Still I Can Feel You - Joel Hokka

Best Version Of Me

August 2020, Helsinki

As we expected our band grew bigger and we got more and more known around the whole Europe.
Our followers were raising everyday and we got so many messages from old and new fans.

Eurovision really helped us.

This summer we also had a tour around Finland and that's when we realized for real how famous we got and how much we and our music mean to some people.

So many people attended our shows.
The number felt unreal.
We got presents from fans after the shows, we stayed after to talk or take pics with them.

The things that they said to us everytime were so nice.
They said that our music has helped them through many difficult times, every personal story remained written on my mind and I would definitely think about it for days.

This summer made me realize that we're not alone but there are so many people that feel just like we do.
People that aren't accepted from everyone or the society because of the way they dress, act, talk or because of the music that they listen too.

Once a fan told us that we are their comfort zone and when they are listening on our songs they feel free and themselves.

Kristy was listening to me talking about this for two nights on a row.

Those people mean so much to me.
We are here because of them.
If they hadn't voted for us that night on May we wouldn't be performing for thousand of people every single day.

Our dream came finally true.
We were touring around our country during the whole summer playing for people that came for us.
And we weren't the supporting band anymore.

And the next summer we are hoping for a European Tour.
We've realized that we're not only famous in Finland but around the whole Europe.

There are fans that travel from other countries just to attend our shows.
There are messages from fans from other countries asking us if we will go in their countries.
There are pages that they've made showing us their love and support.

Younger us would never expected that we would have all of this one day but we always dreamt about it and now...
We have it in our hands.

We get to attend so many interviews, we've appeared on television and so many radio stations still talk about us.

My biggest dream finally came true.
After years of dreaming and suffering I made it.
And I wouldn't have made it without my band mates and my biggest supporter, Kristy.

She's been there since we got that sixth place, she's been on most of our shows that summer, always helping us with whatever we need.

Being famous sometimes wasn't easy to handle, there were times that people followed us wherever that we went, or they spread rumours about us.
That's the bad side of being famous and I never liked the idea of it but with all the good there is always some bad that comes with it.

We always love to take pics or talk with fans but when they get over the limit and don't respect our personal space and privacy it becomes too much to handle.

Obviously news about my relationship with Kristy were flying everywhere but we were denying them, at least we tried too.

She didn't want to be involved at all of this.
She also received messages from fans and they weren't always positive.
That's why she didn't want our relationship to me known by everyone.
She believed that this could affect us in some way and she didn't want us to have problems because of this and I totally agreed with her.