of dawn still distant, Derek reflected on the emotional journey that led to this moment over the last six weeks, and softly lay his hand on her abdomen. Sadness, unexpectedly and suddenly overwhelmed him, preventing him from silencing the sharp intake of breath. The last several weeks he'd been there for her, determined to be her strength, his own feelings tucked deeply away, trying to do all we could to make her happy.

Meredith stirred, somehow, alerted of the sudden change in him, and opened her eyes and noticing the still darkened skies glanced at the red glare reflecting three forty seven. Without saying a word, she placed her hand over his and lifted it higher as she entwined their fingers.

"Derek," she said her voice groggy and quiet, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he answered too quickly, and kissed the top of her head, "touch of jetlag. It's early get some sleep."

Meredith squeezed his hand gently, "no avoiding. Remember..."

"I'm not," he squeezed back gently. "You don't need to be up for a couple hours."

"Derek," she said softly as she shifted to look at him. "I can feel your emotions too."

"I'm fine," he said without meeting her gaze

"No, you're not," she said, and gently caressed his face, the prickly stubble emphasizing the early hour of the day.

"I'm fine..." he avoided her gaze still.

"Hey," she said, and cupped his face, kissing him softly. "I love you."

"I know."

"You know," she said, choosing her words carefully, she wanted him to open up, not to create any anxiety that she doubted him, "and you don't love me back...you're not going to tell me..."

"Of course I do," he immediately met her gaze, "why would you think that?"

"Derek, I have no doubts that you love me...but, I also have no doubts that something's made you sad. As you held me, I could feel something's made you feel that way."

"Mind reader," he attempted to tease.

"Uhmm," she said and her words surprised him, "more like the certainty...of two souls...truly in sync...for a lifetime."

He smiled, at how much she'd changed, that she'd even admit or think that way, "I love you Meredith Grey."

"No mocking me," she leaned in closer to him, "about mushy...sentimental..."

His gaze did not leave hers, "I was thinking, how lucky I am to have you," he paused, "how lucky I am that you forgave me...after all I..."

"Ah..." she said, and brushed his lips, "that's not allowed," and then again, "we agreed Derek, that's all behind us...no more brooding..."

"I'm not..."

"Derek...we forgave each other...we've been there for each other...we've helped each other heal...we made a commitment," her gaze remained intently on his.

"For always," he said, and kissed her softly.

"For always," she whispered against his lips.

"I didn't mean to make you sad," he told her.

"You didn't. But you were...and...when one of us needs the other...that's what it's about...our marriage."

"When did you become the mature, level headed ..."

She smiled, and then laughed, "are you implying you're mature and level headed?"

"Of course," he kissed her again.

"Of course," she smiled and deepened their kiss before pulling away. "You owe me something..."

"I do?"

"Forgetting...so soon..." she rolled her eyes at him, "and I though sex slaves were..."

"You said I wore you out," he teased, "that you needed a couple hours..."

"It's been more than that," she taunted, and pressed her naked body against the length of his, "and I'm going to be gone forty eight hours."

"Insatiable..." he smiled, "another word to add..."

"Derek," she caressed his face, "you just used up one of our daily quota..."

"Daily quota," he joked, "for sex?"

Her laughter filled the room, "seriously...sex quota twice a day...Derek we broke that record long ago," she smiled.

"Uhmmm...you mean the misunderstanding bit...I jumped to conclusions..."

"Yes..."

"I still have yours," he teased her.

"Oh no," she teased back, "you can't use mine."

"Mer..."

"Yes..."

"Now that we're married, we kind of share everything."

"Marital assets...about misunderstandings," she laughed, "I can live with that."

"I'm sure you can, since you're the one that usually..."

"Derek, don't push your luck," she told him with an obviously fake glare.

"I love you Meredith," he told her, knowing she'd interpret it exactly as it was meant.

"Derek," she whispered seductively, "make love to me."

