Missing Martha

93

Emily's long brown hair fluttered in the wind on her long yellow coat. She was wearing a black cap, her eyes were dark and her smile was wide.
Martha wore a little red coat, her tiny hands were sheltered with yellow gloves and her cheeks were red as she called, "Can we go on the bridge?"
They looked Ponte Vecchio bridge, Florence's most iconic scene and smiled, taking their daughter's hands.
"Course we can, Martha." Said Martin, leaning down and smiling at her before lifting her up over his shoulders, hearing her scream with delight as she held on to his hair.
Emily laughed as she placed a hand on Martin's back while he walked onto the bridge.
When they reached the centre, Martin took Martha off his shoulders and sat her down on the wall, putting his arms around her waist to stop her from falling as she looked out at the river.
"It's so pretty!" She giggled.
Martin laughed as he placed his head right above hers.
Emily leaned against the wall, taking Martha's hand.
"Why do both of you have the same ring?" Asked Martha, holding out Emily's hand.
"Because we're married, Martha." Martin responded, looking at Emily before gazing back to his daughter.
"Is that when you become a family?" Martha questioned, looking up at her parents.
"Basically, Yeah." Emily replied,
"Why can't I have a ring, then?" Asked Martha, folding her arms.
Martin tilted his head slightly,
"I don't see why she can't.." he laughed, looking to Emily.
"I tell you what- seeing as I have an engagement ring and a wedding ring, you can have one." Said Emily, holding out her hands flat with her palms down in front of Martha, "which one would you like?"
Naturally, Martha chose the engagement ring, which Emily placed on Martha's thumb so that it wouldn't slide off as easily.
"Now don't lose it, it was expensive!" Said Emily as Martha gazed down at Martin's monthly salary wrapped around her thumb.
"I won't! It makes me part of the family." Promised Martha, still looking out at the river.
"Oh Marthy, even without that ring you're the best part of our little family." Comforted Martin, kissing his daughter's cheek and hugging her tightly.

When Martin woke up he immediately felt dizzy, it was 10am, he knew he had to get up and get food for the band, but for now he just wanted to fall back to sleep, back into his precious memories of Martha.
He turned on his phone and saw two missed calls from Zoe, causing him to curse quietly and stand up, quickly pulling on a pair of trousers and walking outside, calling her back.
"Hey." She answered almost immediately.
"Hey Zoë, h-how are you?" He asked her,
"Not the best.." she gave out a sigh, "I'm at the graveyard.."
"Sorry, hon. I'll call you back later." He insisted,
"No.. please.. Martin.. there's a new gravestone here with Alex's name on it." She told him,
"Fuck... Zoe I'm so sorry... I wish I was there with you now." He told her, leaning against the outside of the van and sighing, "I love you so much, I'm so so sorry."
"It's okay.. where are you now?" Asked Zoe, obviously trying to keep her voice down.
"In a little caravan park just outside of Florence." He told her.
"Hope you're having a good time." She told him,
"I miss having you here." Martin replied, "and it's not even been a day."
"I'll be back tomorrow hopefully." She informed him, "it's far too cold back in Wales."
"It's pretty nice here. I'll take you here." He said,
"Have you bought that engagement ring yet?" She asked him, giving a slight laugh.
"Wait until I go into town today." He laughed, missing her.
"I better go- I'll see you soon."
"See you tomorrow." He told her,
"Love you." She told him,
"I love you too." He replied, waiting until she hung up till he went back inside the van. Everyone was still silently sleeping, Martin took this opportunity to quickly get changed before grabbing his rucksack and going into the public toilets which were, unfortunately, rather unclean. Martin assumed that this campsite had been the dwelling of multiple parties in the past, judging by the questionable scent and graffitied walls.
He took out his tooth brush and began brushing his teeth before he pulled out his box of anti depressants. In recent days he had been over dosing, hence the side effects, but he knew his limits, too much of this could literally kill him, and at the moment he wasn't planning on suicide.
He took two of the tablets and swallowed them with a small gulp of water, catching his eyes in the mirror, knowing he'd have to ween himself off the tablets soon enough.
He washed his face and took out his razor, giving himself a light shave before looking to his wrists, feeling almost sick but quickly slashing the razor blade across one arm was enough to satisfy him.
"You're not..." protruded Ollie's voice from the threshold of the toilets, when he saw the blood pouring out from his teachers wrist he ran immediately towards him.
"I've got no idea how this happened." Martin insisted, cursing to himself.
"Yes you do- Jesus Christ sir, you bloody slit your wrist." Exclaimed Ollie, dampening a couple paper towels and wiping away the blood.
"Ollie please-"
"You'd do the same for me." Ollie said, "hold out your arm."
Martin did as he was asked, placing his arm under the tap as Ollie put on the cold water, making him squirm in the pain, which subsequently felt quite good.
Ollie took a good look at Martin's arm while cleaning it up before seeing numerous faint scars all over his forearms,
"Fuck, sir you've done this before." He croaked, "for god's sake, why?"
"Masochism." Was Martin's response,
"What the hell does that mean?" Muttered Ollie, stepping away from Martin,
"Look it up." Said Martin, pulling down his sleeve, and beginning to walk out.
"I'm not gonna remember the bloody word." Uttered Ollie, looking worriedly back at Martin.
"I'm sorry mate.. thanks." Martin told him, sincerely.
"It's alright.." Ollie Sighed, "just don't do that again."
Martin nodded before leaving.