Lost Innocence

Chapter fifty six- Ivy

After Carrie had dropped me back home, I had spent the rest of the day dropping in and out of sleep. Replaying the scene over and over in my head.

Suddenly, I heard a knock at the door. Maybe it was Sebastian. A part of me kind of hoped that it would be, so he could hug me and make me feel better. But I knew if I saw him again today I would burst into tears and get angry. Plus i had shut him down too many times for him to try again.

I slowly made my way down the stairs and opened the door.

It was Lacey. I did not expect that at all.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I harshly asked.

"I just want to say sorry and explain." She said.

What was this, apology day?

"I have nothing to say to you." I exclaimed, closing the door.

She put her hand out, opening the door again.

"Look please, you don't owe me anything but I just need to explain. I'll just say what I have to say and leave. I swear." Lacey explained.

I let out a deep sigh. "Fine." I snapped. "but don't think I'm inviting you in." I added.

She smiled ever so slightly, "that's fair enough."

Was she going to tell me soon or what? Her presence was making me really angry. I was finding it hard not to smash her head against my door frame, but I didn't want to dent the paint work. My mum had worked painting that and i didn't want to make her mad because some bitch had turned up at the door.

"Are you going to tell me or what?" I spat.

"I kissed Sebastian ok. It was all me, he wanted nothing to do with me. He made that clear for months."

She had finally admitted it. I knew it was all her, even though Sebastian did slightly kiss her back. My hands tightened into fists. Lacey shifted on her spot, looking at her feet.

"Well gee thanks for telling me." I sarcastically answered.

"I wasn't always this horrible and slutty if that's what you're thinking." She added.

"Do you want me to feel sorry for you or something?" I laughed.

"I had a boyfriend before. I loved him as much as you loved Sebastian and he cheated on me. I walked in on him having sex with my best friend. Sebastian was nice to me, he actually gave a shit. And I kind of changed and would sleep with any guy who gave me some sort of attention, constantly trying to forget the idiot that hurt me." She blurted out.

I didn't know what to say. I was speechless. She was still a bitch, I wasn't going to forgive her. But I did feel a bit sorry for her, because I knew that she probably felt hurt. I had my mums side in me, because i cared too much about other people. Not that i knew what my dads traits were, considering he abandoned us.

"But that's no excuse for what I did to you. I wanted Sebastian, maybe because I was jealous that you two had, what I had. I should've done it. I was a bitch, I know that. But don't take it out on him. I know you don't want to be hearing this from me, but he loves you Ivy, so much. I've seen the way that you two look at each other. Don't throw that all away because I was stupid." She finished.

Well I was not expecting her to say all of that. I didn't have the overwhelming feeling to punch her anymore. Maybe just knock her unconscious. She was right though, i shouldn't take it out on him. He clearly still loved me and i had acted like such a jerk.

"Lacey, I erm. I don't know what to say. But just because you said all that doesn't make us friends. Thank you though." I said.

She laughed. "I wasn't counting on it. I just thought I should've told you that, maybe a bit earlier."

I nodded. "If me and Sebastian are meant to be together, I'm sure it will happen."

"Well I should get going. I'll see you around Ivy." Lacey said.

I nodded again, closing the door.

"Oh and Ivy. Sebastian's lucky to have a girl like you."

A jolt of pain shot through me. I closed the door and let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding. I slid down the door and put my face into my hands.

I needed to get Sebastian back. I had wasted months, messing around with Alex and being stupid. I could've spent that time with Sebastian. I'm never going to be able to get that time back.

I had to just hope that he would forgive me. None of this was his fault, it was all mine. I was the one that needed to apologise this time. Not the other way round.

I grabbed my mum's keys of the side, luckily she wasn't around for a few days. I vaguely knew how to drive a car, but not really. At least Sebastian's house wasn't that far away. If I drove slowly then hopefully I wouldn't get pulled over. Underage driving wasn't something, I wanted on my record.