The Girl in the Mirror (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 77

Chapter 77

Sienna’s POV

My body is consumed by fear as the stranger’s clammy hand covers my mouth, making it difficult for me to breathe. He is trying to stop me from calling out for help and I’m terrified. I am terrified that he is going to hurt me. Tears silently stream down my face, as I convince myself that if he is going to kill me, I want him to do it now. I want him to do it quickly. “I’ve waited for this moment forever” he whimpers into my ear. The feeling of his hot breath on my ear lobe makes my stomach churn. He has a British accent, which unnerves me further. “I’ve waited to hold you again for so long” he says in almost desperation. My body stiffens under his grip, as I realise this man is unhinged. He’s a crazy fan, but this time I haven’t got a bodyguard or a barrier separating us. This time I am face to face with someone who is obsessed with me, and I’m scared. I’m scared of what this crazy person could do to me. I don’t know how he has managed to get into my suite. The fact that he has so easily got in, terrifies me. I thrash my body against his to try and escape his grasp, but it’s no use. He holds me tightly, stopping me from getting away. I scream loudly against his hand, but it comes out as just a muffle. Nobody can hear me or help me and suddenly I realise this man can do anything to me. He could hurt me just like Mitch did. I am so frightened. I start to sob loudly which can only just be heard under his hand, as I realise I have ran out of lives. What the hell is he going to do to me? He suddenly starts to drag me towards the bathroom.  I kick my legs against his as I try to stop him from moving me, but he literally carries me. I instantly get flashbacks of what Mitch did to me in my own bathroom. I don’t think I can go through that again.

“Get the fuck off her!” I hear Liam bellow angrily. The man turns and Liam comes into our view. I can see he is furious, but hearing his sweet voice brings me relief. I silently thank God that Liam heard me scream. He has come to save me, he is going to save me. “Get away from us!” the lunatic demands. He removes his hand from my mouth, but he still holds me firmly. I gasp desperately for air, I can finally breathe properly again. “Liam” I manage to cry out desperately. He looks at me and I can see he is terrified too. He looks like he is about to lose everything. He looks like he is about to break down at any minute. It hits me that he thinks this is my ending too. He doesn’t believe he can save me and that he is going to lose me. He thinks this man is going to show me no mercy and that scares me. I need him to save me, I don’t want him to give up on me. How can I think he is going to save me if he doesn’t believe he can? I suddenly see a flash of silver and light reflects off it from the chandelier on the ceiling. I turn slightly to see that he is holding a long, sharp knife in his hand. I let out an almost strangled cry, as I realise what he is holding. He waves the knife in front of us, his eyes are blazing as he glares at Liam. Liam instinctively takes a step back from us. Every hair on my body stands up in fear. “Liam “I cry out. The mad man suddenly pulls me towards the bathroom. I won’t get away now though. I am going to be dragged into that bathroom and who knows what will happen to me, when the door is closed.

Liam attempts to edge closer to us, but we both know he is powerless to stop this. If he attempts to stop this maniac, he won’t think twice of just stabbing him. I don’t want anything to ever happen to Liam, I care about him more than I dare to admit. He is probably even my best friend. I am suddenly dragged fully into the bathroom by this stranger, before Liam can even say or do anything. The man lets go of me as soon as we are inside, then he shuts the bathroom door and he locks it quickly behind him. I scramble to the other side of the bathroom and I curl up in a tight ball, in the far corner. I sob loudly, because I am petrified. I hear footsteps coming towards me and I instantly look up. The stranger stares at me and he looks confused by how upset I am. My entire body shakes with fear, I sob on the brink of hysteria. I hear Liam’s muffled voice outside the bathroom door, he is trying to get some help. It’s no use though, I’ve given up already. This is my destiny, this is how I am meant to go out of the world, and this is how it is all going to end for me. “Sienna” he says. I reluctantly look at him, even though I am practically blinded by all the tears in my eyes. “I’m not going to hurt you” he tries to say convincingly. I don’t believe him though, this is probably what all murderers say to their victims, and then they kill them. I can’t believe a word he says, as he holds that knife in his hand. I see in his eyes that he cares, but all fans care about me. There are some who care that much, that they are blinded and it will lead them to hurting me.

