Still I Can Feel You - Joel Hokka

Not With Me

 

  December 2015, Oulu 

Today we would start the recordings with Kristy. Everyone was really excited about the upcoming album and so was I.

I can't wait to see and hear the results.

Today I once again woke up on 4 am because that's when Johanna returned home. She is my girlfriend and we've been dating for more than a year.

She usually spend her days in my apartment and lived with me. But those days she's been going out till really late.

Before we started the album we used to go out together but since October I don't feel like going out every night. I'm anxious and worried if we're gonna actually make it.

My band now means more to me than having fun in bars and getting drunk every day.

She's young, like I am. we have two years difference, she's only 21. But how can she party every night?

I obviously didn't manage to sleep when she came, so now I was already up making a coffee for myself.

I didn't bother to make something for her since she wouldn't be up before
12 am.

She wasn't this way when we met. We really used to have so much fun together and we spend a lot of time together when we first started dating but now that I have my band, she prefers to go out alone or with her friends.

There were a lot of times that we had so many arguments. Most of them were caused by her. She keeps saying that I only care about the band now and my career and not her, when that's a big lie.

I care about her and love Johanna so much but the way that sometimes she just leaves the houses and appears after a day without telling me anything can drive me insane.

Joonas really told me a lot of times to break up with her but I can't. I love her too much to do this.

"Good morning" I said  to Joonas when he opened the door of his apartment.

We would go together in the studio today, that's why I went there. I didn't need to drive, we were almost neighbors. Having your best friend near you is kinda fun I can't lie but sometimes is also annoying.

How many times I had to come face to face with drunk Joonas. Oh My god I can't even remember the number

"Again? Joel I told you what you have to do" Joonas Said when I told him what happened again with Johanna

I really wished that only this was our problem. When we go out together and there are girls in the same places she gets jealous for no reason.
That's actually crazy. Yea I can get also jealous and I do get sometimes. She is beautiful and obviously other men look at her but I don't act the way she does. I never make her leave the place we are just because someone was looking at her. Sometimes it's getting out of hand
I can't lie that I had thought about breaking up with her but I can't do this.

"I've told you that I love her" I drank a sip from the second coffee that he gave me.

"Whatever you're gonna regret it one day. Let's go now" he was wearing his shoes and then he grabbed his keys.

I really hope that I'm gonna take my mind off with our recordings and the help of my friends.

Soon enough we were in the studio. We were waiting for Niko and Kristy. Honestly this man always being late on everything. Never getting here on time.

Maybe he's enjoying his time with Kristy. As time passed I really believed that they are a couple.

I hope that Niko is actually having a good time with her and he's enjoying their relationship. Not like mine but in a different and better way.

I can't hide the fact that Kristy seems like an annoying person. She was smiling uncontrollably the whole time and she was trying to act nice with everyone. It was her first day here and she even helped Joonas with his guitar strings.

If Niko is happy with her then I'm fine with it but it's not like I would like to see her everyday.

"Good morning boys" Niko stormed in sounding happy as always and she was following behind

"Morning to the gang" she chuckled 

Joonas went to greet her and I just put on a fake smile so I wouldn't seem like I don't like her.

"I really want to thank you for having me guys" she said before we started our recordings

We're gonna also thank you If we have a good result. And I really hope we do or else we're gonna be on zero again.

"Just come in" I said to her and she walked infront of me.

She was wearing a black skirt with black pantyhose under it and a red sweater. Okay I can't blame Niko she dresses good but I'm not really sure about her character.

When I walked in she was already wearing my headphones.

"Those are mine" I moved them so she could hear me.

She took them off but didn't give them to me.

"Find me another pair and you get them" she moved them infront of my face and smirked.

I immediately grabbed Niko's headphones and gave them to her.
Honestly she could just give them to me and get to find another by herself.

Niko was outside looking and smiling proudly on her. My brother she's not on TV, she's gonna just sing for your band.

She knew where exactly we needed her vocals so when music started playing I started singing my part. We would need her and in the end of the song but that was Niko's part so it would happen later.

We needed to try twice since at first our voices didn't fit a lot.

"From what I know and I've heard, you can do better" she pat my shoulder

I'm sorry? We know eachother for less than a day and I don't think that we are friends or something, so she shouldn't be doing this or talk this way.

I just have to work with her and nothing else, it's not like we're gonna hang out together one day and have fun all the group together.

I'm so sure that she's gonna annoy me to hell but I'm not gonna let her this way. Not in my place of work.

She can date Niko, she can joke with the others, but not with me. I don't need a friend like her.

*Author's note
Okayyy.
Johanna is a walking red flag
Also let me tell you that we won't have a single pov from Kristy.
Only Joel and maybe smth from Niko.
Enjoy 🖤