Still I Can Feel You - Joel Hokka

I Can Take Your Place

March 2019, Helsinki

Once she told me about everything and revealed the truth, we had some breakfast and we decided to meet the lawyer.

We had to be done with all this thing soon and I don't want Kristy to be more and more worried for us because of Johanna.

I need to be sure that this time I will manage to keep her safe and that Johanna won't dare to touch her.

I don't want us to live with this nightmare anymore.
Even if I may have to come face to face with Johanna again after not seeing her for so long, I will do it because I just want to protect the people I love and mainly Kristy.

She's been haunting our lives from away for many years but now everything should come to an end.

We should not be afraid of her anymore, we deserve to live a normal life without thinking that Johanna could just appear one day to take away whatever  we have by this time.

"It will be okay" I held Kristy's hand when we were about to walk into the lawyer's office.

We would make it to keep her away from us this time.
She can't make it this time. She won't get between us again.

I knocked on the door and as soon as we got the reply that we could get in Kristy opened the door and we both walked in.

The man that I saw that night and thought that he was the reason why Kristy may cheat to me came to greet us.

Kristy had informed him before we came that I knew everything and that I could actually help them.

"Please sit" he showed us the chairs infront of his desk and we sat next to each other and he went in his seat.

I just hope that this man is really good in his job and he can do something that will help us.

"So with what I got till now the only thing we can do is to have a doctor of ours to check on Johanna and decide if she actually needs to stay more in the clinic" he brought up some papers.

I think only the thing that she tried to kill Kristy twice was enough to never let her leave that place but maybe I should tell them about the crisis that she had everytime that she saw me.
And how she acted when she found out that we would break up or that she would go in the clinic.

"With the information that you can give me we can maybe manage to keep her inside the clinic for many more months or years" he pointed at me "you know her the best of all after all" he got a pen on his hand and moved it around his fingers.

Kristy was looking carefully at both of us and I was paying attention at every single word that left his mouth.

"We should also consider  the thing that maybe she is fine and just wants to apologize, even if what she says sounds suspicious you can never know" he let the pen down and we nodded at him "I mean she's been there for at least 3 years so maybe they actually helped her"

This thought didn't leave my mind since Kristy told me the truth.
We all knew that the way that she said that she wants to meet me and Kristy sounds like she wants to finish what she started but what if she regretted everything and she's better since then.

I haven't visited her for years, and it's been a while since I spoke with her doctors, so maybe she's actually fine after spending three years in that place.

But what if she's actually acting and she just wants to take away from me the person that I love the most, because she wants me to experience the pain that she felt when I put her in the clinic even if I know that when she manages to get better she will understand that it was for the best.