Gazing in the Mirror

February 18 - Life Choices

Life is given to an individual,
so that the individual may
determine life for themselves
and what to do with It.
~ Mendy Lou Blackburn

Now there is not a power of
will, but a power of choice.
~ Ernest Holmes,
Science of Mind textbook pg 58

One of the most challenging situations that we are sometimes called upon to face in life is when a loved one has made a conscious choice to end their incarnated life. Many religions and many human beings see committing suicide as a sin, a failure, a fall from grace, and a lack of proper support from the other people in that deceased person's life. Friends and family do not always have warnings of how extreme their loved one's thoughts may be. It is good to err on the side of compassion and take such expressions of despair seriously. Yet it is not our place to forcibly make another person's decision for them, nor attempt to coerce a decision utilizing fear or guilt tactics. It is appropriate to discuss with such a person their thoughts, point out alternative ways of viewing the situation or even suggest to them that there is "no hurry" to make such a permanent decision. Time heals many wounds.

The Taoist author Deng Ming-Dao says of death – "We cloak it in meaning and make up stories about what will happen to us, but we don't really know." That is a practical perspective. Certainly my personal preference is to believe that conscious awareness is an eternal gift that goes through a variety of manifestations, expressions and experiences. I realize that it is simply my individual choice to believe that. I have walked alongside humans approaching that doorway of death that takes their spirit from bodily expression. It is humbling and does not necessarily fully answer whatever questions those of us left behind might have.

As regards conscious dying, is it compassionate to suggest that it is necessary to stick it out, through any degree of suffering, just so one can truly die a "natural" death ? Many people alive today and in some of our United States are beginning to consider respectfully that allowing an individual choice regarding their method and time of leaving is indicative of an evolving humanity. The choice to protest with one's very life as in the case of self-immolations or to sacrifice one's life for a political cause as in the case of the WWI Kamikaze attacks or current day suicide bombings.  These examples are also life choices with permanent outcomes.

Is it proper to intervene in another person's life ? Not only as regards providing support and encouragement for a person who is in despair and depression but in any of their personal autonomous life decisions. It could be argued from a spiritual perspective that if an intervention occurs then it was meant to occur. I know that my husband clearly feels such a right if my actions would impact the well-being of our family. I can't deny that he has a valid point. We are intertwined inextricably with one another. However recently while visiting my youngest sister I found it necessary to establish personal boundaries and autonomy because she tends to be domineering and persistently insistent that she has the best point of view. We each must pick our battles and chose whether to make a stand for our own ideals or remain silent but unwavering in our values.

Certainly that current time present moment expression of identity dies when a person makes their transition, regardless of whatever way they died nor the contributions they have made during their lifetime. It is like taking a snapshot. The identity is frozen in "time" and remains in the memories of those who knew that person (and that is extremely subjective and not a true representation of any person that has ever lived). Physical embodiment is a transitory experience whatever else it turns out that our soul may be.

Like it or not each individual has a degree of personal autonomy that can't be denied. However as caring and compassionate individuals there is another layer of autonomy that we can't ignore, a moral autonomy that considers the rights of other people and how our personal choices may have a direct or indirect effect upon other people. Though each person has their own moral standards, there is an overlap to our beingness where what we are becomes a "shared" reality with other people. As human beings we seem compelled to seek some degree (but never is it all that is possible) of realizing our WHOLE existence. To whatever degree we have not yet found our complete satisfaction that we have fulfilled for our own self all that there is available to us to experience as individuals, it may be possible that therein lies our own willingness to continue on with life, or not.

~ perspective

I take my time in deciding when
the choice I am considering
will be permanent.
The choice each day is what to do
with that allotment of lifetime.
I try not to base my decisions on
fearful "what if's" that may
never manifest themselves.
I am always aware regardless of
whatever presents itself that the
choice I make is mine to decide.
I value my right to make choices
because the ones I make are part
of who and how I am.

#acceptance #beliefs #boundaries #compassion #death #despair #fear #guilt #intervention #suicide