The Girl in the Mirror (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Harry’s POV

I sit down on the chair in my hotel room, staring out into space. I can’t switch my mind off, everything from earlier still working its way around it. I can’t stop picturing the look in Sienna’s eyes, when she said she hated me. She said the words with such venom, it almost ripped my heart apart.
I didn’t want her to hate me that was the last thing I wanted. I wanted her to see that I was doing this for her, I should have known she wouldn’t see it like that. She has problems, we both do, but I still want to make us work. I would do anything to be with her because she’s worth it. She is worth all the shit that comes with being with her. I want to support her through this, but I know she won’t let me now.
My eyes fill with tears, emotion gripping me, as I recall every slap and punch, she delivered to me. She meant it all, she meant every hit she delivered to me. I deserved it though, I should have dealt with all of this myself. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten Simon involved. I should have sorted this out myself.
I can’t fight it anymore, or control myself. The tears fall thick and fast from my eyes, making me sob pathetically. I am such a dick. I have messed everything up, like I always do. I love her more than I thought I could love someone else. I love her enough to overlook all the shit and issues she has. I just want to be with her and to make us work. I can’t even begin to believe that this is it for us, I can’t believe we’re over.
The problem I’ve had is I’ve been hurt in the past, so I’ve done my best to avoid falling for someone else. I couldn’t help falling for her though. It’s impossible not to fall for someone like her. I can handle how unpredictable she is and even living on edge all the time, if it means we can be together.
She brings excitement to my life, something I haven’t had in a long time. I can’t remember my life before I met her, I just know it was boring. My life now revolves around her and I don’t know how to get back to normality, nor do I want to. There is no such thing as normality with her, who needs normality anyway.
I hope that giving her some space and some time to see I have done the right thing, she will realise I did this because I love her. I hope she forgives me, I’d forgive her no matter what she did. I don’t know what I will do, if she doesn’t forgive me.

Sienna’s POV

Simon sits across from me, the large wooden dining table in his suite, separating us. My arms are folded firmly across my chest and my eyes burn into him. I am raging, fuming still and I am going to make sure this time he listens to me.

“I’m not going to rehab, you can’t make me.”

His eyebrow arches in surprise, whilst he stares at me questionably. He thinks he is so smart, he thinks he has it all figured out, but I am going to make him realise he hasn’t.

“I’m an adult, you can’t have me sectioned unless I’m a danger to myself, which I’m not.”

I smug smile spreads over my face, knowing I’m right. I googled this shit, I should have been a lawyer. He has spent the last ten minutes, trying to convince me why rehab is the best thing for me. He hasn’t convinced me, not even slightly, so I am making it all as difficult as I can for him. I refuse to go, so if he thinks he can, he better be prepared for a fight.

“So, what do you call standing on your balcony ledge, claiming you can fly?”

I briefly lose my cool, but I quickly recover and I compose myself. I stare him straight in the eyes, wicked smile forming on my lips.

“I’ve no idea what incident you’re referring to, but I don’t wish to discuss this any further with you. I’ll contact my lawyer and you can discuss it with him” I dismiss him with my hand.

He attempts to keep a serious face, but I can see he is holding a laugh in. A smirk soon forms on his lips, knowing I’m not going down without a fight.

“I’ve taught you well.”

I smirk at his words, sitting up straight. I am a female version of him because he crafted me into an adult. I’m arrogant and stubborn, just like him and I know every trick in his book. He can’t surprise me, I have known him too long. His face hardens though, making him look serious again.

“Listen, I don’t like this anymore than you, but I’m worried about you. I really think you need some help.”

My body tenses up at his words, I hate his false concern. He isn’t worried about me, nobody is ever really worried. They are worried about Sienna the brand, not me. I need to stay calm though and convince him I am okay. I lay my hands flat on the table, so I can get my point across.

“Simon, I swear to you I don’t need help. I did have issues, but I’ve resolved them and I’m fine now. I give you my word” I speak convincingly.

“I want to believe you Sienna, I really do” he sighs.

I can tell I am close to breaking him and convincing him I am okay, a few more words and this will all be done.

“It’s not often I let you down. I’m not going to start doing so now. I’m fine, honestly. I just want to perform and put on a great show.”

