Gazing in the Mirror

February 19 - Nowhere to Go, Nothing to Do, No End in Sight

I am alternately frightened and excited
in my knowing that the larger pattern
I'm yearning to reveal will build itself
upon the shape I give this day.
~ Rev Dr Noel Frederick McInnis

We are all thinking, willing, knowing,
conscious centers of Life. We are
surrounded by, immersed in, and
there is flowing through us a creative
something... call it what you will.
~ Ernest Holmes

Lately it seems I've nothing left to seek for, discover or attain related to spirituality. It seems that way. When I do my weekly Life Visioning (thanks to the recorded guidance of Michael Beckwith on cd), nothing comes up as "trying to emerge". I feel so very complete at the moment and so there's nothing I want to read, no one I want to study with, no exalted state of being I am yearning for – not enlightenment, not ascension, not raising myself a dimension or two. Nada. I'm spiritually content with all that is.

Realistically I know there is "more" or at least it would seem that there must be. I don't feel as though I will be leaving incarnated life anytime soon but it could happen . . . and I would not feel I was 'robbed' of any life I should have had left remaining to me. This is not a state of depression or despair but rather a deep state of peaceful contentment – and the reason is not because I'm wealthy or enjoy perfect health or heavenly relationships, nor do I have the most interesting, stimulating work to do in order to earn an income. It is just an "empty" sort of feeling that is not devoid of simple happiness.

The quote from Ernest Holmes reminds me that the creativity of my being is continuing to "do its thing". Not MY thing really – It's thing. It's all around me everywhere present and so the forms will continue to emerge, arise and dissolve back into the void from whence they came. All is right with my world; and there just seems very little to say about it or comment upon. Even though without trying too hard I could easily wish my boys were a bit quieter in this moment of NOW but I wouldn't wish them gone. It's just that I've been trying to write this essay all day, even though I'm not really clear about what it is that I want to say. And darn it, having finally gotten a few paragraphs written in my browser there was that dreaded "poof" moment when it was suddenly all gone due to some kind of browser crash.

My friend Laurie Buchanan writes in her blog – "I believe that each of us has an individual and specific reason for being here". Certainly we're here. That's pretty obvious. The reason we're here ? Well some genetic material merged together in a nourishing environment, until growing too large for our container, one day we were thrust out more or less on our own – and definitely "here". I took a 6 week course with Jean Houston to Awaken to my Life's Purpose. It was interesting and entertaining but it didn't get me "there" to some kind of "serious purpose" I mean. I've reached a point in my own journey where I believe that I'm simply here to "love generously". It's an easy job if the applicant is willing to accept it. It doesn't pay monetary rewards but proves consistently satisfying none the less.

Just because I think I've identified my "purpose" for "being here" does not imply that I am in anyway masterful at expressing it. I am intentional about expressing it. I practice it and sometimes I fail at exemplifying it. I do the best I can each and every day like most human beings actually do truth be told. It may sound like to you that I have chosen an "easy" purpose to give my being here an "excuse" but expressing that purpose actually isn't always easy truth be told.

This thought feels as though it was "presented" to me at some point along the way in answer to my inner question. I've asked myself – who is it that observes my efforts to love generously ? It seems like this It always has been and always will be but I have no proof of that. Somehow I do know that my true self simply wants to love independent of any return for doing so. In contemplation I chose this thought that the only purpose for my being here that I could think of was this. So there really doesn't seem like there is anywhere to go from here, nothing to do (love doesn't actually take doing, though it provoke action) and happily, there is no end in sight to the multitude of ways that I can do it.

~ perspective

Whatever I chose as
my purpose is mine.
I sense a fusion of my being
with Love which expresses
through me.
I know Love as a powerful
force of creation because
I was conceived "in love".
The infinite creative power
of Love lives within me
for I allow it to.
As I seek to love generously
I seek to remove all barriers
from my thought that might
prevent me from aligning with
this Divine purpose.

#attainment #completion #contentment #life #love #mastery #practice #purpose #seeking #spirituality