Lost Innocence

Chapter twenty seven- Ivy

My mind was burning with memories of Jason, I felt like screaming.

I needed to calm down, before i did something impulsive.

I practically jumped with fear, when i noticed Sebastian watching me in distress.

"You scared me." I said.

He took several steps forward and crouched to where i was sat on the floor. He brushed my hair away from my face, making me smile through the pain i felt.

"Ivy...Who's Jason?" Sebastian asked.

I looked up at him alarmed, my stomach clenched with fear.

He had heard me and mum.

"It--It doesn't matter." I murmured.

I tried to turn my head away from him, but he cupped my face, turning my gaze back to him.

"I know it involves you. So it matters." He replied.

I wanted to tell him, but i couldn't. How are you supposed to tell a story like that? It's not some happy fairy-tale. It's a fucking nightmare.

I removed Sebastian's hands from my face and stood up, turning away from him.

Before i could even stop myself, i was crying as the feelings of what happened with Jason, hit me.

"Ivy, please look at me." Sebastian grabbed my arm, pulling me round. 

As soon as he realized i was crying, he wrapped his warm arms around me. That only made me sob more. I was uncontrollably crying and snuffling everywhere.

"Who's Jason, Ivy?" Sebastian asked again, whispering into my hair.

"Nobody." I said, it wasn't a lie.

Jason was a nobody. My brother saw to that.

"Ivy..." Sebastian begged.

I pushed him away from me. "Why do you want to know?" I asked angrily.

"Because he clearly did something to upset you." Sebastian replied.

"It doesn't have anything to do with you. It was nearly two years ago!" I spat back.

Why was i taking it out on him? He couldn't help being concerned.

"Don't push me away Ivy, I want to help you." He looked upset.

This was one of my problems, i hated people 'looking' after me. I liked to look after myself. If i came too dependant on someone, when they left it would only hurt more.

"You don't need to look after me. I can do that myself." I choked.

"I know you can, because you are so strong. But that won't stop me wanting to be there for you." He replied. "Ivy, you're just scared. You can tell me."

"Scared? You think i'm scared? I'm fucking terrified." I replied.

A whole new set of tears had begun. I didn't even care how i looked. I felt completely broken. My bones felt weak and my limbs felt as if they were going to crumble.

"What happened?" He asked quietly.

"Stop asking me!" I nearly screamed.

I was getting out of control, the pain was too much.

"I care about you so much, I'm trying to do the right thing here Ivy. I will never do anything to hurt you, I--I promise." Sebastian looked distraught.

My heart gave in. He said the word, the word I desperately didn't want to hear.

"Don't say that word. That's what he said, but it doesn't mean anything." I admitted.