The Girl in the Mirror (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Sienna’s POV

I sit getting my hair done by my hairdresser Rachel. We don’t talk and she doesn’t say anything as I drink vodka straight from the bottle. I feel so low and depressed. I haven’t heard anything from Harry all day and it hurts me more than it should. I thought he would have been back by now wanting me back but he hasn’t. I stayed in my suite all day drinking until it was time to come to the arena ready for my show later. If Simon or Steve catch me this drunk they will be furious but I don’t care. I don’t care about anything anymore. I feel like nothing matters now I don’t have Harry. I’m relieved that Rachel doesn’t try to talk to me. She seems nice and the last thing I want to do is to sack her for being nosey. I can’t stop the tears from leaving my eyes and I sob into my bottle. I can’t hide my emotion anymore and I wipe my tears onto my sleeve. I can tell Rachel is uncomfortable but I don’t care. I can’t hide the pain any longer. I don’t think Rachel has ever seen me cry before but then again not many people have seen me breakdown.

I continue to lift the vodka bottle to my lips and I swallow the contents as the tears to continue to flow. I didn’t want to give up on Harry and I but he left me with no choice. He made the decision and he didn’t even consult me. He has walked away and I have to accept that. I have to accept it even though it hurts me. The vodka normally eases my pain but the more I drink the worse I seem to feel. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Rachel finishes my hair, she has put it in a neat bun on top of my head. "Do you want some time alone?" she asks me nervously "I can come back in ten minutes or so to do your make up" she says. I nod as I look at the floor allowing the tears to continue to flow down my face “Please” I sat quietly. She nods and heads to the door. "Sienna" she says stopping as she gets to the door. I look up at her and I can tell she wants to say something but she is unsure if she should say it or not. I’ve never noticed how pretty she is before as I rarely pay attention to her. She’s in her late twenties, she has bobbed brown hair that is amazingly shiny, and she has soft features as well as small eyes. She is slim but she has large breasts and I realise I know nothing about this woman who has been doing my hair for years. I don’t even know her surname. "I hope you don't mind me saying something but I just want you to know that alcohol doesn't fix anything. If you want to make something better you've got to go out and fix it yourself" she says. I watch as she walks out of my dressing room and she leaves me alone. I reflect on her words and I realise she makes sense. I know what I want but I have no idea how to fix it and even if I can.

Harry’s POV

I stand talking to Louis after we have finished our set that evening which went really well. We got a great response. It was nice to have the boys interact with me on stage again and I feel better that we are all getting on better. We have to go back to the hotel soon to get our stuff because we are going to the airport to fly to Boston. I have done everything I can to stop thinking about Sienna but it is hard when everywhere I look reminds me of her. Every part of me longs for her and it’s hard to just stop caring. "Shit" says Louis and I look at his worried face and I follow his gaze. That’s when I see Sienna. She is dressed in her outfit to start her show but she is staggering all over. I watch as she keeps falling on the floor. I know she is drunk and I have no idea how she is going to do her concert in the state that she is in. I watch as Steve appears at her side and I see he is furious with her. I watch him drag her up from the floor "What the hell happened to you?" he asks her loudly as he holds on to her.

Everyone is watching this scene unfold and as much as it is uncomfortable to watch nobody can turn away. I hear her laugh loudly and it isn’t a sincere laugh. She moves out of Steve's grasp "Somebody get me a drink" she laugh as she falls to the floor again. Steve signals to Trevor and Mark and they both quickly rush over to her and they pick her up. The four of them go off towards Sienna's dressing room and they disappear out of view. "I've never seen her that pissed before" says Louis. I turn to face him and my carefree expression is long gone. My expression is now replaced with worry and strain. "Should I go see if she's ok?" I ask Louis but before he can answer me Niall rushes over to us. "Shit did you see Sienna?" he asks "She's meant to be on stage in fifteen minutes" he tells us. I feel an urge to try and protect her and to try and help her. I don’t care if I am meant to be mad at her. "Get some coffee and water Niall. I'll get some food and Harry you go see if you can help her be sick" Louis tells us snapping me out of my thoughts. I nod and I rush off wanting to help her. Niall quickly rushes off too.