I wait for him to hurt me, but he doesn’t. If he was going to hurt me, wouldn’t he have done it by now? He is just another crazy, obsessed fan, but maybe he isn’t going to do me any physical harm. I know from experience, that he isn’t the first to go insane over me and I am sure he won’t be the last. I have experienced some crazy fans in the past, they have done some crazy and weird things. I have never had someone do this before, this is a step too far. I’ve never had someone break into where I am staying before, nobody has ever invaded my privacy like this. My safety has always been in jeopardy, considering how easily he got in here. He still holds the knife in his hand, I can tell he is thinking about what he is doing now. He is starting to realise that this is all insane. I don’t think he realises how serious this is, he doesn’t know what he is doing. He paces the room nervously, which unnerves me. I don’t think he would ever be able to stab someone with that knife, but it still scares me that he has it. This could happen again though, the next person who gets in might use the knife they have. What if this happens again? What if the next person manages to really hurt me?

I watch him as he hits his fists against his head, it’s as if he is trying to silence the voices inside it. I feel a slight connection to him, even though that’s insane. We probably have more in common than anyone will ever realise. I still don’t want him here, I want him gone. I sit with my knees to my chest and I continue to whimper. Could things possibly get any worse? Why do bad things keep happening to me? What have I done to keep deserving it all? I feel like I am jinxed, that bad luck follows me around. I keep having bad things happen to me, no matter what I do, I can’t escape it. The stranger stands by the door, giving me time to reflect on my life. I know now I am never going to be happy, I will never be happy doing this job and living this life. This isn’t the kind of life I want, I didn’t want this for myself. I’ve grown up in the spotlight and I feel like I have done growing up. I’m an adult now. I have outgrown it all, the travelling, the different countries every day and even the stage. I don’t like what I do anymore. Surely when you get to a point where you hate it all, it’s time to give up. Every day is a struggle, especially the last year. I know it’s time to give this up, it’s time I handed my pop crown to someone else. I don’t want to be famous anymore, I don’t want to perform and constantly be watched. I just want to be normal, I just want to be Sienna. If I was just Sienna I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit. I wouldn’t have to be terrified of crazy fans, like this guy. I just want to live in the countryside with animals. I don’t want this life, I don’t want to perform, and I don’t want this. I know what I have to do, I have to do what’s right for me.

I eventually and reluctantly look up at the stranger, in my bathroom. He is just staring at me and I can see everything clocking over in his brain. I feel myself stiffen in fear as he walks towards me. I don’t want him near me, I just want him to leave me alone. “I need you to understand why I’m doing this” he bends down in front of me. I am overly conscious that he is still holding the knife in his hand, just inches away from me. I don’t speak, I don’t care why he is doing this. I just want him to go, I don’t want him anywhere near me. “I need you to know who I am” his voice cracks as he speaks. He is becoming emotional and he seems oblivious as to how uncomfortable I am, with him being so close to me. I watch him carefully, as I wait for him to pierce me with his knife. I don’t speak, I just mentally prepare myself for the pain and hurt that is going to follow. We both suddenly turn to the door, we hear noise and commotion outside. I pray it is the police or security here to save me, to get me away from this crazy man. Please save me, please help me. “Sienna listen to me” the creep says firmly. I fix my terrified gaze back on him. He looks scared and my breathe catches in my throat as he speaks. “I’m your father” he tells me. I almost choke on air, my stomach churns and I feel like I am going to be sick. I try to register what he has just said, I don’t believe a word he says. I open my mouth to challenge him and the door is suddenly kicked off its hinges. We both jump back and suddenly the bathroom is full of cops. The man suddenly drops his knife to the floor, guns are pointed to him and he holds his hands up defeated. He looks terrified but he keeps staring at me. I feel tears stream down my face, I watch the man who has just claimed to be my father get pushed viciously to the ground. “Sienna please believe me” he cries out. I stare at him in shock, the cops bend his arms behind his back and they handcuff his arms. This lunatic can’t be my father, can he?

