Lost Innocence

Chapter fourty three- Ivy

"I'll catch up with you shortly, don't miss me too much." I teased. 

"You know i will." He replied and let go of my hand.

I weaved through the people and away from Sebastian, trying to find Carrie. I saw her bright top in the distance and made my way over. 

"Hey gorgeous, you having a good time?" She asked, when she spotted me. Her long arms wrapped around my shoulder bringing me into a hug. 

"Yeah i am thanks. Thought i'd come find you while Sebastian's getting us drinks." I smiled. "Where's your boy toy?" I added, raising my eyebrow at her. 

Her hands fell from my shoulders and she drank the remainder of her drink. "He went to the loo, i think. But knowing him he'll be off with some other girl." She snarled. 

"You know that's not true, Carrie. He likes you and i mean really likes you." I explained. 

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. At least you're dating a guy who would never even look at another girl, let alone sleep with them." 

I smiled to myself. "What can i say, I'm lucky." 

"You sure are. Speaking of Sebastian, you should go find him. I need to go and find my trouble of a so called boyfriend." Carrie said. 

Shock covered my face, i was sure. Boyfriend? "Carrie Peters, did you just call Elliot your boyfriend?" I practically squealed. 

"Maybe." She bit her lip, trying to hide her smile. 

I let out a laugh and she pushed me back into the crowds of bodies, demanding that i find Sebastian. 

Who would have thought Carrie had a boyfriend. Us four could all go out on dates together, that would be adorable. I wanted to find Sebastian now and tell him the exciting news. I guess i should head to the bar, that's where he's most likely to be. 

A warm feeling ran through me as i saw Sebastian's hair from afar. I pushed further through the crowds, honestly i'm pretty sure more people were descending into this house. 

I broke free of the dancing and looked over at the bar, where Sebastian was standing. My heart dropped out of me and my breath left my body. There was no longer a warm feeling running through me, i felt like ice. 

Sebastian was kissing someone else. My Sebastian. 

It felt like i had been stabbed a hundred times in the stomach. My eyes instantly flooded with tears and i felt like screaming until my lungs burst. 

He looked up at me with such a distraught expression. Why was he looking at me like that? He was the one who had been kissing someone else. I didn't even want to know who it was, but i couldn't help but glance at her anyway. 

Lacey. 

Out of everyone he could have cheated on me with, he picked her. Her. He may as well spit in my face or slap me, it would have felt so much better than this. 

I had to get out of here. The walls seemed to be contracting and if i stayed in here for one more minute, i was going to lose it. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, this night. I didn't think i would ever have to watch Sebastian kissing anyone else, how wrong could i be. 

I should have listened to myself. You can't trust anyone, especially people that you care about. People are so good with words, they twist things and act like they care, but they don't. 

I rushed through the crowd, grabbing my jacket. I hastily pulled it over my body, that was covered in some stupid paint that he had put on me. I clenched my eyes shut, trying to forget about what i just saw, but it didn't make any difference. Every memory of him, of us, was running through my mind and it wouldn't stop.

I let out a breath as i felt the cool air hit my face. I let my feet carry me as i ran down the gravel path, praying he hadn't followed me. 

"Ivy, wait please. Let me explain." Sebastian shouted from behind me. 

I knew it was him, just by the sound of his voice. The voice who had told me he loved me, only this morning. The voice who belonged to the only person i had ever loved, ever had sex with. 

"Explain what? That you were kissing some other girl!" I screamed at him. 

Tears were uncontrollably falling down my face. I couldn't bare to look at him. 

"It wasn't how it looked, Lacey kissed me okay. I wouldn't do that. Come on Ivy, you have to believe me." He moved towards me, i took a step back. 

"You were kissing her, how you kiss me." I whispered more to myself than to him. 

A tear fell from his eyes and i wanted to run into his arms, to feel safe. But right now, his arms didn't feel like the safest place to be. 

"I thought it was you! She put her hands over my eyes and kissed me, but i stopped as soon as i realized it wasn't. You really think i would cheat on you?" He asked, seemingly hurt that i would think that. 

I didn't think he would cheat on me, i'd never thought that. Right now, i didn't know what to think. I just felt like a fucking idiot. 

He took another step towards me and i stayed where i was, even though it hurt. "Ivy, i love you, you know that i love you." 

I shook my head, "Don't you dare!" I said with disgust. I didn't want to hear it, i didn't want to hear anything. 

Sebastian raised his hand to pull me to him. Before he could even touch my skin, my hand flew to his right cheek with so much force it shocked me. I had just slapped my boyfriend. My ex boyfriend, it seemed. 

"I trusted you. I loved you, i still love you. I gave you everything that i could, but it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough for you and right now, i don't want to speak to you or even look at you." I explained, my eyes letting out all the fluid i had in my body.

"Ivy, please." He begged, with his own tears falling. 

I looked up at him, one final time. Knowing that this was it, everything we had, was done. Nothing could be done to save it, i was too angry to listen. I just wanted to go home and cry, because being here with him now was painful and i'd had enough pain in my life. 

"It's over Sebastian." I said, crying out the words because i didn't want to admit it to myself. 

"You can't mean it, you're just angry." He whispered.

"I do, I do mean it." I replied, my voice was barely audible. 

My lips trembled, so i bit them before my crying turned hysterical. I took a deep breath and turned my back on him, walking away. Don't look back i told myself, looking back was for the weakest of people. No matter how broken i was in this moment, i refused to look back. He wouldn't take that from me. He'd taken enough. 

I didn't know the way home, but i didn't care. I didn't want to go home, because i didn't have one. Sebastian was my home and now, now he wasn't. 

When i was sure he was far enough away, i sobbed into my palms. I hadn't felt this small in a long time, and it hurt, it really did.