Lost Innocence

Chapter six- Sebastian

"What about you?" she asked.

"My old neighbour when i was 9, she was 12. I thought i was super cool. I had no idea what i was doing, she never spoke to me after it."

Ivy's lips curled into a smile, before she burst into laughter. 

I could feel the heat from her arm against mine.

God, she was beautiful. 

"I'm sorry, that was mean. I'm sure you weren't that terrible." she apologized. 

I smiled at her. I wanted to kiss her, like crazy.

"Are you a virgin?" she added. Her eyes narrowed where she tried to make herself look serious. 

I knew that she knew what i was going to say. "No, i'm not. Are you?" i replied.

She flinched at the question. Well i was pretty sure that she did. Maybe she was cold.

"Yeah, i am." she said quietly.

I liked her. She was so innocent, but not in the way that she was a virgin. Just everything about her was new and i wanted to have it all to myself. She didn't seem bothered by things everyone else thought mattered, but she cared about those that others wouldn't think twice about. And i adored that.

"What was it like? I mean did you love her?" she asked, looking at me.

"Honestly, it was bad. And no, she didn't love me either. We just wanted to get it out the way, we weren't even together." i explained. 

She probably thought i was an idiot. 

"I want to be in a relationship, when i lose it. I also want to be in love with whoever i'm with." she replied.

"That's smart." i said, looking over at her. 

The sun was hitting our feet, keeping them warm. I was already warm enough, with Ivy sat never to me. 

Oh god i was turning cheesy. 

"The only trouble is relationships are scary. I mean you care about someone, but one day you'll lose them and it'll be painful. Is it really worth it? Just to feel like shit at the end." she continued.

All i could was sit there in amazement, as Ivy talked. 

"I bet you in the end, it'll be worth it." i smiled.

She turned to look directly at me. I was already staring at her, admiring her.

Our faces were inches apart. I wanted to kiss her so badly. 

My eyes glanced towards her lips briefly. I forced them back to her eyes. They were beautiful.

Ivy, was beautiful. 

Her own eyes flickered to my lips. I sucked in a breath.

I couldn't kiss her. It had to be completely her call, otherwise i would hurt her or confuse her feelings. I hadn't even asked if she had a boyfriend. 

I cleared my throat. Ivy smiled, before looking away. What was i doing? I should've kissed her.

"We should probably get going," she said.

"Yeah we should." i replied.

I think i'm losing my freaking mind. I was so stupid. I shouldn't have let her go, i should have just kissed her. I never felt energy like that. The passion, it was overwhelming. And i ignored it.

Jesus Christ. I need Elliot here right now, to slap me for being such an idiot.