Still I Can Feel You - Joel Hokka

Not The One To Blame

   January 2018, Netherlands

Aleksi's Pov

  It's been almost two months since I decided to take studies in Netherlands for six more months, and I also suggested Kristy to do the same so she can get the diploma that she always wanted so she can start working as a music teacher.

Kristy has been my roomate for over than nine months and I've known her nearly a whole year.

I still remember how excited I was when they informed me that I would have a new roommate after leaving alone for I don't even know how long. I also gained a really good friend, because with Kristy we aren't just roommates anymore but also really good friends and because of her I got to know some other people too.

For example Niko, her best friend or her brother as she calls him, at first I really thought that they were siblings but then they explained me about the relationship they have and how close they are since little kids.

Another person I got to know was Joonas, The guitarist of their band and their party animal and I really understood why he got that nickname the first time that he visited Kristy in Haarlem.
At first he wasn't impressed and happy with me being Kristy's roomate and when they told me why he acted like this I was laughing a lot about it.

He wanted Kristy to have a girl roomate so he could try to get a girlfriend, because he has been single for way too long, so he wasn't excited when instead of a beautiful,  with long hair and beautiful eyes female he saw me.
To be honest I wouldn't be excited either.

When I went to Helsinki with Kristy I got to meet Olli and Tommi.
Both of them are really nice and interesting guys.
I had really interesting chats with those two and especially with Olli, he opens to other people way faster than the other man and he is more sociable than Tommi, that's why I spend a bit more time with him.
I was happy to get to know them though and spending more time with Niko and getting to know Joonas better was really fun.

The second person I met from their group, or should I say third if I count Kristy was Joel.
Her boyfriend, someone that doesn't really like me now.
When I first met him I really thought that he was a cool guy. The way he dresses, talks about life,  the band that they have and music in general made me realize that my thoughts were right.

As months went by and Joel visited Kristy more often I also got to know him better and we slowly we started to become friends. I was starting to admire him, I got to know his story and things about his past that made me think about him only in a good way and he was really good, at least infront of me.

He also was a good boyfriend.
He cared and loved Kristy way too much and I realized that when he asked me to help him find a place to go on a date with her, but I don't know if he loves her anymore and I'm sure that he doesn't want to see me anymore and I don't know if I should  think about him the way that I used to.

Even if I didn't want to get involved between them and their relationship in some way they put me in their argument because I was the one that suggested to Kristy to continue her studies for six months and she didn't discuss about it with him but me.

He didn't want Kristy to continue and leave him again for this long.
In some way even if I don't know him completely or what he feels like I could understand him.

If I was in his place I wouldn't be really happy to let my girlfriend leave me again for six whole months when they've already spend such long time apart but he should have supported her and not blame her or actually me for Kristy's decision.

He also dared to ask her if she's cheating on him, obviously having me in his mind.

He's probably hurt and doesn't know who to blame but I'm the last person he should to.
I just wanted the best for Kristy since that is a big chance and only for six months and she wouldn't be alone because I would be here too.