"Your wish," he smiled as he kissed her, "my lady," he paused, before kissing her again, "is my command," and his lips captured hers and he complied, as they lost themselves in each other and the ecstasy of their surrender echoed through the walls of the house where they'd first come together, a house that had become a home.

"Meredith," she felt his lips softly on hers.

"Uhmm..."

"You need to get up," he said, and kissed her again softly.

"Why?" she grumbled.

"Because it's six ten in the morning and your shift starts at seven, and before you go you need to eat breakfast."

"What," she said in an almost panic, "I'm going to be late...why didn't you wake me earlier," she glared at him as she began to rise out of bed.

He pushed her back gently against the pillow and kissed her, "you have time for a quick shower and breakfast, which I'll cook while you do that, and then I will drive you to the hospital."

She smiled, "Derek..."

"Your wiles won't work on me this morning Dr. Grey," he teased as he nibbled on her lips.

"Care to bet on that," she taunted him, playfully biting the side of his neck.

"No," he said, "cause I'll lose," and they both laughed as he helped her rise from the bed and watched her walk across the hall to shower.

"So," Meredith began to say from the hallway, as she made her way to the kitchen, "what does a sex slave do for breakfast," she finished and heard Derek choke on his coffee.

"Sex slave. Dude, Sloan is right, you're really whipped."

"That's cute...Mer...sex slave...thank God we weren't here last night," Izzie said.

Meredith began her ramble, "what are you doing here...you said you'd be away and Derek why didn't you tell me, you just saw me and told me to come for breakfast and what if I'd walked in here totally naked. What would you have done then..."

"Relax Mer," Alex said, "we just walked in, Shepherd didn't know."

"Mer, it's not like you guys haven't been in here naked when we've come home before, I mean we did fill the cookie jar with condoms again," Izzie said.

"Ok..." Meredith said, "that's it...enough...you have to stop talking about our sex life...that's just...it's...just wrong, Derek, say something."

"You're right," he said as he handed her a cup of coffee, "you all are."

"What?" she said, "whose side are you on?".

"Alex's right," he smiled, thinking humor may be the best way out of the situation, and hopefully his tactic would result in no more prying. "I'm whipped. I'm her slave Izzie, I'll do whatever she wants," he paused, "whenever she wants..."

"Derek," Meredith reprimanded.

"Derek," Izzie said, "really..." she made a face in semi disgust, "TMI...we won't say a word. We can be discreet," she insisted, "really."

"Good, because if you don't, if you're not," Derek warned, "you can start looking for new living arrangements."

"Dude, you can't do that...we're her roommates."

"I'm her husband."

"Mer," Izzie said, "you'd kick us out?"

"I'm just the wife," she went along with Derek, and winked at him.

"Cristina's right," Izzie said, "you two...are disturbingly...mushy and..."

"Iz," Meredith interrupted her, "agreeing with Cristina is not going to earn you any brownie points," as she reached across the table and squeezed Derek's hand, "not with my husband."

"Sugar overload," Alex said, "I'm out of here."

"Wait," Meredith said, "why are you here? Aren't you working?"

"Off today, pick up forty eight hour shift tomorrow."

Meredith was finishing her scrambled eggs, "Iz, do you mind getting me the gift bag by door in the foyer. Alex don't go, I've got something for you."

"Sure," Izzie replied and was back within a minute.

"We didn't really spend a lot of time shopping, but wanted to bring something back for each of you, since you weren't there and we wish you could have been...not much... just a small token."

"Meredith, we have to leave for the hospital in exactly ten minutes, give them their gifts."

"You really didn't have to," Izzie said. "Mer, we knew you were on your honeymoon."

"We wanted to," she said, "it's not a big deal..."

"Mer...unlike you, " Izzie smiled and said in her usually bright excited tone, "I love surprises," and accepted the thin colorful package as did Alex.

"We also got you chocolates, in Switzerland, but there were eighteen boxes and Derek refused to carry them, so we had them shipped."

"Finally standing up to the wife," Alex snorted, as he opened his own gift, "proud of you Shepherd."