“Sienna it’s true I promise” he calls out to me. He is dragged to his feet and pulled away by the cops. I don’t get chance to say anything to him, I don’t know what I would have said even if I had of had a chance. A cop helps me to my feet gently and he asks if I am ok. I can’t speak but I feel relieved as I see Liam. He quickly rushes to me, pulling me into a hug but I don’t hug him back. I am happy he is here but I think I am in shock. I stare into space, I try to register what the stranger said to me and what has just happened. I feel so alone, even though my suite is filled with cops. I don’t want to be alone. I start to sob so I cling to Liam for comfort. He holds me caringly which I allow and I try to get my head straight. I try to make everything ok but I can’t. How can this all be ok? “Are you ok?” I hear Trevor’s familiar voice ask me. I look up at him, he walks to me and he places his hand caringly on my arm. I don’t respond because I am not ok. I just cry, I cry like I always do. I would never have cried in front of anyone before, but now I can’t hide the pain. My life is just one big mess and I can’t hide it anymore. Liam suddenly lets go of me, which unnerves me and he stares at Trevor. I can see how furious Liam is and the fire that blazes in his eyes. “Get the hotel manager up here now!” Liam demands. I haven’t seen him this angry before, he is raging and all because of what has happened to me. I appreciate that he cares about me, sometimes it feels like he is the only one who does. Trevor nods simply, he walks off to try and get some answers. I won’t ask the question but deep down I want to know why this has happened as well.

Liam carefully leads me into the living suite which is still full of cops as they look around. I imagine they are trying to gain evidence or understand how this man got in here. I will have to give a statement but I’m not ready to talk about this yet. I can’t think straight, the strangers words still swimming around my head. ‘I’m your father’. It can’t be true, he can’t be my father. He just can’t be, I spent years of my adult life looking for him and I spent thousands of pounds in the process. I never even got a small glimmer of hope of finding them, I gave up. How could he have just found me now especially in America? How could he have known I was even here? It might be crazy, but a small part of me hopes he is my father. I might finally be able to get answers, answers to things I have wanted to know for as long as I can remember. I could finally find out who I really am, who my parents are and why they didn’t want me. Which one of them do I look like? Do I have any of their traits? I desperately want answers. I’ve become weak and vulnerable lately. There has been so much going on, but there is still a logical part of me that knows this is too crazy to be true. Liam hugs me again and I allow it. He talks continuously and I couldn’t tell you a single word he says. I am too fixated on thinking about the man who could be my father. That man could hold the key to so many things I have wanted and needed my entire life.

I have so many questions I want to ask him but I don’t know if I will ever get the chance now. Why couldn’t he have just asked to speak to me like a normal person? Why did he have to break in? Why did he have to bring a knife? I wonder what his name is and where he lives. Are my parents still together? I day dream about the life I could have with them involved. I believe that they had high flying jobs, that wasn’t feasible with a baby. They didn’t want to give me up for adoption but they did it for me. They did it hoping they’d give me a better life, but they didn’t. I didn’t have a good life or a good upbringing. I bet they never stopped looking for me. I bet they hunted high and low for me but to no avail. They wouldn’t have known their baby would have become the legend I am today. My father would have waited my whole life to finally tell me he is my father. I imagine when they finally realised who I am, they did everything they could to find me. I’m not an easy person to find because I am always on the move. They will want me, they will love me and I will finally have the family I always wanted. I will finally have someone to share my millions with and I can finally be happy.

Liam’s POV

I keep comforting Sienna, but I don’t speak to her. I have been talking none stop, I soon realised she wasn’t listening to me. I just comfort her, I give her chance to calm down. I give her time to take this all in, I don’t want to force her into talking to me or to tell me how she feels. I’m just ready to be here for her, when she is ready for me. I’m still furious about what has happened to her, I want an explanation. How the fuck could this have even happened? We have spent a fortune on our stay here, clearly it has been money wasted. Obviously, our safety has been in danger this entire time. This could have happened to any one of us, not just Sienna. She’s just the unlucky one it has happened too. We can’t accept this negligence because next time someone might not be so lucky, we might not get away unharmed. She knows and I know that this could have ended a lot worse than it did. What would have happened if she been in her suite alone? It isn’t worth thinking about, the thought makes my stomach churn. If I hadn’t of insisted on staying the night in her suite, I wouldn’t have been able to get the help I did. She would have been on her own, that lunatic could have done anything to her. She wouldn’t have been able to stop him, she wouldn’t have been able to get help. I get angrier with every thought that goes through my head. I will make sure someone pays for this.

