Gazing in the Mirror

January 15 - If You Build It

If you build it, he will come.
~ Voice, heard by Ray Kinsella
in the movie "Field of Dreams"

If we are able to build in mind
the kind of home we wish, and
there is nothing in our subjective
thought which denies this, then
we shall be able to decide and
demonstrate for ourself
the kind of home we desire.
~ Ernest Holmes,
The Science of Mind textbook, pg 288

In this physical world humans build things. We are not the only sentient beings that do that. Birds build nests, many creatures make dens, beavers and muskrats make homes of piled wood in water for their shelter. When I first met my husband he took me to a favorite place on the property that belonged to his parents. We both felt immediately that this place is where we should live and fantasized about that on that dreamy afternoon early in love together. Years passed and yet that desire never left us. Finally discovering that our home is infiltrated by radon (which we continue to attempt to send out of the home as best as a window fan in the basement can do) and contemplating the first child to be born of our union we went to his parents with the "reasons" why we felt they should gift us with that small piece of property and not only did they honor our request and the reasons for it but gave us the whole of that small mountain nestled between two perennial creeks.

Since then the path has not been smooth for us getting that dream built. Originally our business figured strongly in our thinking about it. Maybe we did not have a "clear" enough vision. Our first architect was my husband's old partner and long time friend but he didn't like doing work for friends and was not making much progress. To be honest that first "concept" was probably the closest to being aligned with our needs and finances and would not have done the damage to our land that came next in my story.

That damage came in my form of my husband's uncle, my mother-in-law's brother. Oh he did have a vision to enhance our businesses potential that was directly relevant to our building plans there – as a showcase for our environmental integrity and heart based desires to be good stewards. He saw it as a meeting place for our business purposes and had an even larger vision of its potential as a conference location. Did I mention that his plan was hugely grand ? He was so inspired when he discovered that we wanted to build and that our first architect was not making progress, he thought about nothing else night and day and afterwards presented us with his plan. So enthusiastic was he that we "released" our old friend the first architect from the job. So our building project was still primarily for business purposes at that point.

We really didn't have a clue about the cost for building structures and we were growing by leaps and bounds as a business with so much cash flow that we easily accepted and paid bills caused by our uncle that were related to that effort. Along the way this uncle's plan necessitated that we blast a huge amount of rock out of the way because the elevated structure was going to require supports as strong as an interstate bridge. We drilled deep holes into the earth after so much was blasted away and bought very strong steel rebar to reinforce the concrete. My husband never has recovered from his regret about that blasting of our land. I remember clearly him returning home that day looking stricken but he persevered in making progress until family issues drove a final wedge between this uncle and my husband.

So we hired a third architect and he really seemed to "get" our environment. He came up with a beautiful idea but wanted to retain what he called "the quarry" look of the cliff left after blasting but the rock there isn't stable and is continuously falling and that is too dangerous for us to agree to its visible preservation. When this third architect delivered the price to us we were shocked that he could have ever believed we could afford that much for he had been to our current home many times and knew that we were far from wealthy. My husband re-designed it himself but has had trouble getting the architect enthused about a design that he didn't create.

There is nothing in my subjective thought that denies the possibility of our achieving a new home for ourselves and our sons. I can actually "picture" in my mind living there. I visit the place frequently and have stayed connected to the idea of it. The economy has been a factor in keeping us from having that easy cash flow we once enjoyed but our business is surviving. I do spiritual mind treatments and guided meditations meant to strengthen my sense of being provided for and having abundance and truly that aspect of my being is strong though my husband's outlook tends to be pessimistic but determined. Will we build it ? That remains an open question like some riveting mystery story but I do remain receptive gently without applying any effort or force to such possibilities.

~ perspective

There are many kinds of building
that humans do for raising children,
overcoming fear with courage and
if we are trying to build something
ambitious each failure is but
a stepping stone to our success.
When we must start yet again to
achieve some long-held desire,
we must also release all of the
past attached to it from
our previous attempts.
I build a spiritual "bank account"
of gratitude, kindness, compassion,
joy, peace, optimism and service.
We can each help to build a better
world by realizing that potential
that we were born with and by
developing confidence in our
genuine abilities.
We each build reputations among
our fellow men by the kinds of
actions we are known for but it
takes a long time to build a true
reputation and one thoughtless
moment to destroy all of that
effort and yet never do we truly
destroy our own self's possibilities.

#building #dreams #failure #home #imagination #plans #reality #regrets #success #vision