Missing Martha

105

Eventually, after multiple bumps and henceforth multiple curses, they made it back onto the motorway.
"I think the suspension is a little bit broken." Said Martin, biting his lip.
"I think this whole van is a little bit broken." Zoe laughed, slipping a white flowing summer dress on underneath Martin's t-shirt which she promptly took off and placed it in a plastic bag.
"How do you fit so many different outfits in that little bag?" Asked Jemma,
"Magic." Said Zoe, "well, I got more outfits when I was at home yesterday."
"You're far too prepared." Said Martin, squeezing her hand.
"Oh, I bought you all presents!" She added, taking out her handbag, and handing everyone a dairy milk bar.
"Oh my gosh, thanks!" They Exclaimed.
"How the hell have they not melted?" Asked Martin as Zoe opened a packet and placed a square on his tongue.
"Ice ice baby." She Replied as Martin licked her fingers before she pulled them away.
"You two confuse me." Said Ollie, putting one hand on both their shoulders.
"Go on, intimidate us." Laughed Martin,
"Like... how long have you two been.. like, a thing?"
Martin and Zoe looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders, "dunno, we've been on and off for like a week and a half." Martin inserted.
"I don't understand how you just fell for each other so quickly." Laughed Ollie,
"I literally feel like I've known you for years." Zoë said, looking over at Martin.
"Well, if you count that graduation night.. then we have." Martin replied, winking at Zoe who grinned back.
"We never finished watching that video of you two singing Bohemian Rhapsody that night." Jemma announced.
Zoe and Martin laughed in response, "I think you've seen quite enough of that video!" He exclaimed.
"Your laptop has some dangerous files on it!" Injected Lucy.
"My laptop is mine, and is not to be explored by my students!" Insisted Martin, jokingly.
"Students?! Is that all we are to you? After all this?" Laughed Ollie.
"You're my students until you officially finish school." Said Martin, smiling.
"Are we not finished school?" Asked Cloda,
"No, I'm driving you back just in time for your music exam." Martin told them, watching their mouths dropping in the rear view mirror.
"Shit, I've not been studying!" Exclaimed Ollie, covering his mouth.
"What key is Vivaldi's Concerto in Sol Maggiore?" Tested Martin,
"God... I dunno.." laughed Lucy,
"G major! And it was written in 1720 which is what period..?"
"Baroque period!" Exclaimed Ryan.
"Good lad! And who'd he write it for?"
"Some girls orphanage he used to work at." Cloda said,
"Brilliant! Now; what about our other pieces of music? Old Man River, Mozart's piece, Beethoven, and One day More; Les Miserables."
"Ugh... back into reality are we? Analysing music.. auxiliary notes, cadences.. oh I just want to go back to when we were running for our lives or being stalked or watching you two try and refrain from snogging each other, not bloody Beethoven!" Ranted Ryan, much to the amusement of everyone else in the van.

After a few hours of driving, Martin's hand was beginning to throb, he persevered by flattening out his left hand while he turned the wheel, he was confused as this had never bothered him as much before.
"You alright?" Asked Zoë, rubbing his shoulder affectionately.
"Yeh, just my stupid hand." He sighed, squinting in the pain as he attempted to change gears while his hand cramped.
"Hey, pull over I'll drive." She told him, taking his hand and massaging it, feeling all his tense muscles.
"Oh it's fine, honestly." Martin Insisted,
"No it's not, I can literally feel your tendons spasm." Zoë replied, "-indicate onto the hard shoulder, I'll see if there's something cold I can put on your hand."
"Can't pull over here." He sighed, looking at the signs.
"Then put your hand down and let me do the gears." She told him, placing her hand on the gear stick as Martin stretched out his hand.
"This is team work at its best." Commented Lucy.
"What did you do to your hand?" Asked Zoë,
"Oh, it's been like this since I was fifteen." Martin said, "well, not this bad for quite a while."
"What happened?" She asked him,
"Maybe another time." He sighed,  looking out at the road.
Zoe ran one of her hands onto his neck, and looked closely at it, seeing a large white line beginning from just below his left ear to below the collar of his shirt. Zoe then lifted Martin's hand, looking down at it, seeing hundreds of small white scars on his wrist.
"Oh my god.." she breathed, her eyes wide as Martin removed his hand gently from hers and she changed down a gear in shock.
"M-Martin pull over I- I need to speak to you." She gasped, covering her mouth with her left hand.
"Zoe- I'm not.." he assured her, knowing she suspected him self harming.
"Just pull over!" She cried, and he did as she asked with reluctance and dread.
"You two okay?" Asked Ollie, putting one hand on the back of Martin's seat.
"It's alright, Ollie." Martin sighed, trying only to calm himself as he pulled up the handbrake and stopped the car, looking at Zoe who wiped her brow before stepping out of the van, and Martin followed her and sat down beside her on the railing by the side of the road,
"Look, honey.. what do you want me to say?" He asked her, but in response she simply took his hand and ran her finger slowly down his wrist, in which she hadn't previously noticed was relatively shredded on the inside.
"Tell me you didn't do this to yourself.." she whispered. Martin looked down,
"It wasn't all me." He admitted.
Zoe looked up at him with painful eyes.
"When's the last time you hurt yourself?" She asked him.
"Yesterday morning." He admitted, showing her the recent cut on his wrist.
"Fuck, Martin!" She cried.
"I'll stop! I promise you I'll stop now, I'm happy now, I've got you and I'm not letting you go." He pleaded, taking her hands and looking at her straight in the eyes.
"Swear to me." She ordered, her eyes prickled with unbroken tears.
"Zoe." He lifted her head up with his caressing hand, "I swear to you I won't.
The tear from Zoe's eye fell straight down her cheek, and Martin allowed her to bury her face in his chest while he wrapped his arms around her back.
"Why did you do that to yourself?" She whispered,
"I had to." He responded, his jaw shivering slightly as this was a topic he'd only spoken to Emily about.

After a long exhale, Zoe sniffed and pulled herself together, wiping away her tears quickly before standing up, "Come on lets go back inside."
Martin nodded, putting one hand on her back as he followed her.