I speak more lies, knowing now he will be easily swayed. I know how to get around him, I always have done.

“Okay” he sighs “I will give you one more chance, but if I think you’re not right, then I’m taking you to rehab myself.”

“Okay” I nod.

I forget sometimes how utterly charming I can be, and how easily I can convert Simon to my way of thinking. I would make a pretty good actress, especially with the many performances I have done over the years. I’m not fine, far from it, but I can easily portray a stable woman. I did it long before Harry came along, so I can still do it now. I just need to remember how to live my life without him. I need to act like I never met him.

***

I walk into my own suite, after convincing, Simon I’m fine. My hotel suite is pristine again, all broken furniture replaced. I assume the hotel staff have come in and fixed everything for me. The damage I caused will have cost me a fortune to get replaced, but I don’t care. My bank balance can handle the cost, no problem.
I stare around the suite, a hint of sadness consuming me. It all seems so lifeless and empty, without Harry being here. I push away all thoughts of him, knowing I need to forget him as quickly as possible. I sit down on the sofa, trying to relax, and that’s when the voices creep back in.

‘You need a drink, go get a drink.’
‘You need one after the day you’ve had.’

I stand up, walking to the mini bar, and I convince myself that the voices are right. I’ve had a shit day, so I deserve a drink. I open the mini bar, automatically pulling out all the vodka bottles inside and I drink them one after another. My body starts to relax, as the burning seeps down my throat, filling my veins. I am not satisfied though, it isn’t enough, and I need more.
I go into the bedroom, changing into some black skinny jeans, a black jumper and some black wedges. I want more vodka, so I decide to go to the bar. There is a small part of me, which hopes Harry will be there.

***

I find a table in the hotel bar, taking a seat and looking over the menu. They serve food here, which seems like a good idea, as my stomach rumbles. I haven’t eaten properly today, filling myself up with drink instead, so I decide to eat something. I haven’t eaten a decent meal in ages, just junk food.
My eyes move around the bar, spotting Niall and Harry walking in, and taking a seat at a table not too far away from me. I watch them discreetly, Niall noticing me first and he whispers to Harry, who turns around to look at me too. I look away, trying to look uninterested in him, and I look over the menu instead. I do all I can to ignore the fact that my husband is only sat a few tables away from me.
I wait patiently, until a waitress comes over to take my order from me. She is pretty, her hair worn in a bun and a sickly smile on her face. She holds a pad and pen in her hand, ready to take my order.

“Hello Miss Star, what can I get you?” she asks politely.

I order some pasta dish, which has chicken and mushrooms in it, so I decide with that combination it will be good. I order a bottle of white wine too, one bottle won’t do any harm, especially consumed with food.
My phone starts to ring, making me dig it out of my pocket, my nose crinkles in disgust seeing the name, Lee on the front. Eww, what the fuck does my horrible arsehole ex want? He is the last person who should be getting in touch with me. I haven’t spoken to him since our very public Twitter spat. I smile recalling the conversation, where he claimed he was going to sue me, very funny that was.
I’m not really interested in speaking to him, but I am curious to see why he would be calling me. I can only hope he is calling to confirm our court dates.

“Hello” I answer.

I make sure my voice comes across sternly and almost robotic.

“Hi Star” he says softly.

I am slightly taken back by the use of the nickname he gave me. He used to call me ‘Star’ when we first became a couple, but it disappeared once our relationship turned sour. The relationship I had with him was one of the most disastrous experiences of my life and concluded with me hating him. Anyway, I always fucking hated that nickname. Cheesy bastard!

“Hello, Lee, how can I help you?”

I speak coldly, like I am talking to someone I have just met and I have took an instant dislike too. He starts to chuckle, making me more irritated with him. What does he want?

“Professional response as always” he states.

He should be use to my clipped tone by now. I can’t help smirking, enjoying my over neediness in needing to always be in control.

“Indeed, so are you calling to beg me to take you back?” I ask sarcastically.

He doesn’t speak for a moment, making me realise that is exactly why he is calling me. How could he not have had enough of me the first time around? I don’t speak, allowing it all to sink in. I allow the fact that he wants me back to sink in.

“You want me back?” I ask clearly.