Sienna’s POV

"Trevor babe" I laugh "Get me another drink" I smirk falling off my seat. I am drunk and I can’t even focus properly. Steve paces the room, he is distraught and he doesn’t know what to do "Should we cancel the show?" he asks Trevor and Mark. He doesn’t even consult me. Why does my opinion not matter? I watch the pair shrug, they don’t know what the right thing to do is and neither do I. The door opens and I see Harry rush in. I lay on the floor and he rushes to my side. I feel happy he is here, he wants me, he wants to be with me. "We need to sober her up" he tells Steve. Steve sighs "There's not enough time" he says looking at me on the floor "We're going to have to cancel the show" he says. I can’t think straight I just stare at them trying to register their words and trying to speak but I can’t. "No just buy us some time she'll be fine" Harry says staying by my side. He smiles at me and I reach up to him "Baby" I say stroking his face "I missed you" I tell him.

He smiles at me and I can tell he loves my words. "Sienna you need to be sick" he tells me. I nod, I will do anything he wants me too. He helps me up and I allow him to help me to the toilet. He helps me bend down and he rubs my back caringly. He tells me to put my fingers down my throat and I do as he asks. I empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet until there is nothing left in me. He helps me up and he helps me wash my hands. He wipes my face with a tissue and then he flushes the toilet for me. I follow him out of the bathroom as I stager behind him. Everyone waits in my suite and I see Niall and Louis stood there. Harry grabs a drink from Niall and he places it to my lips. "Drink this baby" he instructs me and I drink it and as I do I realise it is coffee. I drink the whole thing and I do feel slightly more sober.

I hear Harry let out a deep breath and I look at Steve who is sat rubbing his temples worriedly. I know and so does everyone else that it is going to take a lot more than coffee to sober me up. Harry thrusts a cheeseburger in my face and he insists I eat it. I reluctantly eat the burger feeling full after a bite but I manage to eat half as Harry keeps going on at me. Then he makes me drink an entire bottle of water. I feel more sober than I did but I am still drunk. I try to walk and I luckily can walk now without falling flat on my face. "Sienna we need you to pull yourself together and get on the stage" Steve tells me firmly. I look at him and I nod reluctantly. I stumble a bit as I continue to walk but I do my best to make it to the stage unaided. I sigh as I get ready to go on but my vision is still blurry and I have no idea how I am going to get through this show.

I rush off the stage after the worst show of my career. I am so upset but it is my own fault. I have brought this on myself and I am slowly destroying myself and my career. The crowds boos still ring through my ears. I whimper feeling sick at hearing such hate and rejection for myself. I feel someone grab my hand and I look to see it’s Trevor and he starts to run through the backstage arena to my awaiting car. I run with him even though I feel like my legs are going to give way. I run out of the building and straight into the waiting car. Trevor climbs inside with me and the car sets off. I break down sobbing as the car drives away and Trevor rubs my back soothingly trying to calm me down. "Come on babe one concert doesn't define your career" he says caringly. He doesn’t understand this, he doesn’t understand how this feels.

Trevor’s POV

We all watched backstage as her disastrous show unfolded. I begged Steve to pull the show seeing the mess she was in but he refused stating he couldn't now the show had started. My heart broke for her as she stood on stage looking alone and lost. She needed someone to look after her but none of us could do that. Steve wouldn’t let any of us save her and that broke me. I care about her like she is my sister but she doesn’t believe that. She doesn’t think anyone cares about her but I do. She forgot words to several songs, she was too sloppy to do any of her dance moves and she looked completely out of it. It was so hard to see her slur her words as she sang them. The concert was over an hour late in the end.

I have seen her in a mess many times before but I have never seen her mess up a show or a performance. She loves the party lifestyle but it never normally affects her shows until now. I know my words mean nothing to her but I don’t want to just sit back and say nothing. "They all hate me" she cries. "Nobody hates you" I say "I mean you're a pain in the arse sometimes but hate is a strong word" I say jokingly. She laughs lightly through her tears "It's going to be all over the news" she whimpers. "So what? Same shit different day! You're always in the news it's nothing new and it'll be forgotten about after a few days" I say. It’s true she has been through worse than this and she has come out better on the other side. She wipes her eyes and nods. I place my hand on top of hers and I squeeze it kindly as we head back to the hotel. I’ll be there for her every step of the way, I hope she realises that.