Life After Rehab ✓

[Chapter Three] Where Robert Does His Thing

Chapter Three - Where Robert Does His Thing
Bailey's Pov

We did our group session together but with these latest developments Julian and I both agreed we should talk about it now and work past it now rather than let it continue to bother us and have it dragged out longer than it needed to be.

I knew it was in his past but it was still a hard thing to swallow.

Robert met us at Julian's apartment and he didn't know what was going on, yet.

"So how is your relationship doing?" he asked

"My past is already biting us in the ass and I've hurt and pissed Bailey off." Julian said wasting no time in the reason we called him

"What did he do to hurt you?" he asked me

"He's known for weeks who his leading actress is. Her name's Kimberly and when I asked he purposefully kept it from me, when I said I would google he told me she was someone he had a sexual relationship with but kept the biggest part from me. I looked it up and there's a sex tape." I told Robert and his eyes widened in surprise at that last part and he looked to Julian.

"I didn't want her to know because I'm not proud of it and I know now that I should have told her and this is just the tip of all the crap that's in my past." He spoke and I knew that.

"Did you watch it?" he asked me

"Yes." I answered

"How did that make you feel Julian?" Robert asked me

"It made me feel sick, I don't want her seeing it and think that it's why I kept it from her and even though I was the one who made it and that strangers have seen it, from her it felt like an invasion of privacy, that she didn't have the right to watch it knowing how I would feel about it."

"If he put it online I think I have the right to watch it and if we're talking about getting married then I feel like as his girlfriend, fiancé or wife, it's my right to know what is on it."

"I don't want you watching the other ones." He told me

"I want to know what's on them." I told him

"And I don't want you to. They're all similar to the first one, you could see I was a dick and I don't want you watching my sex tapes, it's weird and it would hurt me if you did."

"Start a sentence with I feel Bailey." Robert suggested

"I feel conflicted." I told him

"I feel ashamed." He told me and I grabbed his hand

"Why?" I asked

"I've told you, I'm not proud of it, I hate myself for it and I just want to forget about them and be with you. I don't want you bringing up sex because I don't have a problem waiting to marry you first. It's what you believe in and what I used to believe in and I don't want a relationship based on sex, I like that we have a good time together without it. I love you." He looked at me and I felt myself cave on everything.

"I'm sorry I watched it, I promise I won't watch the other ones unless later on it becomes necessary and I'll talk to you first but I'd like to know who they're with." I thought that was at least fair.

"Deal." He said and I felt like we had made some progress.

"What else is going on?" Robert asked

"I feel like I'm holding him back with his music, that I'm too much to take care of and his music is suffering." I blurted out and he looked at me curiously

"Julian." Robert said and he looked almost at a loss for words

"Bailey you're not the reason." He looked tortured, he always did when music was brought up.

"Then what is the reason?" I asked him

"My voice is why I got my first role, it's kind of like the beginning of my downfall and I don't want to go back to that, you're my inspiration Bailey, not what's holding me back."

"Bailey." He encouraged

"I just want you to be happy, you love music."

"I wrote you a song In Rehab, when I hated myself most and hated music most, you got me to write. It was after I went off on you, right before I found out about my dad. I didn't think you were going to forgive me."

"Why won't you let me hear it?" I asked him and he sighed

"Because I'm not ready but unfortunately a recording contract doesn't care about that. You'll hear it but if I'm going to show it to you it has to be perfect. It's not the only one I've written for you or about you either; it's just the only finished one that I've figured music out for as well."

"Before the song is released, will you sing it for me, I don't care if it's the day before but I want to hear you sing it before the world does." I was trying to understand and compromise.

"Promise." He squeezed my hand.

"So tattoos." Robert moved on and I smiled and he looked at them, he didn't disapprove he thought they were a good idea. We talked about how much I was staying over and about me going back to school. I was iffy about it because I didn't want Julian paying for it.

We talked about my brother coming in about a month and about Julian wanting me to come over for Thanksgiving with his family, Robert of course thought it was a great idea but I was iffy. Apparently Caleb and his brother's wife, Danielle I think was her name, haven't been either and so if I went it would be the first time meeting them all for the three of us.

Thanksgiving was next week and Robert was also going to be there so of course they were all trying to get me to go but what if his mom hated me, if I couldn't keep from smacking his brother?

I'd have Kylie there at least and I got to meet Caleb, he was a great guy and so maybe it wouldn't be so bad, was it irrational for me to be terrified to meet his family? I really didn't think it was, they knew I was an addict and while objectively I don't think they'll judge since I definitely wouldn't be the only one, it was still nerve wracking.

"I'll consider it, don't bother me on it though." I would think about it, I didn't want him to be the only one alone but I also couldn't see myself there. I wasn't a family person, I grew up with a shitty one as did Julian but his was better now his dad was dead, which was depressing to say, but mine would always be fucked up.

My parents were horrible people and Drew, Kenna and Micah was the only family I needed or wanted.

I was afraid they would hate me and afraid they would like me.

I don't know what I was hoping for but I was afraid to be part of a family and if Julian and Kylie were any indication then they would be loving people.

Robert knew about them now, Kylie told him and he had already suspected something of that nature, he also knew all about Kylie and what she had done and gone through and she had started seeing him recently for therapy.

Caleb had been pushing her and she had promised to start therapy before they got married, the wedding had already been pushed back twice because she didn't, he was very adamant on that and I thought it was a good idea.

She was clean but her addiction and self-hatred was far from being in the past, she and I have gotten really close and she talked to me about things she didn't even talk to Julian about and I did the same with her, she was like the sister I never had.

But just because I loved her and Julian didn't mean I was ready to meet his family and I had a week to figure out how to get out of this dinner.