"Mer," Izzie exclaimed, "this is beautiful," she said as she glanced at the silk scarf, "it's exquisite."

"We learned that Como is one of the most important silk producing regions in the world, and I thought you'd like this...we weren't very creative about what everyone got..." she was excusing the fact that they bought everyone the same type gifts.

"It's beautiful," Izzie said and reached over to hug her. "It will always be special that you even thought about bringing something back while you were on your honeymoon."

"She's right Mer," Alex said in an unusually sincere and non wise cracking tone, "it's really nice," he said as he looked at the silk tie, "it will be for a really special occasion one day."

"He really loves her," Izzie mumbled when Meredith and Derek had left.

"Yeah," Alex agreed. "I think he does. She deserves that," he said, while a palpable tension filled the room, as the two glanced at each other, unwilling or unable to admit that they too shared feelings that neither was willing to explore.

The first hours of her forty eight hour shift set the tone for the rest. Chaos. Multiple accidents kept the operating room busy and it was not until late in the afternoon Meredith and Derek literally ran into each other as she turned the corner of a hall.

"Hey," he said, "if you wanted to see me...all you had to do..."

"Thank God, that was you," she said and wrapped her arms around him. "Horrible day," she said and hugged him closer, "lost three patients, a little girl who was six years old."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, uncaring that they were in the middle of a very public hospital corridor. "Did you have to tell the parents?"

"No," she sighed heavily, "before I got a chance to get there, the mother coded and the father spent a few hours in intensive care before we lost him. Drunk driver caused an accident involving four cars."

"Are you okay?" He hugged her tightly before he reached for her hand and began walking. "Have you had lunch?"

"No...haven't had time, it's been so hectic."

"Let's go then, you need to eat."

"Derek...I can't...I have interns running around and ..."

"You can. Because if you don't, you're going to be running on fumes, and you won't be providing the care that is expected and I know you demand of yourself. No arguments."

"Fine," she agreed. "I am starving."

"Let's get something and eat in my office," he said.

"Ok," she smiled, allowing him to take care of her, accepting he would always want to do that, and she was finding that she didn't mind, and she too wanted to take care of him.

"Want dessert?" he smiled, when they had finished eating lunch. "We have tons of chocolates."

"The boxes arrived," she smiled.

"They did..." he said and got up to grab a box and place it in front of her. "I figured you wanted to give them out yourself."

"Maybe we should do it together," she smiled, as she savored a piece of chocolate, "now that we share...assets...and things," she laughed.

"Mockery Mer..." he teased her, "that's in the past."

"Oh yes...but not the sex," she said just as he placed a chocolate in his mouth, and almost choked.

"Shit, Mer...what are you trying to do to me...kill me..." he said after he stopped coughing, "this morning...and now..."

"Oh..." she said, as she got up and went to his side and put her arms around him. "I'm sorry...I shouldn't tease you about sex..." she said seductively.

"Damn right you shouldn't," he said, "unless..." he began, whispering in her ear.

"Dr. Shepherd, you're making me blush," she batted her eyelashes at him.

"I love you Meredith," he laughed.

"So do I Derek...so do I...and...you're going to have to live up to those..."

"Tonight," he whispered in her hear, "wait till tonight."

"Are you forgetting I'm here all night?"

"No."

"Derek..."

"Meredith..." he smiled, leaning in to her.

"Find me later?"

"Count on it," he said and kissed her before she had to leave.

He managed to time it perfectly and met up with her, bringing one of her favorite dishes for dinner and being realistic she told him to go ahead and distribute the gifts, as she did not know when they'd have enough time to do so together, and she rather their friends get their gifts. She did, however, tell him she'd give George his tie and that she'd love to be there when Miranda got hers and Tuck's.

Almost at ten that night, beyond exhausted, Meredith was able to finally find an on call room and lay down. She had no idea how much time went by before she felt Derek's embrace.

"Derek," she whispered.

