Fanfiction Reviews By Laly13 Vol. 2(Requests Closed)

Review #190: Him(Harry Styles)

Author: Somee_Giirl101

Rating: PG-13

Read it if: you want corny drama

Plot:

Ella and Harry have known each other for quite a while and have secretive feelings for one and other. When they finally take the plunge and start dating, when they start back at school they find them selves caught up in a whirlwind of emotion and experience that they were not at all ready for, with a baby on the way and a sudden car accident risking both their lives, how will their love cope when Ella forgets. Read on the find out if their love will perish. What do you think will happen?

Review:

If I sound offensive in any way then I'm sorry, but better be honest than a hypocrite:

Story- I considered the development incomplete and WTF. One moment you felt they knew each other since forever, another moment you felt they just met(as long as I know that isn't possible in this world). And also most of the chapters were just fillers so it wasn't 100% pleasant looking forward to another chapter. I think the only cool thing was the girl's amnesia not because I like accidents(I don't), but because it was the most stable and realistic thing

Grammar- needs improvement

Characters- the girl is pretty cool; corny ( corny and I don't get along so it isn't a good trait for me) but tolerable to read. Harry though is a different story. His worst moment is this bipolar stage where one moment he wants to lay beside his comatose then amnesiac girlfriend, the next he cheats and says she's a dead shit, and the next he supports her again like he was her biggest fan. If you ask me for the coolest character I would say the girl Harry cheats with cause she made a good job at being a good pretend friend.

Other notes:

-excessive pet names must stop ASAP!!

Note to author: if you're reading this, thanks for making this. If this makes you lose the motivation to ever write again then I deeply apologize, but this isn't something I would recommend to close people; this story has or it's close to 30 chapters and it's still weak for me and me being a grammar nazi the frequent errors hurt my forehead from the many facepalms I gave myself. I better shut up before I create huge controversy, so keep writing and take care ;)

Well people, 10 more reviews and this book is over! Hope you enjoyed this. Comment, share, vote, follow, read my fanfic reviews book vol.1, if you read teen fiction read my teen fiction reviews book, and if you have a story share it here or message me ;)