Profile my Heart (Currently Re-writing)

Part 101

Jennifer Jareau's POV

I'm back at the hospital. I walk over to Hotch and Emily. Emily's sleeping.

"You're holding up?" I ask Hotch.

"Me, yes. But not Emily," he whispers, looking at her.

"Yeah... And do you have any news from Oliver?" I ask, sitting at Emily's right.

"No. He still in surgery."

Emily wakes up.

"Is Oliver okay?!"

"Em', calm down. Oliver's still in surgery," I declare, passing my hand in her hair.

"JJ... You came back..."

"Of course, I did."

"I want to hold him..."

"I know, Emily. I know. But he's fine."

She snuggles up to me and starts to cry. I see that Hotch tries not to cry.

"Go take some fresh air. You need it. I'll take care of Emily."

"Thank you," he says, getting up.

And he leaves.

"I want him, JJ... I want to hug him... I want to hold him..."

"I know, Emily. I know. But he is with the best surgeon of the hospital. You don't have to worry. He's gonna survive and you know it."

Suddenly, Emily gets up and runs towards the washroom. I follow her. When I enter in the washroom, I hear her vomiting. I run over to her. And I hold her hair.

Once she finished vomiting, she sits beside me, near the toilet. She lets her head falling on my legs and I put my hand in her hair.

"Shhhhh... Emily... It's okay..."

"No, it's not..." She declares, crying.

"Emily... You're strong. Oliver is strong. He will fight until the end. And his end isn't right now, you know it."

"I feel like shit."

"What are you saying?"

"I just feel empty. I don't feel alive anymore. Why did I survive to the Unsub's attack? Why?"

"Because you're strong, as I told you."

"I just want to go with my daughter. I want to go away to see her."

"Emily. You can't. You have to stay alive for Hotch, for Oliver, for me, for everyone who loves you! We need you to stay! The reasons why you're not dead are that you are strong and that your end isn't coming soon, as Oliver."

She gets up to vomit again and then she lays back on my legs.

"I'm tired to fight," she sighs.

I put my hand back in her hair and I begin the hum a lullaby.

"I'm tired to fight," she sighs again, closing her eyes.