"Hope you weren't expecting someone else," he said, "but how did you know it was me?"

"I could never confuse you with anyone else," she cuddled closer.

"Good...cause the things I'd plan for us," he said, joking with her, as he knew all she needed right now was to rest, and he'd been determined to be there. Spend the night at the hospital, in fact, to make sure she'd get some rest. Just as in the morning, concern for her was the driving factor. They were not talking about it, but he was still worried about her and would feel better after he had her appointment with Dr. Cameron and he could confirm that all was back to normal with her hormone levels and physical well being.

"You remembered ...this morning..."

"I did," he said and caressed her lightly, reverently, "that's why I'm here."

"Derek..."

"Yes..."

"I'm exhausted."

"I know you are, and I'm going to be here all night," he kissed the top of her head, "whenever you have a few minutes and can get some rest, I'll be right here."

"I'm sorry...I'm just exhausted...jet lag...and this killer day, and these interns do such stupid things...and I need some sleep."

"Meredith, I'm here because I did not want to spend the night away from you, and wanted, needed just to hold you...we have all weekend for everything else," he said, and felt her body succumb to sleep as she whispered I love you.

During the next hours of her shift, they managed to distribute all their gifts. Chocolates to the Fab 4, Richard and George loved their ties, but most of all, they each loved the gesture. Miranda was uncharacteristically emotional when after being delighted with the silk scarf, they gave her a gift for Tuck; a hand carved miniature wood fishing pole they had found at the market in Lake Como. Cristina, as did Izzie, loved the wooden combs.

Derek spent the second night of her shift working late and sleeping in an on call room, while his wife joined him for a few hours during the middle of the night.

"Derek," she whispered upon his lips at nearly seven o'clock Saturday morning.

"Uhmm..."

"My shift is almost over," she waited for him to acknowledge her, "do you want to get a couple more hours sleep here or should I change to go home?"

"Uhmm..." he mumbled, "come to bed."

She kissed him softly, "you promised I could have uninterrupted sleep...in our bed...after this shift."

He reached for her, "you will," he said, now fully alert. "How long before you're ready?"

"Ten minutes," she said, but saw how tired he looked, "but you know...we could sleep here for a couple hours before we drive home."

"I slept almost all night," he told her, "we'll go straight home."

"I love you Derek," she smiled.

"I love you too Meredith."

She fell asleep almost as soon as he drove away from the hospital, and when they boarded the ferry he decided to stay in the car and unbuckling her seat belt pulled her into him, holding her against him during the crossing. They had breakfast at a favorite spot when they disembarked, and when they got home, she showered and dragged herself to bed.

"Derek..." she called out to him.

"Yes..."

"Are you going to join me?"

"You mean, am I going to sleep the day away with you?"

"Yes...but...later...I hope we won't be sleeping," she said saucily, though he could see the signs of exhaustion.

"I'm going to run a couple errands in town, and when I get back...I'll join you."

"You didn't tell me...what..."

"I'll be back in an hour," he kissed her. "Now get some rest."

Two hours later, after having accomplished his goal, he joined her in bed; his hair still wet from his shower, and wrapped his arms around her. The two nights of uncomfortable hospital beds had taken their toll, and he too was soon claimed by exhaustion.

The smell of something burning woke Derek. Shit, he thought, Meredith must be cooking. "Meredith," he said, trying not to sound overly concerned.

"Hey," she said, approaching the bed, "you're awake."

"Something smells like it's burning..." he said.

She smiled, "and you assumed it was my cooking...that I was burning something..."

"No," he lied.

"Liar."

"I'm not..."

"You are. But, you're right," she scrunched her nose. "I put some pasta to cook, and came back to bed, and forgot. Noodles burned."

"Ok."

"But, I did manage to heat the meal Lexie left in the freezer when we first got back from Italy," she smiled, "so we actually have lunch."

"That's good."

"What, no jokes about my cooking."

"You weren't actually cooking...and anyone can forget and burn something..." he smiled indulgently.

