The Girl in the Mirror (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Harry’s POV

I lay beside Sienna, she is now sleeping in her bed, after I carried her here. She sleeps soundly, looking content, but I am wide awake. I can’t sleep at all, too much going on in my head. I don’t make any sounds, as I listen to the sound of her breathing lightly. I sit up, rubbing my face with my hands and I try to relieve some tension. I am so fucking stressed and I can’t calm down, even though I have tried for the last hour. I honestly don’t know what I am going to do. How has everything got so fucked up in just a day?
I seriously can’t deal with her erratic behaviour, or her mood swings. I can cope with most things, but not this kind of crazy behaviour. I feel like I am not cut out for this, I’m not cut out to be her husband. I’m not just her husband, I feel like I am her shrink too. I’ve got all this shit going on too with the guys, nothing seems to be going right. I know I was out of order, but they make everything seem ten times worse. My friends are meant to be there for me, but instead they are all making things harder for me. I need someone to talk too, but who do I have?
I quietly climb off the bed, standing up, and making my way out of the bedroom. I go into the living suite, needing some time alone, to try and straighten out my head. I just need a few minutes to be able to think clearly. I shut the door quietly behind me, taking in the mess. I sigh heavily, feeling the stress still consuming me.
The suite is a mess, a complete mess. I have no clue how someone so small could have managed so much mess. I should be pissed off, but I care about her too much. I didn’t know it was possible to care about somebody, like how I care about her. This is all just a lot to buy into, especially after we have just got married. I don’t regret marrying her, I never could, but now I think I should have thought things through a bit more. I shouldn’t have drank so much in Vegas and lost myself in the craziness of it. The craziness of Vegas and Sienna.
I have a few weak moments, moments where I almost wish I hadn’t started up things with her. My life would be a lot simpler now, without her stirring things up. I can’t fix her problems, I don’t know who can. My heart aches for her, I just want her to be okay. I want her to be safe from herself, when I’m not there, or if I got away.
I won’t just leave her though, I’m not that kind of person. I would never leave her when she is so vulnerable and unpredictable. She needs me to protect her, I don’t know how I am going to do that though. What will she do when the tour ends and we are in different countries? How will she cope without me? We will be parted for weeks, maybe even months at a time, which makes me feel sick with worry for her. We didn’t think this all through. Shit! Why didn’t we think it through?
I start to clear up some of the mess she has made, well I attempt too. It’s too much of a mess for one person to fix and I can’t focus on anything. I just seem to make the mess worse, making me give up. I need to talk to someone, before I go crazy myself.
I leave the suite quickly, rushing to find someone to talk too. The last thing I want is for her to wake up and find me gone. The quicker I am, the quicker I will get back to her.
I rush down the corridor, knowing the only person who I can begin to talk to is Niall. He’s the only one who will listen to me and maybe even slightly understand what is going on.
I reach Niall’s suite, urgently knocking on his door. I am hugely relieved, when the door opens and Niall stares back at me. He looks concerned, seeing the toll everything is having on my face. He steps aside, allowing me to enter his suite. I start pacing the suite, once I am inside, and I feel like my head is all over the place. Niall shuts the door, watching me and waiting for me to speak.

“You okay pal?” he asks.

I can tell he is concerned and I’m relieved he cares enough to want to know what is wrong with me. I shake my head, looking at him and his brow knits together in concern. I need to tell him what’s going on, I need to remove this weight from my shoulders.

“No, I’m not okay. I think I’ve made a mess of things, I think I’ve rushed into things. It’s all a mess.”

I stop in front of him, gripping my hair in my hands, desperately.