Lost Innocence

Chapter thirty three- Sebastian

I had nearly said those fatal words. 

Three words, eight letters; that was all it was. 

It was a perfect moment to say it. We were alone and making out, but something about the situation made me choke. I couldn't say the words that i had been holding in for weeks on end, as soon as Ivy's eyes locked on mine, i froze. 

Ivy had this power over me, and every time i saw her, i fell for her even more. It's not like falling for a girl like Ivy was anything to be ashamed off, it just meant for the first time in my life i felt vulnerable. Not knowing if she would say the words back was scary, also the fact that i had never said the words myself, or felt them. 

Don't get me wrong, i thought i would fall in love eventually, when i was older. But i'm eighteen and Ivy is seventeen, it wasn't like it was something that normally happened. Even so, I couldn't deny or change the way she made me feel. 

It was first time love; the time when it felt like everything and nothing mattered to you. But Ivy mattered, she really did. 

My door burst open and in Ivy walked.

She made my heart stop briefly, because just like usual she looked gorgeous and she wasn't even wearing any makeup. 

"Hey, i just used your key and let myself in." She smiled. 

That smile...was sexy as hell. 

"Don't you always. Besides it's only me here anyway." I smirked. 

"Ha ha, very funny. If you want me to leave, i will." She narrowed her eyes at me. 

I laughed and grabbed her arm, pulling her beautiful petite body towards me. 

"You know i don't want you to leave." I replied, kissing her briefly on the lips.

"Yeah, i'm not too sure. I mean you can be a bit mean." She bit her lip, trying to hide her grin. 

I shook my head. "Now who's being mean." I said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear and cupping her face in my hands. 

"You love it really." She laughed.

Yeah, that wasn't the only thing i fucking loved. 

Looking at her now, just being with her and touching her, it made me want to tell her. It was like this torture with myself. I had to do it, before i chickened out again. 

"Ivy, there's something i need to tell you." I started.

As soon as the words were out, i knew i should have started differently. Ivy's whole face dropped and her hands around my neck, eased up. What did she think i was going to say, that i was breaking up with her? I would have to be completely mental and a complete asshole to break up with her. 

"I think--No, i know that, Ivy i'm--" 

My door opened and my mum was stood there, watching our embrace with a smile. When did she even come home?

Are you fucking joking me? Nice one on timing there mum, it's not like i was going to tell the girl that i was dating that i loved her or anything. 

Jesus Christ.

"Sorry to interrupt--" She began.

Yeah you should be, i thought.

"--but i was wondering if you would like to stay for dinner tonight Ivy, we're cooking barbecue." She finished. 

"Oh, i don't want to cause any trouble." Ivy said.

She was so adorable. I placed my hand on her back, before she got really shy.

"Don't be silly, you know we love you, almost as much as Sebastian does." Mum added. 

I rolled my eyes as Ivy blushed. 

Yes mum, I do love her and she would've known if you hadn't of ruined the mood. God sake.

"That would be lovely, thanks Sam." Ivy replied, using my mums nickname. 

She smiled, before closing the door and leaving us alone again.

"You were saying?" Ivy raised her eyebrow at me to continue.

"It doesn't matter, another time." I mentally sighed. 

"Okay. I'm going to see if your mum wants any help." She placed a kiss on my cheek and turned to leave. 

What was i doing? It did matter. This wasn't some bullshit movie, where i try to be all dramatic and lose my chance at telling her.

"I'm lying, it does matter." I stated.

Ivy warily turned back around to face me. I took a step towards her, and took her hands in mine. 

"God, Ivy. I've been meaning to tell you this, I just didn't want to scare you or anything." I took a deep breath. 

Now or never. 

"Ivy, I love you."

I let the words hang in the air, as Ivy took them in. 

Her face searched mine, like she couldn't believe the words had left my mouth. Which was fair enough, because i was shocked i had even said them.

"You love me?" Her voice was like a whisper.

I held her face again. "Yes, I do." 

She bit her lip and let out the biggest smile. "Say it again."

I smirked. "I love you."

Her lips crashed against mine with so much passion, it took my off guard.

"Good." She smiled.

"Good?" I asked.

"Because i love you too." 

That did it for me. We were no longer separate bodies, we belonged to each other. I was Ivy's and she was mine. Nothing could have felt better, because the girl that i had grown and fallen into love with, loved me back. You always imagine hearing the words when you are younger, you hear them from your family and friends, but when somebody that you care about says them, it's completely different. Nothing could have prepared me for what it would feel like to hear the words from Ivy's mouth. 

It made my heart melt, and my breath get caught in my chest. That's what it felt like.

"Say it again." I whispered against her neck.

She pulled my face level with hers. 

"I love you."