Gazing in the Mirror

October 10 - Rebuilding Broken Trust

It isn't as bad as you
sometimes think it is.
It all works out. Don't
worry. I say that to
myself every morning.
It all works out in the end.
Put your trust in God,
and move forward with
faith and confidence in
the future.
~ Gordon B Hinckley

No matter what our
emotional storm, or what
our objective situation,
may be, there is always
a something hidden in
the inner being that has
never been violated. ...
that thing which forever
sings and sings.
~ Ernest Holmes

Each of us has expectations around other people. This is not always the best place to put one's trust. It is better to trust something that goes beyond individualization to encompass a greater wholeness. When we are able to trust that Life is for us and not seeking to destroy us then all manner of good circumstances can come into a situation to bring us out on the other side in a good place. Sometimes it is difficult to trust and believe that will be the outcome.

We can learn to trust in the likely goodness of other people by not allowing our ego's need for validation to rob us of that understanding. When other people do not behave as we would have preferred, while that behavior may not be pleasing to us, IF we know that Life overall is generally supportive of our own self we can overlook whatever the circumstance is and try to see what that circumstance is attempting to say to us. We can see the circumstances as though they were a mirror telling us something about our own self – whether that something is misplaced trust or human vulnerabilities or well intentioned experiences that yet bring some painful truth out into the open. We can know that the end result is that we will ultimately have our trust arrive in a more authentic place.

Back in 2011 a trust programmed in me during childhood, which involved governmental and economic processes, began unraveling for me and I began to see more clearly that certain beliefs were likely to actually be illusions. There has been hidden behind a veneer that is commonly accepted a larger truth that is less comfortable but must be maturely recognized. It is a kind of growing up moment to allow an incomplete truth about the rule of law to be recognized as less than fairly distributed resources. In coming to terms with that there comes a seeking to know what it is that can actually be trusted. I believe that we can trust the will of the collective to express Itself. If we are not happy with the manifestations we see expressing all around us, we need to ask ourselves what is it that we feel would be better in our truest hearts ? By knowing what one is navigating towards, the actual possibility of arriving there can begin to unfold. Wandering aimlessly never gets to a destination that hasn't been identified, though it can lead to many adventures and discoveries.

There was a time during my own lifetime when my trust was broken by a human being that I had loved and it became necessary for me to accept the reality of what was unfolding and make some difficult choices. By choosing to make a break with that circumstance, I moved into new situations that I had a more personal control over. The initial feeling was quite liberating even though at times it was very challenging. In making that choice, I was able to prove to myself that I was worthy of my own trust and in truth sometimes I was also not trustworthy to support my own good. Living alone for a period of time was quite revealing. Sometimes my choices led to interesting outcomes. From the experience of those circumstances, I was able to enter into a new relationship with another human being that emerged from a position of a greater strength of character in me and from a more mature perspective could also be supportive of the new relationship's continuance.

When I am willing to be vulnerable and share myself openly I discover that other human beings will come into my awareness with a desire to help me. Some will come with good advice that I can easily recognize as such and some will come with advice I am not able or willing to employ. It is all good – for in making decisions about what is good for me or should be passed over and let go, I am able to sort things out for my own self. It is within the innermost self that any person is able to discover the purest kind of trust. Accepting the assistance of others rebuilds the idea that we CAN help each other. This grows a new kind of trust which is yet based in our own self and which must have our best interests embedded in Its heart. Sadly, Life's experiences can corrupt this in some people. It ever remains within each of us always awaiting our re-discovery of Its goodness and benevolence.

It truly is a joy to discover that there are human beings who are motivated by nothing more than a desire to be supportive. These types of individuals will not force their own methods upon us. The best of these will walk or sit quietly alongside us as observers. In observing us neutrally or benevolently, these human angels validate our own choices and journeys simply by their support. These friends of our heart let us know that we are choosing rightly for our own selves. It is a blessing to know that truly we never walk entirely alone through this Life. To discover this, we must remain open to the presence of other people in our own life. Though there will always be those who seek to tear us down in order to make their own selves feel better (and those we can have compassion for but should establish clearly with them our own boundaries and keep these persons at an appropriate distance from our vulnerable hearts and emotions) we can chose to extend trust safely to those companions who are not in competition against us but truly only wish the best for us as well.

~ perspective

Day by day I discover
what it is that I can
truly trust.
I find that I can trust
that Life will be for me
over the long run.
I can trust other people
for the most part but
must remain vigilant and
not over-extend such trust
inappropriately.
I seek to know an authentic
trust that my faith is always
well placed within.
I choose my companions along
the way wisely for their
welcome support.

#assistance #beliefs #challenges #choice #expectations #honesty #illusions #maturity #possibilities #trust