Missing Martha

51

Martin's stomach dropped.
His jaw shook and unsteadied in utter shock.
"Tell me it's not me.. please, Zoë tell me it's not me." Whispered Martin in almost a beg.
Zoe shook her head, more tears drenching her eyes, "of course it's you."
Martin covered his terrified eyes with his twitching hands.
"We can make this work, Martin." Said Zoe.
"Maybe you can but I can't." He told her, standing up and barging out of the room.

"Sir!" Called Ollie as he saw Martin walk past.
"Not now." Moaned Martin, exiting the hospital and reaching into his pocket again for a cigarette.
He leaned up against the side of the building and smoked, feeling utterly rebellious. He hardly ever smoked, only when he was feeling absolutely terrible, which seemed to be mostly at hospitals.
He heard a baby crying from inside the hospital and it made him well up into tears as he remembered when Martha was born.
Martin was in the classroom, it was a warm sunny day and all the windows were open.
It was the day of recitals, and Cloda and Jemma had performed a duet of The Little Mermaid's 'Part of Your World' with Jemma on the piano and Cloda singing. Lucy, Ollie and Ryan had a mini-band and had played the instrumental of 'Living on a Prayer.'
"Could you three and Cloda and Jemma stay after class for a bit?" Asked Martin, "I'll email your teachers."
When class ended, the five students remained.
"Okay, I like you five." Said Martin, before handing out pieces of manuscript paper to each of them. "Try this."
The piece was a very simple 16 bar melody with simple chords. He saw the five of them smiling at each other as they tried to perfect it.
After about half an hour Martin sat beside them, "how would you feel about forming a band?" He asked before his phone started ringing. "Sorry one second."
"Hello?" He answered,
"Hello Martin, Your wife, Emily has just gone into labour."
"Oh- oh my god okay I'll be right there, is she alright?" He asked,
"She is, just be as quick as you can." She said,
"Alright, alright I'll be there in fifteen minutes max." He replied, grabbing his jacket and hanging up as a smile protruded from this face.
"Sorry guys! Gotta run, my wife's about to give birth- come here every morning at 8 o'clock before school starts and we'll get to it!" He told them, running towards the door.
"Congratulations, sir." Said Ryan, watching him leave.
"Thank you!" He called back.

Emily remained calm when she gave birth, Martin held her hand, he felt tense about doing so, he hadn't held her hand many times before, but when she grasped out in pain he had to take it and allow her to squeeze his knuckles together until they heard the cries of a newborn.
Martin was given the baby first,
"Congratulations, its a little girl." Said the midwife as Martin gleamed into its beautiful blue eyes, kneeling down to show Emily who's eyes were prickled with tears.
"She's so perfect." Whispered Martin, stroking the baby's soft hands.
"Can we call her Martha?" Asked Emily, looking up to Martin.
"Course we can." He replied, handing Martha to Emily.
"Martha McCafferson, it fits." Said Emily, looking up again and kissing Martin's cheek before Martin turned to face Emily and kissed her again on the lips, constantly smiling as they split apart, not wanting to look away from their new precious child.
"Hello Martha." Said Martin, stroking Martha's tiny delicate fingers.
"Mummy and daddy love you so much." Whispered Emily, gleaming down at Martha's eyes before the midwife took her away to be examined.
Martin sat on the edge of Emily's bed, "who'd have thought we'd become parents?" Laughed Emily.
"Well here we are." Sighed Martin, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.
"How are you feeling?" He asked her,
"Knackered." She sighed, taking his hand, and kissing him on the lips again, cupping his cheek and closing her eyes before splitting apart. "I'm sorry I don't know if it's the hormones or something-"
"I love you." Said Martin, brushing a stray hair from her face.
"I love you too." She whispered, another tear falling from her exhausted face before the midwives crowded round again to deliver the placenta.

He couldn't imagine being there with Zoe, watching her cry at the birth of her child, or have a name decided. He couldn't picture himself holding her hand in pride and falling in love with her all over again as he witnessed what she would deliver.
But nine months from now he'd be a dad again. Or, perhaps, a dad for the first time. But he found himself feeling slutty, feeling like some fuck-boy who used Zoë for his own pleasure.
"Sir."
Martin turned around to see Ollie walking towards him.
"I don't wanna talk right now." Said Martin, slipping the cigarette back in his mouth.
"Tough." Replied Ollie, taking the cigarette out of Martin's mouth and placing it between his own lips with his index and middle fingers.
Martin couldn't believe what he had done, and that he was watching Ollie smoke right in front of his eyes.
"Ollie." Groaned Martin, annoyance building up inside him.
Ollie took the cigarette out and puffed out the grey cloud of smoke before putting it back in again.
Martin shook his head before leaping out at Ollie and grabbing the cigarette off him, throwing it on the ground.
"What the hell do you want?!" He yelled.
"I want you to stop and look around you!" Shouted Ollie,
"What the hell does that mean?!" He yelled again before he felt a gush of air fill through him, it was like a realisation of what was happening finally hitting him.
He slid down the wall and ran his hands through his hair as Ollie sat down beside him.
"Ollie I've made a mistake." He muttered, taking a deep breath.
"She's pregnant, isn't she?" Asked Ollie.
Martin looked down to the ground and found himself gasping for air.
"She needs you, sir."
"You don't understand, Ollie." Muttered Martin,
"What else do I need to understand?" He asked,
"That my wife died and a week later I got another girl pregnant! On a fucking school trip!"
"Then make this right." Said Ollie, looking over at him.
"There is no way in hell that I can make this right."
"Yes there is! Help Miss Flynn! Be with her! Make a family!"
"There is no way I will be able to raise a child! I am not safe to be around and I'm obviously not capable of truly caring for anyone!"
"Then who the hell was Martha?!" Yelled Ollie, glaring into Martin's eyes.
"Don't you dare." Growled Martin,  grinding his teeth.
Ollie took out a phone from his pocket, it was Martin's phone, he turned it on and showed him the screensaver, it was Martha's face.
"Tell me she wasn't the best thing that ever happened to you! Say that to my face and you'll have an excuse!" Yelled Ollie.
Martin reached out and grabbed his phone back, staring at the photo of his dead daughter, looking at her perfect smile and her perfect eyes on her perfect face.. he found himself close to tears again.
"Tell me she wasn't the best thing that ever happened to you." Repeated Ollie,
"Leave me alone." Muttered Martin,
"So you can sit here and smoke and feel sorry for yourself?"
"Ollie." Martin looked up at his eyes in plead.
Ollie nodded, standing up and leaving.