Steve walks into the suite, his bald head shining off the lights. He talks on his phone, I hear him explaining about what has happened with Sienna. “Ok Simon” I hear him say. I assume he is talking to Simon. I imagine Simon is just as furious about all of this, just like I am. I know Steve isn’t happy either, although he doesn’t show it as obviously as me. Trevor walks back into the suite, he has a face like thunder and I see a man following behind him. He’s quite short, with a balding head and thick rimmed glasses. He looks like he has just woken up, I bet Trevor has got him out of bed for this. He must be the hotel manager, he looks worried and rightly so. I watch him hoping to detect a hint of an apology but I don’t see any. He is probably pissed off that we have disturbed him, but he doesn’t realise he is about to be thrown into the lion’s den. He doesn’t have a clue how angry I am, he doesn’t know what is about to hit him. I pull slightly out of Sienna’s embrace, she holds onto my hand and I hold her tightly. She seems on edge, she probably knows I am about to lose it. I am close to losing it, but I try to stay calm so I can say exactly what I think and feel. This hotel manager needs to understand this isn’t acceptable and that it better not happen to anyone else ever again. This shouldn’t happen to anyone, especially Sienna. I pull out of her hold completely, I turn to face the hotel manager but I keep hold of her hand.

The man stands in the middle of the suite, staring around at us all. I want Sienna to see that I will look after her, I will always protect her and keep her safe. Steve ends the call he is on and I can tell he is ready to let rip but I want to have my turn first. The hotel managers eyes rest on Sienna “I’m the hotel manager Graham” he informs us “I am so sorry for what has happened” he says. I quickly jump in not accepting his apology. Does he really think an apology will make all of this ok? I know Steve wants to deal with this, I want to have my say though. “Sorry isn’t fucking good enough” I snap staring down at the short man. He looks at me, he looks intimidated but I can tell he has so much he wants to say. He knows better than to argue with me though. I can tell he isn’t sorry, if we were any other guests, we wouldn’t get away with speaking to him like this. He knows though that we’re the biggest clients he has had in this shitty hotel for a long time. We have brought big revenue to this hotel, which means he will let me say whatever I want. I can’t believe he would think a simple apology could make this all ok. “I assure you I will have a full investigation raised” he claims. I don’t give a fuck about his stupid investigation, it’s too late for that now. He doesn’t seem to understand that something terrible could have happened tonight. He needs to accept liability, he needs to accept that his hotel made a mistake and that one of his stupid staff members need to lose their job. They deserve to be sacked for this irresponsible error.

“I thought this was a five star hotel?” I ask.  “It is” Graham nods at me. I knew he would say that, I get ready to rip into him. “A five star hotel doesn’t let shit like this happen!” I snap “I want you to get the owner here, I want to speak to him and let him know what a shambles you are running” I demand. His lips tighten together, he is irritated with me but I don’t care. He needs to understand how important she is and how disastrous it would have been, had anything happened to her. “The owner is on vacation” he says. His strong American accent comes out and I know he is getting annoyed. Every single word he says irritates me. I am getting ready to hit him with a rude comment, luckily for him Steve intervenes. “Liam leave this to me” he advises me. It annoys me that he hasn’t said a single world the whole time he has been in this suite. He hasn’t even bothered to ask Sienna if she is ok. He is meant to be her manager, he is meant to look after her but he doesn’t. What kind of manager is he? If this had happened to me or one of the other boys, Paul wouldn’t have just stepped back and let someone else deal with it. He would have come in here all guns blazing, he would have reduced this man to tears by now.

