[Chapter Twenty-Eight] Where Friendships Are Tested

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Chapter Twenty-Eight – Where Friendships Are Tested
Julian's Pov

I made the decision to check back into Martin for a few days, I didn't want to tempt myself again and I wanted a few sessions with Robert and when I told him what I did I could feel the disappointment radiating off of him and Kylie.

She didn't know what to say except tell me I'm stupid and I ruined the best thing I ever had, well that I already knew. I was trying hard not to completely shut down but it was hard, I missed her and I just wanted to see her.

Our anniversary was supposed to be coming up and that killed me too, I had plans for it and now those don't matter. I didn't cancel the flowers though, it was still her birthday and I still wanted her to have them; I spent so long picking out each flower and how I wanted them arranged.

I opened my door and it felt lonely but I of course wasn't alone. Nia and Lucca were sitting on my couch and I sighed at seeing them here, I just wanted a day where I didn't hate myself and they weren't about to let that happen.

"Okay, lets hear it." I dropped my bag and waited for it all to start.

"How are you feeling?" Nia asked me and I blinked once, twice and I wondered if I heard that right

"What?" I asked her

"How are you feeling, any urges to drink, drugs?" she asked

"Aren't you going to yell at me and tell me I'm a dick for what I did and to I don't know, go kill myself or something?" I asked

"You already know that and no one wishes your death." Nia was calm; Lucca looked like he could kill me.

"Yes." I still felt them and she stood up and hugged me and I felt awkward hugging her back, why did they care when I'm pretty sure they liked Bailey more than they liked me.

"Do you want to stay with me for a few days? Or I don't know, have me bitch slap Kimberly?" She asked me and I cracked a smile but I also felt horrible all over again.

"What are you glaring at?" I asked Lucca

"Lucca." Nia's voice was warning but he didn't pay her any attention.

"How could you?" He asked me and my jaw tensed, why was he even here? When my girlfriend needed to call someone else, he was her first call, how am I supposed to feel about that? How do I look at him knowing that?

"You should be happy, I fucked up and now you can make your move on her like you've been wanting for months." It made me sick to think about, to think of him touching her and I couldn't even look at him anymore.

"Lucca?" Nia turned to him

"Tell her Lucca." I said

"I'm not going to deny my feelings for her aren't purely friendly but she's your girl Julian, I wouldn't do that to you." I didn't believe that, maybe not now, but sometime he would

"Was." I looked around the living room and she hadn't come to get any of her stuff yet so I could still tell myself maybe she would come home to me but I knew she wouldn't, she was never coming home again. Never barging through that door for coffee and never going to come and jump on the bed and wake me up again.

"We're both disappointed in you and not for just what you did to her, but because you went out drinking and called yout dealer instead of coming over to us or calling one of us." Lucca said and his hostility towards me seemed to dissipate a little, I guess he just needed to get that out and I'm sure a lot more things.

"I didn't want help." I wanted to make me own decisions without being babysat and told what I can and can't do; I was tired of having no control over my life.

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