This man is crazy, literally insane. We had the most explosive, disastrous relationship ever, so why would he even consider going back there. I hated him and he hated me. We were both glad to see the back of one another.

“Yes, I want to come to New York, so we can talk.”

The last thing I need, or want is for him to turn up here. I didn’t love him when we were together and splitting up didn’t affect me at all. I didn’t cry, or reminisce about the good times. There were no good times, just someone who was always around, whether I wanted him to be, or not.

“Star, you there?” he asks.

“Yes, you just startled me. I got married out here” I tell him.

I’m not quite sure why I haven’t just gone in, all guns blazing and telling him I’m not interested. I don’t know, perhaps I like the attention, or maybe I want to piss, Harry off too.

“I know, I read about it. It made me realise that I love you, I was stupid to walk away. We both know you’ve rushed into getting married and this is all just a rebound. He’s just a kid, you need a man, like me.”

His words instantly irritate me, I don’t want to hear him talking about Harry like that. He knows nothing about him, or about us.

“I’ll call you back” I claim.

I end the call, before he can say anything else to me. I have no intentions of calling him back, but he doesn’t need to know that. I can’t help wondering if the whole, Harry thing is a rebound. Do I have feelings for Lee? Did I pass my feelings from him to Harry? I can hardly think straight, so I call the waitress over. I cancel my food, telling her I just want the wine. I want the wine now.

Harry’s POV

“What is she doing now?” I ask Niall quietly.

I don’t want her to overhear my pathetic neediness. My back faces her, whilst Niall can see everything she does. He watches her for a moment, concentrating as he does.

“She’s drinking a glass of wine, and looking at her phone.”

I sigh feeling depressed. I feel low, desperately wanting to turn around to look at her myself. I don’t want her to think I am some kind of stalker though. I was hoping she might have called me over, allowing us to make amends. I could introduce her properly to Niall, giving him the chance to get to know her. He would like her and she would like him, if they knew each other.
I will admit I was pissed off earlier, when Simon told me he was giving her one more chance. He said if she messes up, then she will go straight to rehab. It makes me wish I hadn’t bothered going behind her back now because it didn’t achieve anything. She didn’t get any help, like I thought she needed.
I really don’t think she will speak to me again, not after everything that I’ve done. If I could take it all back now I would, but I can’t. It isn’t that easy.

“Go talk to her” Niall encourages me.

My lips are turned down into a frown, my head tiled slightly to the side and sadness filling my eyes. I want to go and talk to her, but I’m scared of what will happen and what she will say to me. I don’t think I could face it if she ignored me in front of everyone.
I keep asking myself what is the worst thing that could happen. I really don’t have anything to lose, so I decide to just do it. I stand up, taking a deep breath and earning a thumbs up from Niall. I turn around, slowly walking to her table. She is staring down at her phone when I reach her and then she looks up at me. Her eyes are cold, like she doesn’t even know me and it makes me feel uneasy.

“Yes, child.”

Her words are spoken rudely, making me raise my eyebrows at her. My heart instantly sinks, so she is still pissed off at me.

“Can we talk?” I ask.

“Why so you can go and repeat everything I say?”

“No, I want to try and sort us out” I sigh.

I just need a few minutes to explain to her that I had the best intentions for her. I only did what I did because I was worried about her.

“There is no us” she says bluntly.

I refuse to believe that she means that, she’s just angry at me. I know she will come around, eventually she will. I notice her wedding ring, which glistens in the light.

“That ring on our finger says otherwise” nodding my head at the ring.

She laugh, proper laughs, making me feel uneasy.

“You’re funny. My lawyer will be in touch with you soon.”

She speaks calmly, drinking the remainder of her wine glass. I notice she has finished the bottle already, which is why she should be in rehab.

“What do you mean?” I ask confused.

I’m not quite sure why her lawyer would be getting in touch with me. She places her empty wine glass back down on the table and she slowly pulls the ring off her finger. Her eyes remain fixed on me the entire time. She places the ring on the table in front of me, making me feel sick.

“I’m filing for an annulment.”

She delivers that blow, then she stands up and calmly walks away from me. The only thing I can do is watch her walking away, leaving me stood here helplessly.