Lost Innocence

Chapter fifty- Ivy

Somehow the worst possible situation had come about. I had Alex's hands pressed into the curve of my back, after he'd just been making out with me. Then i had Sebastian stood watching me across the park, with absolute disgust. 

"Hey, don't talk to him like that." I said to Alex and he looked down at my expression. 

He laughed. "That's him isn't it? The guy." He asked. 

I nodded and took his hands off me. "Just give me a minute with him." I said. 

"Whatever Missy." He smirked and i knew he was watching me as i made my way over to Sebastian. 

Sebastian noticed that i was walking over and begun to walk back down the gravel track, i knew he had emerged from. I picked up my pace, trying my best to catch up with him. I grabbed his arm and pulled him around to face me. 

"Please, wait." I begged. 

"Why, so i can see you kiss him again." He said calmly, even though i knew that he was hurt and angry. 

"I didn't know you were there, I wouldn't have kissed him in front of you." I explained. 

I thought that him being hurt would make me feel better, but it made me feel even worse. I didn't want him to be upset by something that i had done, just like he didn't want me being upset. 

"Oh don't worry about it, i wouldn't want to inconvenience you." He half snarled. 

I looked at him shocked. We had never spoken to each other like this. "Sebastian--." I started. 

"No Ivy." He said and shook my hand off of him. "At least my kiss was an accident, you intentionally decided to hurt me." He added. 

"We were together before, when you kissed Lacey. We aren't together anymore." I said louder this time. 

He looked at me like i had spat in his face. It hurt me to even say the words, but i guess i was telling the truth, we weren't together anymore. 

"Yeah well you made that pretty clear didn't you?" Sebastian replied.

I was speechless. I'd never wanted things to be like this between us. I also never thought that they would be. He had been my forever and i should have known that it wouldn't last. We were both angry, but all i could think as he stood in front of me was that i wanted to kiss him. I wanted to just be with him, even though it was too late. Everything was ruined, there wasn't a chance of reattachment between us, and i couldn't run away from him, because he had run away from me. 

I looked up at him and before i knew what i was doing, i pulled Sebastian by his top and moved my lips to his. It was a small soft kiss, that was innocently done. Yet when our lips parted, it felt like somebody had punched me in the stomach with butterflies and regret. I wasn't regretting kissing him, i was regretting having done things that meant i couldn't do it again. 

I moved my lips to his ear. "Let me go." I whispered. 

I stepped back and watched as Sebastian's eyes gazed at me and wandered down my body, before settling back on my eyes. He didn't say anything, he just turned and walked away. Something i had done to him, and i had never felt so bad in my entire life.

My trembling fingers rose to my lips, as i could still feel the tingling from kissing him. I couldn't stop loving him and that's what made this situation horrible. He had kissed Lacey, whether or not she kissed him wasn't my concern, it was Lacey. I had kissed Alex, and even though me and Sebastian weren't together, it made this thing even. But it couldn't be resolved, i had to let him go, i had to let myself let go of him. 

Standing there alone in the park made me realize that my forever was over and i couldn't blame Sebastian in the wrong doings on our departure, i was to blame as much as he was. 

All i knew as the cold air wrapped itself around my broken body, was that it was extremely dark and i was extremely alone.