Missing Martha

92

"Hey, you wouldn't guess who Cloda fancied!" Ollie began, patting Cloda's shoulder.
"Shut the fuck up- no I didn't!" She giggled, slapping him back.
"Remember her in first year!" Jemma reminisced.
"Look; there's a difference between admiring that someone looks well and fancying them." Cloda assured them, unconvincingly.
"I used to be drop-dead in love with my music teacher." Martin admitted, his tipsiness increasing, "in fact she was probably the only reason I did music for A-Level."
"Ooh Mr Martini was a hoe!" Hooted Ollie, Who was now very drunk.
"But Ollie: she was only like three years older than me, she was like twenty, she was so tall and skinny and blonde and I just sat in lessons gazing up at her with horrendous thoughts. She told me to study music at uni and that's like the only reason why I did it." He admitted, "I met her in a nightclub a couple years later.. that didn't go well."
"Why- did you sleep with her?" Ollie questioned, laughing,
"Possibly.."
"So if it wasn't for you having a super hot music teacher we wouldn't be sitting here today." Laughed Cloda, filling herself up another drink while Ollie passed his glass to her for a refill.
"Ollie you've had enough, your liver is gonna fall out." Ordered Martin.
"Oh Mr Spoilsport McCafferson!" Mocked Ollie,
"Trust me you'll thank me tomorrow morning." Martin assured him, "there's some paracetamol in the glove box for future reference."
"Do you have any cigarettes with you?" Asked Ollie, lying back and leaning his head on Ryan's shoulder.
"Come on I've already destroyed your livers, I think I'll spare your lungs." Laughed Martin, taking out a cigarette for himself and lighting it over the campfire before taking a puff and looking sincerely at everyone.
"Okay.. Guys.. why have none of you talked to your parents about any of this? Like I haven't witnessed one phone call, what's happening?" He confronted, allowing Ollie and Jemma to take a cigarette.
"Well we've all got separate reasons." Admitted Ryan, "I mean mines not very serious, it's just that I never really got close with my adoptive parents, I reply to any text they send, but it just feels weird initiating a conversation with them."
Martin breathed out the tarry smoke with a sincere and sympathetic gaze, before looking to Jemma,
"What about you?" He asked her, confused and quite shocked.
"I've just been staying over at friends' houses these last few months.. didn't feel safe at home, and my parents really didn't seem to notice. They've just got their head stuck in the bible." Jemma moaned, "I usually just stay at Cloda's."
"And.. your parents are alright with that, Cloda?" Martin asked,
"Oh, my parents moved back to Ireland two years ago. I'm renting out a tiny flat. But it's home to us two. I just wanted to stay here in Wales rather than moving back."
Martin's jaw dropped as he rubbed the cigarette butt on the stone slate and leaned back.
"Listen if you guys ever need somewhere to stay- just call me up. Honestly- Ollie where have you been staying?"
"Just.. anywhere, usually." Ollie responded in a near moan from his drunkenness, "I stayed at Cloda's for a bit, but then it turned into her, Jemma and me all sharing a bed so I removed myself from that situation."
"So- you don't live with your parents either?" Asked Martin,
"God no. After Ellie died that was the final straw. They paid me five hundred quid to get the fuck out of their lives."
"Where have you been staying, Ollie?" Asked Ryan, with a worried gaze.
"Oh I'm fine, honestly." Ollie insisted, smiling but with incredibly sad looking eyes.
"Mate, honestly where've you been sleeping?" Ryan encouraged, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Just.. out 'n' about, Swansea's a pretty place." Ollie told them.
"Shit, Ollie are you homeless?!" Exclaimed Cloda, "for gods sake come and stay with me!"
Ollie shook his head and looked down, "Nah, it's what I deserve."
"Jesus Christ, Ollie how long have you been sleeping outside?" Asked Martin, his eyes wide with concern.
"About two months." He told him, "in case you're wondering, I do use the laundrette, and the public showers at the leisure centre."
Jemma's eyes had watered near to the point of crying as she faced Ollie, putting one hand on his face, "oh my god.. Ollie." She Croaked, "stay with me at least. Please!"
Ollie looked at her right in the eyes, "that's why I'm moving to Vancouver, I'll get my student loan and give all of you a break from me!"
The tears were unleashed from Jemma's eyes as she looked up at him,
"Come here." He soothed, wrapping his arms around her, "I love you, Jem."
Martin found himself close to tears, not knowing how their parents could be so ignorant and unloving.
"Can I- can I call your parents?" Martin asked with a broken voice.
"No." They all said in unison.
"I- I just don't get it.. h- how can people be so.. so fucking horrible to their children? You guys deserve everything and they just can't see that."
"Mr McCafferson I wish you were my dad," laughed Lucy, leaning against Cloda while the orange haze of the fire illuminated her face.
"You know what; they've made us stronger." Said Cloda, "leaving us to our own devices."
"They've made me bloody weaker I'm sobbing here!" Martin said, his bloodshot eyes fizzing with tears that broke as he blinked.
"Oh c'm'ere." Comforted Cloda, as the others crowded around Martin, hugging him and watching the fire blaze.
"Thanks for keeping us together." Said Lucy,
"Thanks for keeping me together." Her teacher responded, breathing slower and pausing in silence, "seriously you guys deserve so much more."
"So what?" Asked Ollie, "things can only get better, right?"
Everyone nodded with tearful eyes and sat in silence for a few minutes before Martin stood up.
"Time for bed?" He suggested which was responded by an abundance of nods and sighs of approval.
Martin lifted the empty cups and glasses, downed the remaining alcohol in them and placed them in a nearby bin before stretching and looking up at the starry night sky, thinking of his own child with sadness.
"I miss you, Martha." He sighed, glancing at the galaxies and constellations, feeling so small. "I miss you so so much."
And for just a moment, because of his drunken state, he could see his daughter, and feel her hand touching his as he recalled her beautiful big blue eyes bursting with life.
Until she disappeared and he remembered.. she's dead.