"Oh, Derek," she smiled, and cupped his face with both hands before leaning down to kiss him. "I really...really love you."

"I really...really love you too."

"Are you hungry?"

"Meredith..." he raised an eyebrow.

"I meant food," she teased.

"That too..." he said and pulled her into his arms, and it was a long while before they had lunch, one which required reheating.

"Let's eat outside," he nuzzled her neck, as they lay in bed. "I'll call you when everything is set up."

"Derek, I already set the table inside..."

"I'll do it, you just stay here...I'll call you when everything's ready..."

"Derek," she said, detecting he was up to something, "what have you done?"

"You'll like it...trust me..."

"Uhmm..."

"I'll be right back," he kissed her, and got out of bed and began dressing.

"Ok," she smiled, "I'm beginning to like being served by you..."

"Mer," he glanced back at her, exchanging their look, "the slave only applies to sex..."

"And I wouldn't want it any other way," she laughed and got out of bed as well.

"Mer," he said, shortly after that, "lunch's ready, join me outside."

"What have you done Derek Shepherd," she spoke as she exited the trailer, and grinned.

"What do you think?" He called out to her, as he was a bit of a distance away, he too grinning from ear to hear, like an eager young boy excited to please with his gift.

"I love it..." she said, rushing to join him and wrapped her arms around him. "This is what you were doing earlier?"

"It was," he smiled. "Do you like it?"

"It's wonderful..." she said, as she looked around and saw the two teak lounge chairs with weather resistant cushions that he had placed under a copious tree canopy.

"Kat was right, there's nowhere comfortable in the trailer, and I thought this would be good, we could sit here...and teak's great for outdoors and if it rains it won't matter, and we can always replace the cushions, and we won't be stuck in the trailer all day..."

"Derek..." she smiled, and silenced him with a kiss, "you're rambling."

He chuckled, "guess that's catchy too..."

"Thank you," she smiled, and held her hand out to him, "join me," she said, and led him over to one of the lounges, "let's try out if two fit comfortably together?"

"That was one of the requirements," he smiled, and sat down first and then pulled her down gently, and her body rested comfortably against him.

The rest of the day was spent leisurely lounging outdoors, enjoying the bright sunny day, and they exchanged message with his sisters, all three back east thanking Meredith for their gifts, since Kathleen and Kevin had returned that week and they were all having dinner that evening. They also communicated with Carolyn, and Meredith specifically gave her details of their wedding celebration at Joe's and told her and his sisters they'd email photos of their wedding later, which now included the recent celebrations.

Early that evening they drove to town for what Meredith would later joke, was their first grocery shopping experience as husband and wife, and that for the sake of their marriage, they should make out a list in advance.

"Mer, we can't just throw things in the basket, especially all junk food."

"Derek, you've shopped with me before."

"Yes...but..."

"But what..."

"I couldn't really tell you what to buy then...it was for your house..."

"You did not just say that..." she glared at him.

"What?"

"Because we're married you can tell me what I have to buy..."

"That's not what I meant...only that before, if we shopped it was usually for your house...with a kitchen and pantry...and the trailer...it's small..."

"Oh..." she smirked, "I thought you meant..."

"Uhmmm...that's one of your quota..."

She laughed, and uncaring that they were in the middle of a grocery store, briefly wrapped her arms around him. "Good save...Dr. Shepherd."

"I love you Mrs. Shepherd."

"Even better," she hugged him tightly before continuing with their shopping. "You know, now that the chief is gone, maybe we could use his trailer," she smiled, "for storage."
They laughed heartily, and after they were finished enjoyed dinner at a new restaurant before returning home.

Relaxing in bed, they spent the rest of the evening looking through the wedding pictures Lucia had sent, as well as the disk with the photos of their trip, and reminisced about each moment that was captured. It took all evening and most of the morning hours before they were done, as poignant memories lead to urgent and other times tender lovemaking.