“We will stay in your establishment until tomorrow but then we will be taking all of our custom elsewhere” Steve claims. Graham looks horrified at this news, he looks like he is going to be sick. He realises that he is going to lose out on a lot of money, now he looks apologetic. I enjoy seeing him in distress, he deserves this. “I’m sure we can look at some kind of discount” he says panic-stricken. He looks pleadingly at Steve, as he tries to desperately keep our custom. Steve shakes his head firmly, I get distracted briefly as the light still reflects from his shiny head. Sienna always comments on how shiny his head is, if things weren’t on top note we’d probably laugh about it. “This isn’t about money. Sienna’s life is priceless and you and your staff have endangered that” Steve says calmly. He is doing a better job than me, I wish I could high five him. He says exactly what I wanted to say, but in a more dignified manner. I can see now that he does care about Sienna, he just doesn’t always show it. She has spent years pushing him away, he’s obviously learnt not to show he cares. “I can’t risk anything happening to her or even upsetting her. Clearly you and your staff don’t have the same consideration for her as I do or this wouldn’t have happened. I would rather pay double of what we are paying you than risk anything like this again” he says diplomatically. Sienna doesn’t loosen her grip on my hand the entire time, I stroke her hand with my thumb comfortingly. “Tell the owner we will never stay in another one of his hotels again” Steve advises “You can leave now” he finishes. Graham doesn’t wait a second longer, he quickly rushes out of the suite. I bet he is relieved to get away from us all.

Steve turns to face Sienna “Are you ok?” he asks. He looks emotional for a moment but he quickly hides it. She doesn’t speak to him, she just nods even though she isn’t ok. “Trevor will stay in here tonight with you” he offers. I instantly become annoyed, I’m the one who has been staying with her. I am the one who is looking after and protecting her. I want to be the one she relies on. “No” I say looking from Steve to Sienna. Steve looks annoyed by me sticking my nose in, I know what is best for Sienna though. I’m her closest friend, I’d say maybe even her best friend. I understand her better than anyone in this suite. “You can stay in my suite, if you want?” I ask her. I want her to have the choice, she can pick then where she will feel safest. I know though before she answers that she will want to stay with me, she feels safest with me. She nods softly, her eyes are red and puffy. I wish I could make everything ok. “Fine” Steve says “I will arrange for someone to pack your stuff and then we will change hotels tomorrow” he says. Sienna nods, she lets go of my hand and she collects a few things that she needs. I wait for her and when she is ready, I lead her to my suite. I will make sure she is safe now and nobody will hurt her.

We get to my suite, leaving Steve to deal with the cops. She insists I go into the suite first so I can check it is safe. It upsets me that she is so paranoid but I don’t blame her. I would be the same after what has happened tonight. I enter the suite as she stays stood outside watching me. I check everywhere it would be possible for someone to hide. She seems satisfied that she is safe, once I have checked every cupboard and gap in the suite. She eventually comes into the suite slowly. I lock the door securely behind her and I place a chair against the door for extra safety measures. I sit down on the sofa, I’m tired but there is no way I can sleep now. I have too much going on in my head and I want to make sure she is ok. She is my priority now. I will sleep tomorrow during rehearsals and just before the show. I don’t know how she will cope tomorrow doing a show, but she is a professional so I know she will.  She places her stuff on the spare sofa and then she starts to pace around the suite. She is in deep thought and I can tell she isn’t going to sleep now either. She is still tensed up, fear still running through her body. It will take her hours to calm down, by the time she does we will be going to rehearsals. I let her pace around, I give her time to think. I don’t say anything to her, I just let her calm down.

She walks to the sofa several minutes later and she picks her mobile up from it. She hasn’t said a word to me, nor have I to her. She starts to make a call on her phone as I watch her. She doesn’t seem to mind that I can hear her conversation, so I don’t say anything. I just sit and listen as I wait to see who she is calling. I’m sure if she wanted privacy, she would have gone into the bedroom but then again I imagine she is too scared to be alone. “Hi Peter its Sienna” she says. Who is Peter? I’m sure she will tell me when she finishes on the phone. “I need your help” her voice sounds strained and there is a slight uneasiness to her voice. She is on edge and she can’t hide it. “I need a favour” she tells him. She hesitates for a moment “I need a gun” she informs him. I stare at her in shock, she avoids my gaze and I try to work out if I heard her right. Did she just tell him she needs a gun? What the hell is she talking about? I am about to say something to her, she gives me a stern look so I keep quiet. I just sit, waiting for her finish her call so I can understand what she is thinking. “I need something that is small and quite discreet. I need it to be easy to use” she tells him. How can she think she can just walk around with a gun? Does she not understand how dangerous they are? She could kill some, they’re illegal. She could get caught with one and be sent to prison. I need her to see sense, she needs to realise she can’t take matters into her own hands. She should just hire more security. “As soon as possible” she tells him. She stays on the phone for another minute or so, listening to this Peter speak. “Ok thanks. Bye” she finishes as she ends the call.

