Gazing in the Mirror

March 28 - The Heart's Invitation

Please remember that letting go
of 'my will' is not a new demand.
It's not something that anyone
must do. It's simply an invitation,
an exploration, what happens when
we begin to let go of 'my will'.
When we begin to let go of
my argument, with what is,
right now, right here.
~ Adyashanti

True imagination is not fanciful
daydreaming; it is fire from heaven.
~ Ernest Holmes

As I was reading the March 2013 Science of Mind magazine Daily Guide for this date written by the Rev Jane Beach, I definitely felt some alignment. Here is what she said – "In the fall of 1998, I was in a workshop when someone asked, 'What would you do if you could do anything you wanted and be guaranteed success ?' Without thinking, I wrote 'I'd change careers.' Then I gasped ! How could I even think of leaving my teaching career ? All I ever wanted to do was teach children. I didn't tell anyone what I had written, but I also didn't forget about it. That question was clearly the work of Spirit, planting a seed of possibility. By the end of that school year, I left my twenty-year teaching career, and everyone thought I was crazy. ... That was the beginning of my journey to becoming a minister; I was being led toward a career that makes my heart sing. I've never been happier !"

Once there was a little church alongside in the larger town to the north of us. It has been for sale for a long time. At the time, it pulled at me and I wondered "What does it want me to do ?" There were times, when I was driving around that town and  I would notice houses with attached "spaces" that seem independent with their own door. I would think 'how perfect they would be to sit in spiritual counsel with people'. These were of course simply waking daydreams that Spirit was sending into my heart in response to a deep yearning for something. I never acted on them nor did I reject or resist them but I would "sit" with them and ponder. There are some aspects of these yearnings that I may have identified – financial independence, doing work I feel drawn to do and sharing with others processes that have made me personally a happier person.

I never was really certain that I wanted to pursue these. The thoughts were persistent although they were never insistent. I look upon them today as reminders that Life is full of possibilities. I am basically contented with the "way" that my life is right now. I cannot imagine how what is presently my reality would segue into such radically different visions. I have a deep trust in some of the concepts that the Rev Michael Beckwith embeds in me each week as I watch his Agape livestreamed Sunday service. I am open and receptive to whatever is trying to emerge without knowing even "how" to do it. I know that the best way for anything to change is with grace and dignity. I trust that if it is important for me to really do any specific kind of work, I will be compelled into right action. Spirit will order my steps and I will be guided in a language that I will not fail to understand. In the meantime I simply wait to see whatever is coming next . . .

Certainly consciously "waiting" keeps manifestations from solidifying into reality. We are to treat and move our feet. Yet we do not have to act on every fleeting idea that arises in our visions. My family needs me. I wonder why then am I drawn to a location "away" from home ? I can think of some reasons. For one, my husband does not share my spiritual perspectives. Therefore, if my work was going to be "spiritually based", then it might be more comfortable if I wasn't "local". More importantly, the town to the north is larger, less conservative and more progressive. There are yoga studios and health food stores. There was once an organically-minded farmer who would bring some of his produce to my yoga class. I believe that there would be a greater demand for whatever I could possibly offer to other people in that town, rather than anywhere here in my own sparsely populated county. And there is always the remote possibility that my marriage might end somehow, though I don't think it likely as we have weathered some pretty serious bumps in recent years. If I had to move away, I would still want to be close proximity to my sons. I would certainly make every effort to be in harmony with my need to continue to parent.

Though the economy has impacted our business since 2008, we somehow continue to fulfill orders.  For many years, I have worked with my husband.  It has been part of what has kept us close and bonded. He is a pessimistic optimist. He is always more worried about the present and future than I tend to be because of my lifelong spiritual experience. Even though he sometimes entertains thoughts of the "worst" things happening, he is always optimistically hoping that they won't occur. He simply feels more secure if he considers how he might cope with whatever troubles him. At the moment, the Coronavirus troubles him a lot and I am the only one actually with exposure doing our weekly grocery shopping.  I have worried over the years that he might despair or become depressed but he has no history of that - thankfully. I try to keep him calm about things to whatever degree I can. He lacks my unique understandings about manifesting good and abundance into our lives. I feel however that his worries do have a definite effect. Thankfully his life is always VERY full of activities related to our farm (he has more projects to do than life to do them in !!). This is a good thing because it productively occupies a lot of his "thinking" time.

My message from the Universe today said – "By the way, we've patented the whole life-self-discovery-thing-in-time-and-space on your behalf, Deborah, and the royalties have been utterly divine. Not quite sure how to thank you, but how about a new first book published for starters?!"  I am happy that I spend 3 or 4 hours a day now in isolated seclusion at my deceased in-laws cabin nearby attending to doing the writing that could fulfill this long held desire to be published.  These essays were an early effort in that direction, towards that dream. I have thought in the past that I would like to offer workshop sessions like those so common at many spiritual conferences. Maybe. Some day. I'm not certain that I "really" want all that. I know that being in online communities has provided me with opportunities to serve Spirit. I am happy and content simply with that role of responsibility.

~ perspective

I am open and receptive to
possibilities and Spirit sends me
ideas, but acting upon these or not,
is always my choice.
If a possibility presented to me
includes a very radical change from
how I am living now I go VERY slowly
with considering that idea and only
go as fast as the slowest part of me
is willing to go.
Even when the possibilities that are
presented to me seem a bit "out there",
my resistance to them or caution
regarding them is never an indication
that I believe myself "less than
adequate" to express them.
I receive a deeper sense of security
when I realize that there will always
be possibilities that will yield financial
support for me while also providing me
with a deep sense of gratification.
There is a total willingness within me
to experience change that is balanced
with my contentment with the way
things are at this very moment.

#change #contentment #daydreams #family #guidance #marriage #optimism #passion #purpose #yearnings