.::Chapter 31

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[@springrocks: oh my goodness i just read this whole story and wow i love this so much i have no idea how to feel because this is so beautifully written. this story makes me so happy]

Irwin side ~ 'the one who's scared to return his feelings'

In the middle of July, May collapsed in front of her home from iron deficiency, her doctor told Michael's parents that she had to stay in the hospital for treatment since her haemoglobin level was dangerously decreasing to almost 6 g/dL. In the worst case of scenarios, May had to get a blood transfusion.

I remember hearing about it from Mikey, he showed undisputed feelings one day and almost cried in front of Amanda, my mother and I. He sniffed a few times, saying he made her condition worse since he yelled at her the night she passed out. He swore he didn't hit her, but even I, who had been friends with him since we were in middle school, was having a hard time believing him.

There's always a moment in life, according to my mother, where time will seem to pause and give us a term of hell to teach a lesson about growing up. For every single one of us, that lesson was different. I'll talk about how May's relapse affected the others, too, but for now...I want to talk about him.

〜 Luke cried in front of me the first night of May's stay in the hospital, after saying the three words I've never imagined to hear from him.

'I love you.'

He wouldn't say it back to my sister at any cause back when they were dating and yet...He said them to me at that time...and I wasn't able to return those strong feelings yet.

"Hey..." The ugliest feeling stuck around me afterwards. There was a horrendous knot in my throat as I watched him stare solely into space, tears forming on the corners of his pretty blue eyes, it was starting to antagonize my ability to speak properly. "D-Don't cry..."

He wiped the hot liquid dripping down his cheek with the back of his hand and then bent forward, as if he was about to kiss me. Though all he did was place his forehead on my left shoulder for support.

We stayed that way in pure quietude.

Not knowing what to do at a time like that, I awkwardly patted his back, my intention was to comfort him. "I'm...really soー"

"Stop apologizing. It makes things worse." He sniffed, suddenly keeping his stance to face me again. Opposed to how normally I would react, I didn't feel like starting an empty argument. "You don't have to feel sorry for me...Since I already do that."

Instead, I felt like...Hugging him, or something. "Luke...Im not feeling sorry for you. I care about you so much, I just want to make you happy."

Thanks to the romantic atmosphere I ended up creating, after all, he kissed me. I didn't fight back, either; it was useless, anyway. I wanted to feel his lips all over mine. Not just then, but perhaps even...Later in life.

He was always making me doubt everything. My plans, my goals, my sexuality, my whole life. I thought I was going to grow up and marry the sweet girl I met in my senior year, like Ailyn, and then have two or three kids with her after we graduate from college...

But after he barged into my room one day to throw ice cold water at me while I slept...After he saved me, practically, from a fight. After he helped me break up with a girl that I ended up dating thanks to a misunderstanding. After we shared our first kiss, after he broke up with my sister, after everything he ever did for me...For us...

I think I've fallen in love with Luke.

It was too bad I couldn't tell him that back then, even when we parted from one of the most passionate kisses we ever had; I wasn't ready to say those kinds of words to anyone.

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