Gazing in the Mirror

November 15 - Aging And The Gift Of Wisdom

To know how to grow old is the
master-work of wisdom, and
one of the most difficult chapters
in the great art of living.
~ Henri Amiel

The children of wisdom look to the
inner, and not to the outer, for
justification. Wisdom knows neither
publican nor sinner, but is conscious
only of herself, though she may dress
in many garments.
~ Ernest Holmes

It snuck up on me unawares. Suddenly one day I realized it. I had become able to live within a state of wisdom. I won't say that I am wise. I don't really know "where" the wisdom springs from for certain though I do suspect that it comes from my soul, from the core essence that reached itself into physical incarnation when this human body was formed. There is a Goddess Archetype for wisdom called Metis. It is no coincidence that she is a Crone-Phase Archetype. She is also called the Goddess of Practical and Intellectual Wisdom. I believe that "practical" aspect is no coincidence either.

Though how this actually happened I really can't say for certain. I became aware of the non-physical "witness" within that is aware of my physically incarnated life. I became aware that this intelligence was somehow beyond ego structures and life experiences. This intelligence did not ever judge me a failure. This intelligence understood "all" that had ever happened to me and "why" I responded as I did. There was a sense of forgiveness in that understanding and a definite comfort. I began to be aware that when I wanted to know something this inner resource would fetch the answer to me in a language that I could understand. It might come as a sudden and complete understanding within my mind. It might travel through my fingertips as I typed out some thought, concept or belief. It might "show" itself to me in external cues. It knew the difference between forcing or making up an answer and what was true and good and supportive of the best outcomes. It does feel totally like a blessing in my life.

When I was just out of high school, I had married this man who I felt inexplicably drawn to - in spite of the fact that from our first date I was vexed and frustrated by him. I even said to my mom at the end of our first date that it was not going to work out. I married the guy and he used to tell me that I had lots of book learning (and I did effortlessly make "good" grades throughout public school and could have done even better if I had been motivated to) but that I lacked common sense. I am still uncertain that I was as lacking in common sense as much as he indicated I was. I was highly programmed by societal structures, even though I did passively rebel against my limitations and the "rules" that other people tried to constrain me with. I did a lot of very foolish things after that marriage ended but I had a very young child under my care, so that I am grateful she survived having me as her mother.

The beginning of wisdom for me may have been when I knew to leave the romantic relationship that came after that marriage. After I left that romantic relationship I found myself entrusted with a "responsible" position as an office manager but honestly I now know that I was not yet quite as responsible as my employer could see the potential in me to be. We hit a rough patch in our employment relationship and that was the end of that job. Then I entered into yet another romantic relationship that brought with it a new employment. As I began to truly understand my responsibilities for keeping revenues flowing into my life through this business we shared, I began to really take on the mantle of being a truly "responsible" person. I will admit my skills were still a bit uneven and at times I did fail but at other times I succeeded well.

I became a parent again and this time I had more maturity for devoting myself to that task, though I did find it very challenging as I had less patience with foolishness. I had the maturity to take upon myself more and more responsibility and I found more and more responsibility coming to me for my assistance – not just at home or in the business that I shared with my husband but also in the virtual world of more nebulous relationships. If I had to force wisdom to be possessed by me, I wouldn't be able to claim having any. Yet from somewhere very deep within me I am able to access the intelligence that is Divine Wisdom and it comes through whenever I need its perspectives or understanding.

I don't mind entering my Crone years. I don't mind realizing that I have reached a time of my life when I can harvest the experiences of a decently long life along with the genuine understandings and the valuable insights of wisdom that can be shared with others as a result of having lived Life fully. I find this a comfortable place to be existing now. I enjoy the calm peacefulness and acceptance of self that is within me now. At this point in my physical incarnation journey, I even feel confident that I can face "death". If I even consciously actually know that the time for leaving has arrived. I have also learned from experience that nothing has ever been placed upon me as a responsible person that I could not meet responsibly. I know that simply by taking the next logical step at any given moment, I can always make it through anything that Life can send my way.

~ perspective

I am comfortable with the accumulation
of years upon this physical body of mine.
I am grateful for the accessibility of
wisdom, understanding and insight at
this time in my Life.
I see growing older as a measure of
success and a proof that I have
successfully avoided an early death.
I do not mind "slowing" down, in fact,
I find that aspect of maturity delightful.
I enter happily into my own Crone years
with an expectation of harvesting all
of the experiences that I have lived
in one way or another.

#aging #behavior #blessings #comfort #crone #experience #intelligence #maturity #parenting #rebellion