Irkens Cant Love (Zim x reader)

32. Morphic madness intrudes

(Thanks for your patience guys!! I'm barely clinging to my sanity but heres chapter 32!

You guys are such warriors  for putting up with my inconsistent schedule. I salute you!!😩👊)

"You can do this"

"I cant do this..." I spoke, looking towards zim with worried eyes and plea for help.

We were hanging out at the park when we saw Lori across the field along with her younger sister. The two were occupied on monkey bars and far too focused on their own little games to have seen me or Zim. However, said irken was encouraging me to go and talk to her.

I was hesitant as to be expected, completely paralyzed with fear. The last time I saw Lori was when she was in tears, sitting on her bed and asking me to leave. I refused to move a muscle as Zim attempted to push me forward, skidding my feet against the floor.

"You have to talk to her!" He exclaimed, continuing to try and shove me in her direction.

"I'm not ready to talk to her!" I stated right back, all whilst attempting to not draw attention to myself. Especially from Lori.

Zims eye twitched in annoyance and frustration. The irken had been very eager to get Lori and I talking again and was prompting me all week. I appreciated it but he needed to stop.

He took a long and dramatic sigh, putting a hand to his chin. He seemed lost in thought and focus as if contemplating on another method. There was no doubt in my mind that he was thinking hard. The grimance on his face told me as much.

My mind drifted from him, looking across the park and trying to figure out what I was doing. What's wrong with me?

I should probably just talk to Lori sooner than later, but the worry was eating me up from the inside. I would look Lori's way and find an uncomfortable twist in my stomach, like the acid within it wanted to melt its walls and disintegrate me along with it.

I would look at her and all I could see was the upset frown she gave me. The tears. The depression.

But the worst thing was that I didnt want to feel guilty.

After some contemplation I really wished that she hadn't confessed. It felt too selfish to say out loud but it wouldve been better for us both if she didnt attempt to kiss me. Maybe we wouldnt be having this fight.

But I couldnt blame Lori completely. I let it continue and I shouldnt have.

It felt worse knowing that we shared our first kisses for something that meant nothing.

I wasnt ready to confront this. I wasnt in the right state of mind. I'm not sure even Zim could change my mind.

"Maybe you can take another approach, Y/n" suggested the irken in front of me.

He snapped me out of my thoughts, giving him a look of confusion and watching his ego shoot for record heights. He held his hands on his hips, chin raised high where he stood.

"What kind of approach?" I questioned, already knowing I'll regret it.

"Why dont we see if she'll go to you?" He suggested with a thumb directed towards Lori at the back of the park.

I wrapped my arms around myself unsure, backing away from the small alien anxiously. My fingers started digging into my arms, gripping the fabric of my top tightly when I did.

"I dunno, Zim..." I trailed of, peeling my gaze away from him and directing it towards the grass below me.

My gaze remained on the grass for as long as it could, avoiding any further communication with Zim in Hope's that he'd let it go. But hoping for that from the most stubborn irken in the universe was almost impossible.