[Chapter Fifty] Where They Talk About Sarah

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Chapter Fifty – Where They Talk About Sarah
Julian's Pov

I found more amusement than I should when Caleb blacked out in the delivery room and I had to go in to help her thorough it while Bailey tried to get him conscious and calmed enough to you know, hold his son without dropping him and not to mention actually be conscious for the birth of his child.

It hurt a little to see her whimpering in pain and when Caleb got himself together he was in tears seeing her crying because it hurt so badly. She's been in labor since this afternoon and the poor girl just wanted it to end.

We were there with her until four in the morning when she was finally able to push and bring adorable little Fredrick into the world. I wasn't there when Cameron was born so this was my first time being there when it was a boy and I stood to the side with Bailey when they handed him to Kylie and Caleb looked pale as he stared at the infant but he also looked absolutely in love. In love with the woman in front of him and in love with the child she was holding.

I wiped my eyes as I watched them because I could imagine what he was feeling, his entire world was in front of him; tired, vulnerable yet precious and beautiful. Birth looked like a horrible experience but it was balanced by exactly what we saw in front of us.

Kylie didn't call her dad because he was out of country on a film and she didn't want him to feel obligated to leave that to come home, but she did call after and let him know he was a grandfather.

Bailey and I held him for a little bit before we left to sleep and let them sleep. We were so tired when we got home we crashed in exactly what we were wearing as soon as we got into bed, we were lucky to get our shoes off first.

It's been two weeks since I got out of the hospital and I asked Bailey if I could be the one to tell Mia that we were planning on moving. It defiantly hasn't been easy but dying briefly and attempting suicide really gave me a new outlook on life and made me see things differently.

For one, I didn't want to be afraid of getting close to Mia again; life was too short for that. So I gave Bailey the apartment to herself so she could relax and I took Mia out to an art museum and then I would take her to lunch later.

I enjoyed seeing the look on her face as she went from painting to painting. This was by far her favorite and it didn't matter that we've been here four times, she fell more in love with her surroundings every time I brought her here.

We didn't really talk, not yet. I just let her pull me from place to place and she talked so passionately about the paintings in front of her. She reminded me so much of myself sometimes that It was a little frightening and a lot strange.

She looked at this the way I looked at instruments or song lyrics.

I wish Sarah was here to see who she was becoming. She got her artistic abilities from her mother and she would never know just how alike they were. Sarah had her problems but she was a good person and she had a kind heart.

It was devastating that there was this beautiful girl in front of me, she was so full of life and love and she wanted nothing more than to be an artist. Mia was a fighter and she was smarter than she let on sometimes. The devastating part was that in all of that, she was just a child growing up without a mother. I didn't give a damn if my father was around and I know that if he would have died when Mia was a baby, life would have been better and Sarah would be here.

She would have been sober and a real mother to Mia.

We spent hours at the museum before she was ready to part with the building and I made sure to promise to bring her back soon.

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