"Derek," Meredith said as they enjoyed the outdoors, and yet another beautiful sunny day, lounging lazily on the new chairs, "you know what I'd like..."

"Uhmmm..." he teased her, "ice cream...a massage...sex slave," he said and they both laughed.

"Let's go to the cliff...look around...talk about house plans..."

"You want to talk about house plans..." he said, as he nuzzled her neck, his lips lingering, making her entire body tingle with his touch.

"Yes..." she said softly, "it will take time...to build a house..."

"It will," he agreed, hugging her closer to him, shifting her body slightly to look at her face. "We can start...if that's what you want."

"I was thinking," she said, a bit uncertain, "if we're there...the actual site, walk around...we'll get a better feel for things...where everything goes..."

"It will...and we can go, and pick the best view for the living room...and the kitchen...that should also have a nice view."

"Derek," she teased, "did you forget who you married?"

"I'll spend time in the kitchen," he laughed, "and who knows maybe our kids will like to cook...and one day the house will be theirs..."

"I don't think they'll want it," she said, "since you're going to live to one hundred ten...I'm sure they'll have their own house by then."

"Smart ass," he chuckled.

"You know what's important," she said locking gazes with him, entwining their fingers.

"What?"

"The room where our kids will play..." she said, and he felt a lump form in his throat. It was healthy he thought, for their emotional healing, to talk about it.

"Yes..."

"And their bedrooms," she continued melancholically, yet with a serenity and anticipation that reflected gentle and tender excitement at the possibilities, and his heart swelled with pride at her emotional strength. She'd been through hell; in fact admitted to a terrible childhood, and then lost their baby and yet now he could feel each word she uttered was another moment of healing. "Their bedrooms," she continued.

"How many bedrooms," he asked quietly.

"Well...at least three for the kids, you know...like in my dream, but one of them can be the nursery...close to ours. It doesn't have to be that big...right...for a baby and when they outgrow it I guess that can become a playroom upstairs too...or something," the depth of his love for her had never been stronger as he listened to her talk of their future family.

"And what about our bedroom..." he whispered.

"A fireplace," she smiled.

"And the balcony...secure so the kids can't get there..."

"You remembered..." she said.

"Every detail you've talked about."

"Derek..." she said, surprising him, "are you happy?"

"Of course...I'm happy..." he caressed her face, "can't you tell? Haven't I shown you...let you know every chance I get?"

"You have," she said, "but sometimes I feel as though I've been so dark and twisty...and all these thoughts and doubts and fears threaten to overwhelm me...and I know...I haven't always made you happy," she said. "I distanced myself...avoiding," and thought of her drowning, the upcoming therapy sessions, and wasn't able to continue as she became emotional, and biting her lower lip looked at him, refusing to avoid, but afraid she might see disappointment reflected back at her.

"Meredith," he said softly, cupping her face, kissing the lone tear in the corner of her eye away, "you have always made me happy...being with you...your presence has always brought joy to my heart...and I've had my share of making you unhappy...of being dark and broody...and stupid...but, the moment I can look in your eyes, the moment when I hold you in my arms...my life becomes complete...and as you said...it's not about the sex...it's about the moment afterward...and the moment before...and moments like this...all of them...all of them with you in them...make me happy."

"Derek," she said, her voice filled with deep emotion, "can we promise each other one more thing..."

"Anything..."

"If we ever forget...forget all you've just said...I have those same feelings Derek...if we ever find ourselves taking each other for granted...or becoming unhappy...or if we're angry with each other, we'll remind each other of this moment, and so many others...that we'll always love each other...love each other enough not to forget that all we need is each other."

"Promise..." he said, and reverently caressed her face.

"Seal our promise," she whispered softly upon his lips, "with a kiss?"

"For always..." he said, and tenderly kissed her lips, and then the unbridled passion that never failed to consume them forced them indoors, and while the bright sunny day became momentarily cloudy, the two married lovers, undoubtedly destined to share a lifetime, basked in the happiness of their first pleasure filled weekend at home.