Gazing in the Mirror

October 8 - Loving Kindness

Everything is material for
the seed of happiness . . .
There always is the potential
to create an environment of
blame — or one that is
conducive to loving-kindness.
~ Pema Chodron

I believe in the Eternal
Goodness, the Eternal Loving-
Kindness, and the Eternal
Givingness of Life to all; for
I understand that the life
of all is God.
~ Ernest Holmes

How is LOVING kindness an expansion of kindness itself ? Kindness is the quality of being considerate, humane and sympathetic. The word compassion is often used as a synonym. The dictionary indicates that "loving" kindness is more tender and motivated by a feeling of affection. In my weekly visioning meditation yesterday, this combination of words came up for me and so I've been reflecting upon their meaning. I was thinking that it meant to try a little harder to be gentle and to go a little deeper into responses by allowing these to arise with love supporting them.

Like nurturing a garden brings forth great beauty or bountiful food, so loving kindness nourishes people. It doesn't take much to lighten another person's heaviness. No matter how good we are and no matter how much we seek to remain in joy and peace, the ways of the world and Life can be rough sometimes. Kindness is a human quality. I find the poetic language in this biblical quote beautiful – "And a man shall be as a hiding place from the wind, and a covert from the tempest; as rivers of water in a dry place, as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land" [Isaiah 32:2]. One really gets the sense of the intrinsic value of responding to other people. It is the only way that Spirit can "act" in this world.

My thoughts on loving kindness yesterday went first to my family. Could I be more loving when my children interrupt what I am already doing simply because they want the sun of my attention for a few moments ? Sometimes I am a bit grudging. Sometimes I don't really want to be interrupted. It is okay to ask them to wait a moment because that is good for their own development. But once I am free, could I actually bring more love into the kindness of ceasing my own activities while giving their activities more of my admiring attention ?

For some time now I've been practicing really listening deeply when my husband is talking to me. It is so easy to sort of acknowledge another person when they are talking to us without really listening to what they are saying. I think the difference matters. I think looking intently into his eyes and actually applying my discernment to his words allows whatever wisdom arises to inform both of us and that the additional effort is a valuable act of loving kindness. Sometimes it takes a lot of patience when another person's words seem too slow to reach their meaningful point in a conversation. Without patience, we want to "fill in" the words for them and to hurry up their delivery. We err if we actually believe that we know in advance what another person is going to say.

Loving kindness can buffer anger, resentment and criticism in ways that make hearing these harsh understandings a kindness of honesty without the sting of cruelty. In my minimal study of the Kabbalah I remember seeing the word "chesed". I don't always stop to look up such unfamiliar words but serendipitously today I discovered that this Jewish word as translated into English in 1535 by Myles Coverdale was written "louinge kyndnesse" – from which "loving kindness" was born. Metta is a similar concept in Buddhism. Loving-kindness removes the separation and the barriers between people. We may not be able to actually "love" all people but we can remove from our own self a layer of annoyance and seek within our self a neutrality in understanding the trials, challenges and unfortunate woundings that damage personalities.

I like offering "blessings" such as "may love return your gaze everywhere you look" and "may joy be your constant companion regardless of whatever else is happening around you". I think subtle changes in wording can make a huge difference. I've been practicing exchanging the common and habitual greeting of "have a nice day" (as though I have any right to demand such a thing of other people) to "I wish you a good day" (or evening or weekend). The day may or may not go well for that person but they can feel from my words that I wish them well regardless. I believe that in this manner, I may therefore not be a disagreeable interaction when sharing such a routine phrase with another person but instead deliver a blessing upon them.

~ perspective

I am able to feel a fond affection
for the human condition, therefore
I am able to witness suffering with
compassion in response.
I give my attention to those who
seek it – generously.
I exercise a calm patience in order
to understand what is being conveyed
to me by another person.
I seek the simplest and "best"
explanation for occurrences in order
to lessen a tendency in me towards
judgment and criticism.
I know that love is a great healing
energy that can be applied through
acts of kindness.

#Buddhism #Kabbalah #Metta #Compassion #Nurturing #Listening #Attention #Patience #Wisdom #Understanding