The Girl in the Mirror (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 55

Chapter 55

Harry's POV

What a shitty ass long day! All I wanna do is go to sleep. I know the second my head hits the pillow I'll be out. I'm still tense and on edge. I was getting so pissed at the video shoot. Every single shot was rerun over and over, meaning we ended up several hours over production. I was seconds away from storming out of there and not going back. Luckily, the director wrapped it up. I think he was as pissed off as I was in the end.

I walk into Louis' house, kicking the door shut behind me. Even though I wanted the photoshoot to end, I really didn't want to face going home alone. So, when Louis asked me to stay at his I jumped at the chance. This way my mind is occupied with other things and not fixated on my next drink. If I went home on my own I'd drink myself into an oblivion. 

The thought of a drink now though makes my body tingle. It'd take the edge off, one glass, one beer. Anything. It'd take the edge off a shit day, but I know I need to be strong. I need to ignore the urge and desire inside. I need to stay sober, I need to do this.

We've been that busy though this is my first thought of drinking. I haven't thought about it properly, I've not had time. I've not had a second alone, everywhere I went Louis or one of the others was right behind me. I really could drink a vodka though, something to take the edge off. There isn't any here though, so tomorrow I'll wake up without a hangover for once.

I want to try and be better. I'm starting to make amends with people already. Paul asked me to go with him to his mother in laws for dinner tonight as well. He really genuinely wanted me there, but I felt like I was imposing. Even though, he insisted I wasn't. I don't want to become a liability or a charity case. The last thing I need is pity.

When it came to Louis he didn't give me a choice in going home. He said I was staying here and that was the end of the discussion. I didn't argue. I really thought I was going to have to go home and stare at the four walls of my living room again. 

We take our shoes off in the hall, like we always do. I follow Louis as he walks through the house, calling out Eleanor's name and seconds later she appears in the kitchen doorway. She smiles widely as she sees us, genuinely happy to see me too. She walks towards us, stopping in front of Louis and hitting him with a small kiss. They're always so happy to see one another. How do they manage it? God I hope I find that one day. I hope I find someone who's face lights up when she sees me, like hers does with him.

"Hey you" she smiles at me.

She walks to me and she embraces me in a warm familiar hug. She squeezes me tightly, squeezing some happiness back into me. I need this, I needed this love more than anyone around here realises.

"Hey" I say, hugging her back just as tightly.

I appreciate this, them so much. I'll never be able to say it to them, but I hope deep down they know that. She steps away from me, breaking our contact, but I still feel her comfort on me.

"I made up the spare room for you. I don't know if you want to stay, but  you know you're always welcome."

I smile happily, genuine happiness escaping me. I can't hide how much I need this, I need my friends. She smiles back at me, noticing the delight I'm showcasing.