Gazing in the Mirror

January 30 - Maturity

Wisdom implies a mature
integration of appropriate knowledge,
a seasoned ability to filter the
inessential from the essential.
~ Doc Childre and Bruce Cryer,
From Chaos to Coherence

The children of wisdom look to
the inner, and not to the outer,
for justification. We are over-concerned
with non-essentials, straining at gnats,
while swallowing mountains of superstition.
~ Ernest Holmes

Maturity is not an ugly word. It does not mean old or decrepit. It means fully ripe. It means ready to give the best of a long development into wisdom, discernment, understanding, patience, a capability to love generously and an understanding of what simply should not be tolerated. I notice a huge difference in my perspectives on parenting between a daughter I birthed in my early twenties and sons that I did not birth until I was in my fifties. I was more "the child" with my daughter but she suffered from my lack of maturity, irresponsible behaviors and self-centered desires. I could not have loved her more, I just wasn't fully prepared, was not properly developed or ripe for motherhood. Age is really not a factor. Some people never "grow" into mature human beings, regardless of age.

Mature wisdom often resembles good old common sense, which is efficient. In maturity we often understand the wisdom of leaving things undone, eliminating the non-essentials and as we age, a skill at these may help us to prolong the quality of our life. Listening deeply to another person often reveals Wisdom speaking to you in a subtle language meant for your understanding only and received only in the depth of your heart's connections to that Infinite Wisdom that is always accessible to each of us. We understand that someone who tries to hurt us is actually hurting and we are able to understand that without retaliation.

Maturity is actually an attitude. Even though we can sense an increasing maturity in our perspectives it is not an arrival but more accurately a point in a range of possibilities. There always remain more possibilities for growth even in maturity. There is a dignity to maturity that has relative control without suppression regarding one's emotional responses. We understand the difference between a thought passing through the tool of a mind and taking physical action to make that thought a real thing. We know that situations often "fix" themselves given a gift of patience and time's unfolding.

As I mature I find myself more courageous in expressing precisely my own perspective without fear or concern about whether anyone else shares that with me or not. A mature person is self-motivating and doesn't need someone telling them to do what they can easily see needs their assistance. Maturity is recognizing one's self clearly and understanding what can be changed and what simply is someone's natural expression. We have learned by now that anger rarely solves the real problem. Our heart is more open to listen and we understand the limits of our own intelligence more clearly.

I find it much easier to laugh at the absurd in life and even more importantly at that in my own self. I don't need to know anymore what tomorrow is likely to bring. I know that having a tomorrow is a gift of infinite worth and I'm willing to meet it on its own terms. Maturity does not mean that I can't play like a child with my children and yet I know when it is very important to be absolutely serious. I understand the interdependence of all life even as I am able to act ethically as an independent individual. While I still have many dreams and things I would like to accomplish without denying that such possibilities remain to be realized, I have begun to accept that these just may not ever become my reality.

In maturity the truths are easier to discern and the lies that many people accept as expedient seem unnecessary because we are willing to slow down and find the kernel that is truth and start there. We have seen through many of the deceptions we were raised upon for ease in family and society – not our ease – other's ease in conforming us to the status quo. We also often don't feel the need to argue our understandings because we fully realize the other person does not have enough life experience to be able to see what experience has given us the wisdom to understand. I would not give back the mature wisdom I have gained in return for regaining the unspoiled and unsullied beauty of youth. I appreciate my maturity.

~ perspective

Maturity is a calm peacefulness
with what is.
My path to maturity has not been
an even progress and I have wandered
here and there along the way.
The past and the present mix in me
as each day unfolds into the future
and I am one day closer to my
eventual death.
In the sunset of my life the colors of
every thing that happens are part of
what makes continuing to live interesting.
Forgiveness comes easily in maturity
because we have already been there
our self.

#acceptance #anger #attitude #behavior #dignity #emotion #limitation #patience #perspective #wisdom