I stare at her in disbelief, she avoids my stare as she places her phone back on the spare sofa. She doesn’t look concerned or worried anymore. She doesn’t even acknowledge that I heard her conversation. She is acting like she hasn’t even just been on the phone. “What the hell was that?” I ask unable to hide my concern. She reluctantly looks at me, I see a hint of fear in her eyes. She looks pale and dark bags are forming under her eyes. “Please don’t be mad” she sighs “I need something to protect myself with” she informs me. I shake my head as I stand up “A gun isn’t the answer” I try to convince her “You need to hire more security” I advise. She doesn’t listen to my logic as she shakes her head. “I need to be able to protect myself when I am alone” she explains. She obviously doesn’t know how serious this is or how serious it is having a gun. “What if I had been in my suite alone earlier? I could have been hurt or anything if you hadn’t of been there. This could happen again and next time I might be alone” she states. She puts out there exactly what I have been thinking, I know she has a good point. I still don’t agree with what she is doing though and all I want is for her to see sense. She knows the consequences but she doesn’t care. She just wants to be safe and in reality everyone has the right to feel safe.

“You don’t get it!” she snaps “Nobody gets it! You don’t know how scary it is being me” she states more calmly. I don’t think I can ever understand what it is like being her, nobody could. I am starting to see it more clearly now, I just wish I could make it all better somehow. It isn’t that simple though. She is too famous and too well known, that isn’t going to just go away overnight. Everyone always wants a piece of her, but not for the right reasons. They just want to use her. They don’t see her like I do. They don’t see her sweet, funny and caring side. They just see her for the money in the bank and the lavish lifestyle she can offer. If only everyone knew the real Sienna like me, then they would see how amazing she is. I could understand her even more, if she would just open up to me and if she explained how she was feeling. She just keeps everything bottled up all the time though. She opens up to me sometimes, but as soon as she does I see instant regret in her eyes. She has spent her life hiding how she feels and it isn’t easy for her to just stop hiding it now. “Tell me then” I encourage. I want her to be able to talk to me, I want her to share everything with me whether it is good or bad. I want her to know she can trust me, she needs to know I’m not like the others. She can confide in me.

She sighs deeply as she looks at me. “Everyone wants a piece of me Liam” she starts to explain “Everyone just wants to take things from me, they never give anything back to me. They take anything and everything they can from me. They don’t care what they do to me when they take it. Imagine, everyone you have ever cared about or loved has ended up hurting you and letting you down. They sell your most intimate moments to a newspaper for a few thousand pounds. The whole world knows about my sex life, people have scored how I am in bed out of ten. Everyone knows about all the times I lost my temper, even when I was sorry afterwards. Everyone is always constantly staring at me like I have three heads. I can’t even go to the shop for a pint of milk most of the time without being mobbed. There are people who are that desperate to have a part of you, that they will rip your hair straight from your head. They will take anything from you, just so they can have something that belongs to you” she tells me emotionally. I never realised how bad it was for her, you don’t realise how bad something is until somebody lays it out bare in front of you. “I’m just a puppet, a money making puppet” she tells me simply. She sounds like she has given up, it breaks my heart to think she has. “I’m just scared you’ll get into trouble” I tell her still wanting her to see sense. “I won’t” she says convincingly. She knows that my resilience is slipping, she knows she has me. We both know that nothing is ever going to ruin our friendship. “I can keep a secret if you can” she says hopefully. I shouldn’t go along with this, it isn’t going to end well but I just want to be here for her. I want to standby by her, like nobody else has before. I nod and she smiles as she looks relieved. She is starting to realise that she can trust me.

