Step to You

THIRTY-SEVEN

"What happened?" I asked, taking her to sit on a bench just in the corner.

"He took my call, but he didn't speak or make any sounds," she gripped my hand, "can you check it if he's sick or what?"

"But---"

"I know he would listen to you," she said and handed me a paper bag. "I have cooked japchae here, it's his favorite. Can you go in there, please?"

I nodded, "Sure. Van is important to me." We both stood.

"Well, I'm going. Just text or call me after."

"But I thought we'd both go?"

Jennie shook her head and smiled sadly, "I have something to do. I'll talk to our manager. You can do it. Okay?"

"Okay. I'll just give you a call," I waved at her. Afterwards, I went to Van's door and pressed the buzzer. He's not answering. I took my phone and began to dial his number when the door opened. "Van!"

He's not looking as brightly as he usually is. His hair is a mess, and I think he lost weight.

"Are you... Are you sick?" I asked and stepped in.

"No, I was just..." He is staring at me. "Rose Anne..."

"Have you eaten? I--Jennie gave you this," I showed him the content of the bag.

He just nodded then went inside. I followed him to the kitchen. His apartment is really suitable for a guy living alone. I could see two rooms, then a living room, and the kitchen and dining room set in one. Van took two bowls and began transferring the food.

"Where's Jen?" he asked after a while. The food is spilling from the way he transfers them to the bowl.

"She told me she's meeting your manager," I took the bowl and spoon from him and continued putting the food in. "Are you sure you're not sick, Van?"

"No. I am not," he turned his back. "You can leave after that."

"But---" I approached him. "You can tell me what happened. What's wrong?"

"You can't do anything about it, Rose Anne. Just..." he faced me, "just go."

I bit my lip. It's not like Van. Seeing him like this makes me really worried.

"I'll leave after seeing you finish a bowl of food," I said and sat on one of the chairs. I could see Van is avoiding my eyes, "Are you perhaps... mad at me, Van?"

He sat down opposite me. "No. I'm just... It's just that..." He stared at me, then ate a spoonful of the food. "I'm sorry, Rose Anne. I'm just really... hurt."

"Why?"

He smiled which did not reach his eyes. I know Van. He is one of the happiest persons I know.

"Van, please tell me. If I can help you, then---"

"It's you, Rose Anne. It's you who's making me hurt like this. And I'm... I'm sorry. I know you don't have any fault at this, but I'm just..."

I held his hand. "What is it? Why--"

"I saw you." He bowed his head down, "I saw him kissing you."

I was too surprised to say anything. I just looked at Van with my mouth open. The moment he looked up at me, I turned to look away.

"I'll just sort this out, then I'm going to be back," he held my hand. "Don't think it's your fault, Rose Anne. I chose this. I chose to love you. So, in any case, I am the one at fault. But then again, I don't consider I was ever wrong at loving you."