Lost Innocence

Chapter thirty four- Ivy

Sebastian Tate was in love with me.

God everything felt perfect in that moment; to be honest everything had felt perfect since that moment too. All day I couldn't wipe the ever growing smile of my lips.

It felt good to be in love with him. It felt good to just be with him. 

He was everything to me. He was living in my veins, completely skin deep. I was so in love with him, i almost felt crazy. But then i guess, love was crazy. However, no matter how things would end or not end, there was no denying to Sebastian or myself one simple fact; I was tenderly, totally, tragically in love with Sebastian Tate.

I could spend hours deep into the night listing thousands of reasons why, although it would never quite be able to justify it. 

I wasn't going to fight it anymore. My mum had once told me that once you find something you love, let it destroy you. He could destroy my heart, because i was too overwhelming happy to care. 

The only sad thing was, that summer was slipping away, that meant that soon i would be in my final year of college, but Sebastian would no longer be there. He wouldn't be there to make me smile and wrap his hands around my waist when i least expected it in the hallway. I couldn't go out to lunch with him, or give him hidden kisses in the library when our timetables overlapped. I wouldn't even have Carrie anymore, because she was going off to university too. It was only me, Aubrey and a few other friends left to survive the year. 

I wanted to be next to him for as long as i could and it sucked that i couldn't be. Sometimes i really wished time would just stop, because i hated having limited days with him. I didn't want limited days, i wanted forever and that was insane.

"Hey, Ivy, you okay?" Sebastian asked, pulling me even closer against his body.

We were lying under the covers of his bed. It was about midnight by now, but neither of us could sleep. 

"Yeah, I was just thinking that was all." I replied, quietly.

"Care to enlighten me on what you were thinking about?" He nudged my arm and kissed my hair.

"You and me." I said, sighing.

"What about you and me?"

"I was just contemplating how much this next year is going to suck without you being around. It's not like you're going to a university anywhere near me, which i get is understandable, because i want you to go somewhere where you'll be happy." I explained, unsure of where i was taking this point. 

"Yeah, Ivy i'm not going to Meyerwood anymore." He stated, rolling me over so he was on top. He used his forearms so he wasn't putting any weight on me. 

"What do you mean you aren't going to Meyerwood, that's where you were accepted to go." I replied, confused.

"I didn't just apply there, I applied for universities that were a lot more local." He looked down at me, like he thought i knew what he was talking about. 

"Sebastian what are you on about?"

"Ivy, I'm going to Caboton." He said.

He was going to Caboton. That meant he was only 20 minutes away from me. That meant i would still be able to see him, he wouldn't be 4 hours away. 

"You're going to freaking Caboton, since when?!" I practically shrieked.

He placed his hand over my mouth to make me quiet.

"Since i fell in love with you."

He was trying to kill me. I had no idea what to say to that, Jesus.

"Wait--wha--" I murmured through his fingers.

Sebastian removed his hand from my mouth and kissed me.

"Did you think i was going to say i loved you, then leave you all alone? How highly you think of me." He smirked. 

I was speechless. I wish his parents weren't in the house, so i could show him how much i loved him. 

"I can't believe you would do that for me."

He brushed my hair behind my ear. "I would do anything for you." 

His lips made their way along my jawline and down my neck. I could feel his hands sneak under my top and brush my hipbones gently. His lips got as far down my chest as they could before my top prevented him from making any more contact with my burning skin. I arched my back towards him so he could remove my top and let it fall to the floor. 

My hands ran through his hair as his lips touched me between my breasts. I couldn't help but let a small gasp escape my mouth. I pulled his face level with mine and kissed him on the lips. He opened his mouth, so i brushed my tongue against his. I broke the kiss briefly, taking off his top and throwing it on the floor with mine. 

His mouth rested at my collarbone and he began to suck on the skin at the side of my neck. My fingers automatically tightened in his hair, as his lips branded my skin. 

He stroked my cheek with his thumb, when he had finished leaving his mark. A smile tugged at my lips and i briefly kissed him, wanting to touch him again.

All of a sudden i felt tired. I had all this energy and desire for Sebastian, yet sleep was still playing with my mind. 

Sebastian could somehow tell that i needed to go to bed, so he rolled over and brought me to his side. 

I slowly drifted to sleep, already happy for tomorrow, because i knew that when i woke in the morning i would still be in Sebastian's arms; he would be the first thing i would see and that was definitely something to look forward too. 

It was something that would make me want to wake up everyday for the rest of my life.