Zayn’s POV

I toss and turn all night, I still can’t sleep. I have been restless all night, thinking everything over in my head. I need to speak to Perry, I have avoided the inevitable all night. She has tried to call me but I have ignored all her calls. I wasn’t ready to face her, I don’t even know what to say to her. I still don’t know what to say to her but I know I need to speak to her. She didn’t deserve me cheating, she doesn’t deserve me ignoring her now. I can’t tell her everything over the phone, especially when we are in different countries. I need to see her face to face, I owe her that much. I’m pretty sure if I plan things out right, if I explain things well enough, she will forgive me. She won’t be able to resist, if I beg her face to face. I know I’m a bad person but I can’t help that I know how this shit works. I know exactly how Perry thinks and how she works. She will be furious when she first finds out, she will cry and say she hates me. I will give her a bit of time to think, she will soon realise that she loves me and what we have is worth fighting for. I will tell her that she is the only one for me and eventually she will forgive me. She always forgives me.

The only problem this time compared to the others are she knows Sienna. She is friends with her and has never had a bad word to say about her. I can’t just tell blurt this out, it won’t all just be forgotten because a reminder will always be close by. She will be reminded of what I have done every time she hears Sienna’s song or every time we are at the same venue as Sienna. She will see her in the newspaper and with the other guys. We still have the tour to finish and I know it will bother her that I will see Sienna every day. I don’t know how she will cope with that. That’s the only reason she will not forgive me. That’s what will bother her the most that I went with someone so close to home. I haven’t just damaged what we have, I have destroyed her friendship with Sienna. A person she has idolised since she was a child. Sienna has always been Perry’s favourite artist, her idol, her role model. I have tarnished her relationship with Sienna and it will never be repaired. She will throw this back in my face, she will do that for a long time. I don’t care though, as long as she forgives me I will put up with it all. I will deserve everything she says to me.

I just need to keep focused, then I can sway this in my favour. I know I can make her forgive me, there isn’t a single doubt in my mind that she won’t. I know how to make everything ok. I will offer her the wedding she has always dreamt about. I will finally give her what she wants, I will marry her. I will marry her anytime, anyplace and anywhere. She can make all the decisions, she can have whatever she wants and I will spare no costs in making her happy. She will forgive me completely then because marrying me is all she has ever dreamt about, ever since I asked her to marry me. I asked her to marry me the last time I made a mistake and it worked. I want to marry her now as well, I just want us to be happy. I want to make her happy, she deserves to be happy. I pick my phone up from the bedside table, I need to call her. I need to hear her sweet voice, I need her to diminish all of my current insecurities. I call her knowing the sooner I do, the sooner I can get her here. The sooner I get her here, the quicker we can move on and be happy. The phone rings a few times then I hear her voice. “Hey babe” she says happily. I feel guilty as soon as she speaks, I listen to her sounding so blissfully happy to be speaking to me and she is completely unaware of what I have done. “Hey babe” I say almost sickly. I need to stop being so over the top or she will know something is wrong, but it’s hard to just act like nothing is going on.

“I miss you” I tell her. I mean it, I really do miss her. “I miss you too baby” she says in a baby voice. The same voice that normally irritates me and makes me roll my eyes down the phone at her. I appreciate it though, I appreciate everything about her today. “Can you come out here?” I ask desperately “I will sort all the travel out” I tell her. I know she will come out, she has nothing better to do. She will just need to sort out someone to look after all of our pets, I know her mum will be happy to do it. “Really?” she asks excitedly. “Yes” I say smiling lightly at her enthusiasm. I wish I didn’t have to hurt her but I am going too. I knew she would want to come. She always wants to be with me, it’s about time I wanted the same with her. She talks none stop for over an hour and for once I appreciate every word she says. I know now that I could never be without her, I can’t lose her. In a way it’s good this has happened because I now appreciate everything about her and everything we have. I swear I will never fuck this up again, I promise it.

