Life After Rehab ✓

[Chapter Forty-Nine] Where Life Moves On

Chapter Forty-Nine – Where Life Moves On
Julian's Pov

When Bailey parked at the apartments I started at the building for a minute and for the first time, it didn't feel like home. I looked at this huge building and all the money in the world didn't magically make it home. All the time I spent here didn't make it home, it made it the opposite.

This was a piece of who I was and who I didn't want to be anymore. I knew that changing an apartment wouldn't automatically change me, but it would help.

"Where is Mia?" I asked her when we headed up to our floor

"She's with your mom; she'll be home for dinner. I just wanted to make sure you were settled first." We walked past my door on the way to hers and I slowed as I walked by the familiar numbers nine zero seven. That address wouldn't mean anything to me anymore.

"I need to pack." I looked over my shoulder at my door as we continued to walk and she unlocked the door to her apartment, our apartment now.

"You will. I don't think it's a good idea for you to be storming back in there so soon. Give it a couple days." She set her stuff down like everything she was doing was planned and methodical. I wasn't sure what to say anymore.

This whole thing felt so awkward and uncomfortable for some reason now.

"I don't know what to do. How do I go back to my life when everything has changed?" I asked her and she shrugged.

"You make a better one than what you had." It sounded so easy when she said it like that.

I went up behind her as she walked to the kitchen; I knew it was her safe place and that it helped her when she was stressed or uncomfortable. I grabbed right under her breasts and wrapped my arms around her so she was against me now.

"I know I've made a lot of mistakes but any life with you is the best life I could ever imagine having. You had asked if I was sorry that I attempted or that I didn't succeed. You asked if I didn't want to live or didn't want to die. My answer is I'm so sorry you had to see that, but I'm thankful that you got there when you did. I don't want to die Bailey I just don't want to feel like I don't want to live either. I want to live, but I want to live and be happy." I inhaled and the smell of her shampoo overwhelmed me.

I used to think it was creepy when people did that but now it was just something that was her. This place wasn't home but she was. I would marry her tonight if she would accept and I'll gladly spend the remainder of my life making everything up to her.

"I want you to live and I want you to be happy, tell me what I can do to make you happy, anything Julian and I'll do it." She'll do anything? That brought up the most inappropriate of thoughts and considering she was pressed against me, she knew it dd.

"I don't want to live here anymore and I don't want to move in with you, I want to find a place that you love and I want you to be the one to move in with me. I want to start fresh somewhere else with you and Mia." She tilted her head back and looked up at me.

"It's a big step." She told me and I nodded in agreement.

"I'm ready to settle down and be with you, if you're ready." I could tell she tensed a little bit; maybe I was rushing her right now.

"I'm ready to start by moving in together but I can't move any farther than that in this relationship until I know you're not going to try it again." I knew what she was saying. One consequence for trying to kill myself was she didn't trust that I wouldn't try it again and until I got help, she wouldn't marry me.

"If I asked you to marry me, would you?" I asked her and she swallowed hard. She turned around so she was facing me and I took steps back when she took them forward until she pushed on my stomach and I sat on the couch. Her legs were on either side of me as she sat facing me in my lap and she ran her hand over the stubble one my face.