You Want Me, Just Say It

4 fresh start

This can't be happening, can it? I suddenly feel a very guilty feeling. What if he left because of the accident? I assume this Lisanne is the one he cheated on my mother with. The more I read that letter, the more selfish it sounds what he has scribbled down on the note. How dare he add that he loves us. If he really loved us he wouldn't leave us.

"I never expected this from Dad, I knew he had serious problems but this..." I say shocked.

My mum looks at me dubiously.

"It just happened, if he wants to be selfish he will do it. We will have to move on with our lives here. If he's happier with Lisanne, that's good for him. Maybe he will find peace with her." She sighs.

I can see my mother is devastated. Look at us sitting here, there are two of us now.

If my mother found someone else after a while, I would grant it to her with all my heart. With my father, she never found much love. She deserves so much more than that.

I need to clear my head and decide to go for a walk. I walk up to the stream just around the corner and sit down on a small bench. When I want to sit on it, I think the whole village can hear the bench creak. I live in an old village where the emns know everything about each other. I would like to live somewhere other than here. Somewhere in a city, for instance. Not here in the middle of an old worn-out village where every person knows you.

When I want to put in my earphones to listen to some music I see someone approaching in the distance. A boy with dark blonde hair wearing a black north face jacket and black loose jeans underneath. He is walking a dog. He doesn't look wrong, certainly not. Until I see him up close. It's Jordan. I have no desire to see him now. I pretend not to see him as he walks by but the labrador he is walking comes running towards me. I give the dog some attention, hoping it will go away soon. But instead the dog sits down right in front of me. Jordan is now right in front of me. Quickly I stop giving the dog attention.

"Bruno likes you that way." Laughs Jordan.

Is he talking to me now? Jordan being full of arrogance? I just smile back.

"What are you doing here so alone babe anyway?" he asks winking.

Gross if he calls me that already.

"That's none of your business and don't call me darling." I say back irritated.

He comes to sit beside me and rubs a hand through his hair. He looks at me smiling.

"Is anyone cranky?"

I ignore him.

"Come now babe, to me you can tell anything."

"Do you say that to every girl you meet?"

"Well now are we jealous already, we're talking toad for the first time hehe."

I don't say anything in return, he's not worth it.

"I notice you're not really very talkative, I'm going to head off again." Says Jordan still.

He calls out to Bruno who had started playing and walks on.

What was Jordan doing here all of a sudden I wonder. He was being his annoying self but our conversation did make me forget the whole event with my father for a moment. Maybe it wasn't so bad.

***

567 words

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