Still I Can Feel You - Joel Hokka

Nothing Is Like Home

April 2016, Paris

  We went back in the hotel to check on Niko. We've been away for one hour and half so Kristy wanted to know what he was doing just like I also do.

I feel really bad that they lost their trip for this and it's sad that Niko has to spend his whole time in a hotel room.

Of course he could be more careful while he was going down the stairs but his clumsy self decided to make them a slide and not stairs and that's how he end up like this now

We walked in our floor and Kristy would for sure have a key of Niko's room so as soon as we were infront of the door she opened it and we both walked in.

"Hey" she said to Niko that was laying on his bed, scrolling on his phone

"How was the walk?" He moved himself up and looked at us

It was nice, for me... I like Paris and the company I had with me was really good.
I liked spending time with her. She's fun to hang with and when we're together I can't understand and realize how time passes so fast.
I also now know a lot of things about her life, she opens up easily to people something that I really don't.

Having trust issues doesn't help me to talk to people about myself, my past, my character, my problems and life in general. It's not easy... I feel like they're gonna make fun of me...

I care about what people think of me. I have doubts about the way I look or the way I act. I'm afraid to let myself free infront of people that I don't know for too long....

But with Kristy at least I can act the way I feel and don't hide my feelings. Of course she doesn't know a lot about my current or past life but everything she knows maybe is enough for now.

She also found out that I have a lot of problems in my relationship with Johanna. She said the thing we have is a toxic relationship and it doesn't help no-one of us and I think that exactly the best way to describe what's happening between me and Johanna.

I'm sure that in the future Kristy will get to know me better and she's gonna completely understand what kind of person I am.

The thing that impressed me about her is that she's also studying music because of Niko and the way she thinks in such young age.

She knows a lot of things about our world and she's the logic one in our friend group. She's really optimistic and always tries to see the good in every situation. She trusted us really fast when she knew us only for one month....

Exactly the opposite of me..... I can't trust people, I'm the most pessimistic out there... I always thing of the worst versions of the situation and that everything will eventually turn out bad but what's connecting us is the love for music.

I can see how much she has music into her heart. Her eyes are sunning everytime we speak about upcoming songs and music in general. She always asks us our thoughts about a lyric and helps us if we're stuck somewhere.
As she said, without music we would be nowhere

Something Johanna would never agree with. She hates listening to music.. every time I'm doing some practice at home or try to find a good lyric to complete a chorus she tells me to stop or go to another room.

I also always loved to play guitar, it makes me relax and forget about how harsh this world is but again she hates it when I do....

I would really prefer to have a girlfriend were we would listen to music together... We would sing together while I was playing my guitar.. that was my dream but I got to live with my nightmare.