Liam’s POV

I lean slightly into Sienna on the bed getting comfy as we watch a film. She picked it, it’s a comedy and we’ve both laughed all the way through it. I like hearing her laugh, she doesn’t often laugh and when she laughs she really laughs. She has a cute laugh, it’s a soft, chuckling kind of laugh. It makes me smile whenever I hear her laugh. I have heard it a lot more lately, mainly when she is in my company. I like that she laughs at my jokes, no matter how lame they are. She never seemed to laugh much when she was with Harry. She never even seemed to smile much when she was with him, I bring out the best in her unlike him. I keep watching her slyly, which she doesn’t seem to notice.  I like just watching her let herself go. She isn’t on edge or paranoid that I am up to something. She trusts me, like I trust her. She just lets herself go and that’s when the real her comes out. It’s like she has let all the pain go for the time being, she lets herself get lost in the film. I love being in her company, I love spending time with her. I like how comfortable I feel around her and how at ease she makes me feel. I hope she feels like that with me too.

She is always here to support me too, this isn’t all one way. She wants to help me too. She has her own things going on but she is still interested in my issues. She helps me out with advice, just like I do with her. She has been telling me to go for things with Sophie and to bring her out here. She said that I have to seize an opportunity before it is too late. Her words made me think about everything going on in my life. I like Sophia, I really do but it isn’t that simple. It isn’t ever simple liking someone when you live your life on the road. I’ve tried to juggle life on the road and a relationship before. It’s hard, really hard. I mean look at what happened to me and Danielle. We were great together, everyone thought we were and I thought I’d be with her forever. I started touring and travelling a lot, that’s when our relationship started to buckle. She could never understand or accept that right now my job comes first. She never understood that in my heart she was number one but in reality if I had to go to another country and be away for her birthday, that was what I had to do. We fought so much about it and that’s when we had to give up. I had to give up on us. I don’t think anyone outside this business understands what it is like. I know Sophia will be the same as Danielle. She would never understand how my job works, it isn’t fair for me to pull her into this circus. I don’t want to hurt her, like I hurt Danielle. I know Danielle is still trying to heal the damage I caused her, it bothers me still how much I hurt her.

Sienna laughs snapping me out of my thoughts. I stare at her, her eyes shine as she stares at the TV screen. Her eyes are normally shining from tears but for once they are shining with laughter. I smile seeing her so relaxed, I wish she would be like this all the time. If she was everyone would like her as much as I do. She puts up her walls, she acts like she is tough but she isn’t. She is fragile underneath it all. She isn’t as strong as she likes to think. “This is Harry’s favourite bit” she says staring at the screen. I am annoyed with her for mentioning him. She always somehow manages to bring Harry up in conversation unnecessarily. She makes me feel like I am second best compared to him. I know as well she does that if she had the choice, she would be sat here with me. If she could pick she would be here with Harry and it bothers me more than it should. Why can’t she see that Harry doesn’t care about her? He only cares about himself. If he ever cared about her, he wouldn’t have treated her the way he did. I don’t say anything to her, I feel like if I do I may end up snapping at her. It isn’t her fault she is in love with some self-centred arsehole. The problem with Harry is he thinks he is too good for Sienna. He thinks he is superior to her but he will never be superior to a woman like her, no man ever will be.

She is beautiful, perfect even. I watch her, taking in her make-up free face. How is it possible for someone to look like an angel? I wonder if Harry ever appreciated how beautiful she is and how lucky he was to even get the chance to be with her. I really do hope they are over for good this time. Everyone knows she is better off without him, I just hope she can see that too. I can’t stop her though. If she wants to go back down the road of being with him, all I can do is wish her well. I will just have to pray he won’t hurt her again. I never want anyone to hurt her. The film finishes and she turns to me when it does. “That was funny” she informs me her eyes still shining. I just stare at her and I don’t say a word. She looks at me confused, she doesn’t know why I can’t stop looking at her. Isn’t it obvious? I love her. I love everything about her. I know I should hide it but as I stare at her plump pinks lips, I can’t help myself. I wonder what it would feel like to kiss her and what her lips will taste like. I lean in without any warning and I suddenly press my lips gently onto hers.